SENSATIONAL SEASONAL SALUTATIONS AND SANGUINE SIMPLICITY this month. A simple salute from a simple somebody with a simple suggestion and a simple story to share. The simple salute is to welcome you once again to the weird and sometimes whacky world of CRAVE Vintage Guitars (or CVG – a new acronym for short! NB. Nothing to do with the 3‑letter Airport Code for Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport). The simple suggestion is an urgent restatement to respect and protect our shared home planet as well as to inject some much‑needed humanity into our fracturing civilisation. The simple story, which will unfold in due course, is a return to a realm of familiar fanciful fun and further fabricated frivolity (with just a simple soupçon of audaciously absurd alliteration, always).
Prelude
So, without further ado, we shall progress on to the simple story. There is not a lot about vintage guitars this month. Instead, the subject matter will return to focus on the simple founder, frontman and heralded hero of CRAVE Guitars. You have met him before and now he’s back for more. I am talking about the one and only The CRAVEman. He may be a simple soul but he has a keen sense of integrity, humility, morals, ethics, valour and an unfailing commitment to nurturing his nascent cherished community. What a guy! Perhaps this article should be called ‘The Awesome Adventures of The CRAVEman’. Seriously though, what’s not to like?
However, I do recognise that this sort of fictional fable may not be to everyone’s taste, so no grudges will be sustained should you wish to defer allocating your intellect to other matters this month and come back when there is something a little more, well, factual and grounded. Not much in the way of tortuous narrative this month; but lots of images for your diligent delectation.
“I cannot say who, precisely, came up with the idea of a Stone Age family” – Joseph Barbera (1911‑2006)
Previously on ‘The CRAVEman Cometh’
You may recall, back in July 2025, that ‘el jefe’ and nom de guerre of CRAVE Guitars was revealed to world in ‘The CRAVEman Cometh’ If you want to revisit his introduction and early exploits, follow the link below (opens in a new tab).
Due to popular demand (well, predominantly my own tbh), I have decided that The CRAVEman deserved a second outing to build on the mythology and to expand on the CRAVEworld (it doesn’t warrant a CRAVEverse yet because, well, he’s a stone age relic isn’t he?). It is here that he strives to eke out an existence within his small semi‑nomadic group while, at the same time, seeking to advance his musical aspirations. I hope you enjoy spending some light‑hearted time with the laudable leader and Rock Guitar God of his prehistoric people.
Full disclosure, the original images for this article were produced using AI and edited (I won’t claim ‘enhanced’) by me. There are a lot of inconsistencies and visual errors that have been left intentionally untouched. The reason for this is twofold. The first is to highlight that AI still has a very long way to go before its outputs can be regarded as genuinely credible. The second is that the faults actually add some fun ‘spot the mistakes’ and continuity flops (as well as, arguably, some peculiar, anomalous charm) to the ridiculous falsity of the whole product. What I will say is that, if creative AI tools weren’t available as a means to an end, there would be no adventures of the The CRAVEman.
Regular readers will know about my observations and opinions on the evolution and utility of AI, highlighting the potential benefits and significant risks of the fledgling technology. This is not the place to reiterate those views. Let’s face it, The CRAVEman is about as artificial as can be, so what’s the harm in representing him artificially through a bit of reflexive irony and satire? Given the evidence presented below, I recommend that you make up your own mind about the divisive worth of AI, past, present and future.
As ever, though, the words are 100% human with no AI intervention whatsoever. I still need to control something. As with the previous prehistoric expedition, a substantial suspension of disbelief is an absolute prerequisite for your investment to be repaid. I must stress that this tawdry tale and imaginary interlude is for entertainment purposes only. There are no serious real‑world insights whatsoever, just rampant ridiculous unreality. Do not try this at home, folks!
“The latest refinements of science are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age” – Winston Churchill (1874‑1965)
Welcome to CRAVEland (Geography of The CRAVEman’s Domain)
Last time around, we followed The CRAVEman on his adventures in his tribe’s territory. This month, it is time to explore quite what that territory is and why it is so important to his community’s social culture and wellbeing. The clan is essentially a co‑operative with only informal leadership and followers providing any sort of class structure. You may recognise some of the characteristics from The CRAVEman’s previous adventures.
The CRAVEman’s world is located in a Stone Age cool temperate climate generally characterised by warm summers and mild winters with moderate rainfall throughout the year. Temperate regions are found between the tropics and the polar regions. Depending on how far north (or south) one goes, temperate climates are divided into warm temperate and cool temperate regions.
The CRAVEman, along with his compatriots live in a small commune unsurprisingly called CRAVE Town in a region known as CRAVEland. CRAVE Town comprises a group of humble caves situated at the foot of a small but significant mountain range. His hunting grounds include not only the mountains but also the forest, grassland, rivers and sea. All in all, CRAVE Town is a great place for a tribal community to settle, survive and thrive with many natural resources close at hand, such as shelter, security and access to abundant food and water.
There are few serious dangers to impact on the tribe’s wellbeing and prosperity. Wild animals and competing neighbouring tribes from the other side of the mountain range result in occasional risks to their livelihood but, on the whole, peace prevails.
To all intents and purposes, the extent of The CRAVEman’s realm is as far as his tribe can travel and return home safely, resulting in a natural boundary to his domain. Being a simple chap, he doesn’t spend too much time pondering on what might lie beyond the edge of his realm or even further afield.
“Stone Age. Bronze Age. Iron Age. We define entire epics of humanity by the technology they use” – Reed Hastings (1960‑)
The Latest ‘Adventures’ of The CRAVEman
Like last time, there is some sort of story behind the images. Like last time, I’m not going to spoon feed you with any sort of plot. Like last time, I’ll give a hint about his adventures through short captions for each image. You can take that as it comes or you can create your own storyboard and use your imagination to craft your own version of The CRAVEman’s cracking capers. It’s much more fun that way.
I grew up with comic books, manga, comic strips and cartoon stories – everything from Krazy Kat, Peanuts, Garfield, Calvin & Hobbes, Tin Tin, Asterix The Gaul, The early X‑Men, Thor, The Fantastic Four, Spider‑Man, Captain America, Hulk, Dr. Strange, Vampirella, Watchmen, Judge Dredd, V For Vendetta, Maus, Wonder Woman, Superman and my personal favourite, Batman (the darker the better), amongst many others. The diversity of content fired my imagination and inspired my alternative view of the world, albeit somewhat fantastical and a sanctuary from the cruel reality of everyday human existence. It is in that spirit of conjuring fanciful flights of fantasy that I’m alluding to when suggesting that it’s up to you to put your own slant on proceedings. Take it where you want and immerse yourself in his latest experiences.
Guitar Maintenance Time – The CRAVEman giving one of his CRAVE Guitars some essential TLC before it is put to some serious band use with rehearsals and gigs coming up.
Cave Wall Painting – The CRAVEman trying to document and preserved the images of prehistoric CRAVE Guitars for future generations. It is kinda his guitar collection database.
Stone Age Graffiti – The CRAVEman viewing some local graffiti done by some local yoofs on a rock face near CRAVE Town. While not showing outward approval, he kinda digs that his influence is having an effect on the next generation.
CRAVE Guitars Exhibition Time – One of The CRAVEman’s close friends acting as an exhibition curator, showing off some CRAVE Guitars in the hope of inspiring others to take up the cause.
Band Song Writing – The CRAVEman doesn’t rest on his laurels or past hits. He needs to get down and concentrate hard on some serious new song writing for his band and solo projects.
Shopping for New CRAVE Guitars – The CRAVEman suffers from G.A.S. (Gear Acquisition Syndrome) just like his modern counterparts. He travels far and wide to nearby markets to look for new guitars to add to his collection. A prehistoric guitar shop, if you will.
Stone Age Social Media – The CRAVEman needs to promote and market his band’s image, so he sets about some prehistoric ‘social media’ posts. He has to use a clay tablet so that he can spread the word and follow the band.
Pre-Gig Arrangements – The CRAVEman has a drink at the CRAVEpub before his band plays a big gig at the venue. The barman is also a friend and part‑time band manager, event organiser, as well as venue owner, so it’s an important meeting.
Pre-Gig Chat Up – The CRAVEman meeting a couple of CRAVEgirls at the CRAVEpub, getting to know some of his fans and potential future groupies. Times haven’t changed much over the millennia.
The BIG CRAVE Gig – The CRAVEman’s band – The CRAVEband (what else?) – plays a big rock gig at the CRAVEpub in front of many fans, not just his tribe but also from neighbouring friendly ones.
The Gig After Party – In order to capitalise on the big rock gig, the pub landlord also arranged a post-gig music club after party with lots of frivolity and fun for his customers and to celebrate a successful performance by The CRAVEband.
Solo Rehearsal – Not only does The CRAVEman play with The CRAVEband, he likes to rehearse some solo material and engage in a bit of rock music head banging, just for fun and to let his hair down.
Battle of the Stone Age Rock Bands – The CRAVEband isn’t the only rock band in CRAVEland. There are several up‑and‑coming competitors. The landlord of the CRAVEpub organised a ‘Battle of the Bands’ event to celebrate local music talent.
Guitar Lessons – The CRAVEman knows that the future of rock music relies on the next generations taking up his passion. So The CRAVEman also takes time to teach the local CRAVEkids how to play guitar and keep the vibrant scene going.
Family Rock Jam Time – The CRAVEman’s old man drops into the CRAVEcave for a jam session with his son, proving that The CRAVEman is a chip off the old rock.
Chillout Time – After all the community fun playing with The CRAVEband at the CRAVEpub, the after party and the battle of the Stone Age rock bands, The CRAVEman needs some reflection time with his loyal canine buddy, The CRAVEdog, while noodling on his guitar for relaxation.
Outdoor Guitar Practice – On fair days, The CRAVEman likes to sit outside his CRAVEcave and enjoy the clement weather while also taking the opportunity to engage in a bit of idle guitar practice to lift his spirits.
Admiring The CRAVEman’s Guitar Collection – Also on good days, he likes to get his impressive collection of CRAVE Guitars out, set them up outside his CRAVEcave and admire them for what they are, great prehistoric rock guitars. He’s also thinking about what his next CRAVE Guitar might be.
Prayers at the Altar of Rock Guitars – Before retiring for the night, The CRAVEman knows just how privileged he is in his community role and feels obliged to pray to the venerable Rock Gods for his own and his tribe’s good fortune and prosperity.
Time to Settle Down – Coming up to The CRAVEman’s bedtime, he relaxes with his CRAVEdog and does a bit of noodling before retiring at the end of the day to snooze and dream of Rock Godness.
“Ordinary language embodies the metaphysics of the Stone Age” – J.L. Austin (1911‑1960)
Final Thoughts on the Latest Adventures of The CRAVEman
Well, that’s it for now. The CRAVEman has exited stage right and is taking a well‑deserved rest after his latest escapades. Given the season, it is time for his annual hibernation until springtime. However, when I interviewed me, my alter‑ego confided in me (Ed: that’s a disturbing internal dialogue) that he would like to return. As Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947‑) as the T800 cyborg assassin stated in the film, ‘The Terminator’ (1984), “I’ll be back”. Keep your precious peepers peeled for the possibility of further exploits of your favourite Stone Age Rock God! What a non‑living legend!
There is no protracted pretentious pontification for a welcome change this month. No opinion, just a momentary pause in proceedings to reflect on the puerile panoply of prehistoric pictograms.
Finally, The CRAVEman wishes everyone a great start to the Happy Holidays season from Thanksgiving through Christmas to New Year. Have an exceptional time everyone. Here’s The CRAVEman’s Thanksgiving celebration portrait…
“Welcome out of the cave, my friend. It’s a bit colder out here, but the stars are just beautiful” – Plato (c.427‑347BCE)
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’
Sticking with the Stone Age Rock theme of this month’s article, I’m going back a bit to the heyday of British rock. Appropriately, this month’s accolade goes to…
Deep Purple – Deep Purple In Rock (1970): ‘In Rock’ (for short) was English rock band Deep Purple’s 4th studio album released in June 1970 on the Harvest record label, comprising only seven tracks covering just 44 minutes. The band’s line up at the time was the classic ‘mark II’ membership (Ian Gillan, Ritchie Blackmore, Roger Glover, Jon Lord and Ian Paice). Classic tracks on the album include, ‘Speed King’ and ‘Child In Time’. At the same time as the album, Deep Purple released their complementary classic breakout hit single, ‘Black Knight’ (1970), even though it didn’t appear on the original LP track list.
Deep Purple were on a roll in the early 1970s with subsequent albums such as, ‘Fireball’ (1971), ‘Machine Head’ (1972) and ‘Burn’ (1974). I don’t want to get into the heated debate about what genre this album represents. Some call it heavy metal (it isn’t), some call it classic rock (only in retrospect; at the time it was just rock), some call it hard rock (ditto) or perhaps it is just… rock (probably most apposite). Ultimately, it doesn’t matter, it was great pioneering rock produced during a prolific and innovative period in British and American music. It’s not my personal favourite Deep Purple album; that would be ‘Made In Japan’ (1972). However, ‘In Rock’ is a great album by a massively influential band at the time and it fits the bill for this particular article very nicely. It also showcases the band members’ prodigious musical talents, not least the guitar pyrotechnics of Ritchie Blackmore.
BELIEVE IN MUSIC!
“Maybe when all was said and done, the imagination was the most powerful of all weapons. It was the imagination of the human race that had allowed it to dream of a life beyond cold caves and of a possible future in the stars” – Dean Koontz (1945‑)
Tailpiece
So, my veritable virtual visitors, the time has come for The CRAVEman (and me, in my multiple personality disorder duties) to bid you a flippant fond farewell, at least for the time being. I have a funny feeling that the modern world has not seen the last of The CRAVEman. Watch this space.
Next month’s outpouring is very likely to be a predictable end‑of‑year‑review article, so not too demanding on the real stupidity (as opposed to artificial intelligence) front. Fare thee well from the newly titled CVG, fine friends.
Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. The CRAVEman, signing off for now. Until next time…
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “What you will know tomorrow is an accumulation of what you’ve known every day before”
HI Y’ALL GOOD FOLKS. HOW ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? The CRAVEman bids you a warm welcome and hopes all is as well as it can be, wherever you are on our precious shared planet. It is kinda a rhetorical question intended to encourage one to consider, albeit very briefly, the importance of one’s own health and wellbeing. I am not expecting responses. Honest. Well, here we are, heading irretrievably towards winter in the northern hemisphere. Gracious greetings once again, it’s fab to have you along in the abstruse alliterative arena of CRAVE Vintage Guitar Gear. I thank you, sincerely, for your attendance – it is genuinely and humbly appreciated. I’m sure you probably have much better things to do than join me in my repetitively random rants and ramblings.
Just a short up‑front re‑statement in support of my on‑going cultural campaign to promote humanity’s desperate need to bring peace and harmony to our divided, embittered world. Amity is not only about stopping existing conflict but also about preventing future hostilities. True and lasting peace can only be achieved through unceasing efforts to stimulate genuine understanding, co‑operation and tolerance. Reconciliation and peaceful collaboration should be a collective imperative for everyone on our only world. War is ignorance. Peace is wisdom. Simple. Apologies but this is my only platform to disseminate that vital message.
“Authoritarian societies are inherently corrupt, and corrupt societies are inherently unstable” – William Gibson (1948‑)
Prelude
Last month’s article looked at ‘Vintage Guitar Gear Collections Within A Collection: Part I – CRAVE Guitars & CRAVE Basses’. This month, we have the sequel, based on CRAVE Effects, which delves into the weird, wonderful and occasionally wild dark side of vintage gear to explore what vintage effect pedals are, what they do and why they might be of interest. Vintage effects are a bit of a niche interest and can often be overlooked by the mainstream ‘collecterati’, so they are by default of interest to your humble host.
Upfront, I really love old analogue effect pedals. I’ve owned some of my favourite pedals since the late 1970s and they are still going strong. It is probably needless to say that modern digital effects provide pristine, crystal clear tones, low noise levels, consistent and reliable power supply, and feature seemingly limitless combinations of control. Call me old school but the excellent new models lack that grubby, grimy imperfectness that makes the oldies the goodies. Some manufacturers recognise this and, alongside their modern DSP (Digital Sound Processing) based ‘computers’, companies reissue and/or (try to) replicate the vintage classics. However, from my perspective, these modern effects can be considered ‘too good’ in comparison, lacking a bit of warmth, soul and charm. An analogy may be like comparing a clapped out old Citroën 2CV with a brand new Bentley Continental. I’d actually go for the cheaper and decidedly more eccentric Deux Chevaux.
As with last month, this article’s featured quotes bring a few carefully selected thoughts about human ‘perception’ to the proceedings. As usual, no AI was used in the writing of this article, just the tired and worn out brain cells of your mentally atrophied author. Apologies for intellectual standards falling short of real intelligence. I did, however, use AI image creation for The CRAVEman image towards the end of this article.
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see” – Henry David Thoreau (1817‑1862)
Previously… on Collections and Collections within a Collection
There is little point in reiterating the original idea on which this article is based. If you wish to view/review CRAVE Guitars articles on the compulsion of vintage gear collecting and guitar/bass collections within a collection, those blogs can be accessed by following the links below (each link opens a new browser tab).
Last month, guitars and basses were grouped by other criteria for an alternative perspective. Sadly, there aren’t enough CRAVE Amps to justify a similar treatment, so there won’t be a Part III. However, effect pedals just cry out for a different method for appreciating their vintage charm, hence this article.
“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is — infinite” – William Blake (1757‑1827)
Effect Brands
Since the 1990s and particularly since the beginning of the 21st Century, there has been an explosion of interest in, as well as supply of and demand for, effect pedals. The massive proliferation in effect pedals (way too many to mention here) is effectively excluded from this article on vintage pedals, as CRAVE Guitars has an arbitrary cut‑off of 1989. All the effect pedals featured herein all come under the heading of CRAVE Effects.
For the purpose of this article, a good starting point is to define the effect brands featured on the CRAVE Guitars’ web site. The ‘big four’ and ‘the rest’ are:
Electro‑Harmonix (EHX)
MXR
BOSS
Ibanez
Other – Colorsound, Dallas Arbiter, DOD, Dunlop, Jen, Marshall, Pro Co, Sola Sound, VOX
On the CRAVE Guitars’ web site (as CRAVE Effects), effect pedals are organised according to the de facto ‘standard’ way of cataloguing vintage gear brand. Like other vintage guitar gear, effects are usually referred to by brand, model and date. This is how effects are grouped on the web site features and galleries. It is also how I tend to keep track of the pedals in which I’m interested. Therefore, I am assuming that this standard methodology of curatorship is a given and I won’t expand on this further.
As mentioned on the web site, not all these brands are American. CRAVE Effects is the only part of the ‘collection’ where I extend the boundaries to include brands from across the globe. The reason is that these pedals were integral to the cultural zeitgeist of, particularly, American and British music from the 1960s onward, possibly more so than instruments. While I am usually pedantic about such things, I am flexible in this regard. ‘They’ say there is always an exception to a rule. ‘They’ also say that rules are there to be broken. ‘They’ should really make ‘their’ mind(s) up.
There are some notable effect brands missing from the above list, for instance Binson, Digitech, Maestro, Maxon (who made effects for Ibanez), Morley, Musitronics, Roland (who make BOSS), ROSS, Shin‑Ei, Thomas Organ, etc. The simple reason is that this article is focusing on CRAVE Effects and the ‘collection’ doesn’t have any of these effect brands (yet). As with instruments, the scope has to be limited, if only for my sanity. The point will, nevertheless, hopefully be made anyway.
For clarity, there are no rack effects featured here, even though some were common during the period covered (for instance from Roland and MXR). Also, there are no digital multi‑effect units or software effects, as these tended to appear more recently than vintage pedals.
“Everything hinges on how you look at things” – Henry Miller (1891‑1980)
Effect Types
The standard methodology, as you may have gleaned from last month’s article, isn’t the only way to look at things. Even more than instruments, effects fall relatively easily into an alternative, convenient set of groupings. It is this that I’ll be using for the rest of this article. This might prove interesting because it isn’t easy to view this perspective on the web site.
There are plenty of resources on the hinterwebby thingummy that suggest a variety of different effect types. I analysed these and I don’t necessarily agree with any of them. In the end, I went with my own intuition and came up with the following broad categories, noting that some pedals fall across or between these groups (for instance, compression and EQ often feature a clean boost and hybrid effects such as octave/fuzz, wah/fuzz and wah/volume pedals are commonplace). There are also some effects that could be classified entirely within a different category, for instance compression, which doesn’t easily fall within any category.
Gain Effects (e.g. clean/treble boost, overdrive, distortion, fuzz)
Breaking the above groups down, there are around 30 different sub‑types, which provide a seemingly obvious way of looking at effects differently, something that I have not previously done with CRAVE Effects.
You may well argue that pedals grouped under #7 above aren’t effects at all and you’d be right. However, they are more or less, integral to many musician’s pedalboards, so for this article, they are included as an additional category. There are also some effects often used by guitarists/bassists that don’t fall into any of the above categories, for instance drum machines and loopers.
CRAVE Effects currently doesn’t have some effect sub‑types, for instance analogue synth, ring modulator, tremolo, limiter, noise gate, pitch shifter, etc. That means that there are some gaps at the time of writing. My aspiration is for the collection to become more comprehensive over time.
Phew! That’s even before we get started for real. Fewer words from here on in, mainly images – ‘they’ (again) say an image speaks a thousand words, so that’s what I’m banking on. Enjoy the colourful world of diminutive floor‑based stomp boxes with the following 7 headlines and 15 mini‑collections, each with an introductory section explaining what the grouping means for the sounds we hear.
“One person’s craziness is another person’s reality” – Tim Burton (1958‑)
Mini Collections 1 – Gain Effects (16)
Gain effects work by boosting the signal to varying degrees in certain ways. At its simplest, a clean boost will simply amplify a signal, making it stronger (louder). Used carefully, it can be used to overload the input stage of subsequent effects or (valve) amplifiers, causing then to start ‘clipping’ the signal – effectively flattening off a normal sine wave signal. In itself, an average clean boost doesn’t clip a signal. Overdrives take the principle a bit further by intentionally overloading circuits to force them into ‘clipping’, intended to produce a warm saturated valve‑like sound. Distortion effects inherently create a definite ‘clipping’ as an integral part of their circuits and present these already distorted sounds to whatever follows them. A good distortion effect will retain the core signature of the signal it receives. Fuzz pedals take the effect to logical extremes by forcing a sine wave signal into a brutal square wave signal, creating a wall of heavily distorted sound that can, if pushed, even obscure the original signal altogether.
Left‑right, top‑bottom: 1980 BOSS OD‑1 Over Drive, 1985 BOSS SD‑1 Super Over Drive, 1981 Ibanez TS‑808 Tube Screamer Overdrive Pro, 1981 Ibanez TS9 Tube Screamer
DistortionEffect Pedals (7)
Left‑right, top‑bottom: 1975 MXR Distortion +, 1981 BOSS DS‑1 Distortion, 1985 BOSS HM‑2 Heavy Metal, 1983 Ibanez SD9 Sonic Distortion, 1984 Ibanez SM9 Super Metal, 1989 Marshall The Guv’nor, 1988 Pro Co RAT
FuzzEffect Pedals (5)
Left‑right, top‑bottom: 1977 Electro‑Harmonix Big Muff Pi, 1978 Electro‑Harmonix Little Big Muff Pi, 1975 Colorsound Supa Tone Bender, 1969 Dallas Arbiter Fuzz Face, 1976 Sola Sound Tone‑Bender Fuzz
“What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are” – C.S. Lewis (1898‑1963)
Mini Collections 2 – Modulation Effects (21)
Modulation relies, in theory, on a time‑based effect but they produce a distinctive sound. First of all, they retain the original signal. A phase effect will copy a signal and put it through an analogue delay circuit called a bucket brigade device (BBD). A BBD will store the original signal and delay it very slightly. Then it does the same again to the delayed signal and so on. This creates a delayed signal that is out of phase and mixed with the original signal – hence phasing. Controls usually feature rate and depth (strength). Flange takes the concept and extends it, producing a second audio signal and mixing it with the original, causing a swooshing or ‘airplane engine’ sweep across frequencies. Chorus works by layering multiple copies of the original signal and slightly detuning and delaying them, thereby creating what was intended to sound like multiple instruments. Chorus is often used to thicken and deepen the overall sound.
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are” – Anaïs Nin (1903‑1977)
Mini Collections 3 – Time‑Based Effects (8)
Delay effects fall broadly into two general types. The subtler of the two is reverb. It works by delaying the original signal very slightly so that the resulting sound creates a feeling of space, as if sound waves were reflecting of surfaces and gradually decaying. Reverb recreates sound wave reflections reaching the listener at slightly different times, for example in a large open space, such as a church, cathedral, cave, hall or empty venue. Echo effects basically do what they say on the tin. It copies the original signal and replays it one or more times with a delay that is sufficient for the brain to process it as a separate sound wave from the original. Originally tape loops were used to record, play back and then erase the signal. Solid state analogue BBD circuits superseded tape but are limited in clarity and the time between repeats. However digital delays can create very long delays with crystal clean echoes. The ultimate extreme of delays is used as the basis for modern looping effects.
Reverb & Delay/EchoEffect Pedals (8)
Left‑right, top‑bottom: 1987 BOSS RV‑2 Digital Reverb, 1977 Electro‑Harmonix Deluxe Memory Man, 1978 MXR Analog Delay, 1986 BOSS DD‑2 Digital Delay, 1982 BOSS DM‑2 Delay, 1984 BOSS DM 3 Delay, 1982 Ibanez AD9 Analog Delay, 1980 DOD Analog Delay 680,
“Beauty is no quality in things themselves: It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them; and each mind perceives a different beauty” – David Hume (1711‑1776)
Mini Collections 4 – Filter Effects (10)
Filter effects effectively add or remove certain frequencies within a signal thereby changing the tone of the signal. They generally do not affect the volume or pitch of a signal, just the amount of bass, middle or treble. The simplest of these is the equivalent of a passive tone pot on a guitar or bass being used to shape the sound. Putting a tone pot in a treadle and operating it with the foot creates a filtered tone sweep (the crying wah‑wah effect) when the signal is changed continuously or, if kept in a fixed position, create a sound with an emphasis either on bass or treble characteristics of the original signal. An envelope filter, derived from analogue synthesiser technology attempts to recreate the wah‑wah type sound electronically without the need for the player to control the signal manually. EQ (short for equalisation) can be a straightforward ‘graphic equalizer’ with different controls for different parts of the signal, meaning that the sound spectrum can be shaped very accurately. EQ can also be parametric, where one control selects a certain frequency and a second control varies the tone around that frequency (often found in recording studio desks). Counter‑intuitively, low cut filters preserve high frequencies and vice versa (also slightly more sensibly called high and low pass filters).
Wah‑WahEffect Pedals (3)
Left‑right, top‑bottom: 1977 Colorsound Supa Wah‑Swell, 1980s Dunlop Original Cry Baby GCB‑95, 1980 Jen Cry Baby Super
Envelope FollowerEffect Pedals (5)
Left‑right, top‑bottom: 1976 Electro‑Harmonix Doctor Q Envelope Follower, 1980 Electro‑Harmonix Zipper Envelope Follower, 1978 MXR Envelope Filter, 1985 BOSS TW‑1 T Wah, 1981 Ibanez AF 201 Auto Filter
EQEffect Pedals (2)
Left‑right: 1981 MXR Six Band Graphic Equalizer, 1981 Ibanez GE‑601 Graphic Equalizer
“Though we see the same world, we see it through different eyes” – Virginia Woolf (1882‑1941)
Mini Collections 5 – Amplitude Effects (7)
Put simply, amplitude effects change the volume of a signal. They generally do not affect the tone or pitch of signals. Amplitude and frequency affects are often confused, for instance, tremolo (affects the volume) and vibrato (affects the pitch). They are fundamentally very different things. At its simplest, a swell pedal puts a volume control in a treadle that can be foot operated, giving the same result as a volume control on a guitar or bass. A swell effect is actually very hard to replicate electronically. Tremolo provides a ‘throbbing’ or ‘pulsing’ sound by increasing and reducing volume in a predetermined cycle and was the first on‑board effects in vintage valve amps. Compression generally falls into this bracket and works by boosting low level signals and cutting (or limiting) high level signals thereby ‘compressing’ the dynamics of a signal that can vary from slight to significant. Compression can be used to smooth, warm, thicken and sustain a signal, often very useful for guitar signals that are usually dynamic with sharp attack, rapid decay and short sustain. Noise gates work in the opposite way, by eliminating low level signals including extraneous noise.
Left‑right, top‑bottom: 1980 MXR Dyna Comp, 1980 BOSS CS‑1 Compression Sustainer, 1981 Ibanez CP‑835 Compressor II, 1982 Ibanez CP9 Compressor/Limiter
“There is no fixed physical reality, no single perception of the world, just numerous ways of interpreting world views” – Deepak Chopra (1946‑)
Mini Collections 6 – Pitch Effects (3)
Pitch effects do what they say, they affect the pitch of a signal without changing the tone, tempo or volume. Pitch effects can be used on their own, such as a simple octave generator which mixes the original signal with a tone that may be one or more octaves up or down. A harmonizer is more complex in being able to shift the pitch by degrees, e.g. thirds, or fifths up or down, creating a harmony that depends on the key of a piece of music. Some of the simpler pitch effects are often combined with other effects, particularly octave and fuzz being a popular option thanks to one James Marshall Hendrix. The MXR Blue Box below is an example of a combined fuzz/octave effect pedal.
OctaveEffect Pedals (3)
Left‑right, top‑bottom: 1976 Electro‑Harmonix Octave Multiplexer, 1975 MXR Blue Box, 1985 BOSS OC‑2 Octave
“Most of the mistakes in thinking are inadequacies of perception rather than mistakes of logic” – Edward de Bono (1933‑2021)
Mini Collections 7 – Speciality Pedals (2)
As mentioned above, speciality pedals may or may not affect the overall sound effect at all but can be vital for guitarists or bassists as an integral part of a pedalboard.
Channel SwitchPedals (2)
Left‑right: 1970s Electro‑Harmonix Switch Blade Channel Selector, 1986 BOSS PSM‑5 Power Supply & Master Switch
“It is a narrow mind which cannot look at a subject from various points of view” – George Eliot (1819‑1880)
Yet Another Alternative Perspective
As always, there are different ways of looking at ‘collections within a collection’. To be exhaustive would be gruelling and extraordinarily dull, so I will use just one example, grouping by model series, rather than effect.
During the early days of Ibanez pedals, they released a series of effect pedals commonly known as the Ibanez ‘0’ series pedals – with the ‘0’ being the middle number of the model designation (puzzlingly except for the CP‑835 Compressor II). The most famous of the Ibanez ‘0’ Series pedals was the iconic TS‑808 Tube Screamer Overdrive Pro. The ‘0’ series pedals were distinguished by the unique square footswitch.
Ibanez ‘0’ Series Effect Pedals
In reality, the ‘0’ series did not last long and was really a transitional model. It was replaced by the completely restyled Ibanez ‘9’ series pedals, with the ‘9’ being the last number of the model designation. For instance, the TS‑808 became the TS9. The most obvious design change is that the ‘9’ series pedals replaced the square footswitch with a more traditional large (BOSS‑style) treadle‑operated footswitch.
Ibanez ‘9’ Series Effect Pedals
These two ‘mini collections’ clearly show the evolution of effect pedals during a short and very prolific period for stomp boxes. While there are many other permutations, this comparison makes the point quite clearly that other approaches can be taken. Say no more.
“Perception and reality are two different things” – Tom Cruise (1962‑)
The CRAVEman’s Pedalboard
Many people get confused about the general sequence in which effects should be placed in the signal chain. ‘The conventional wisdom’ (NB. Commonplace beliefs that are generally accepted to be true without critical questioning – a term often credited to Canadian/American economist John Kenneth Galbraith in ‘The Affluent Society’ (1958), even though it might originally date back to c.1838) suggests the following sequence:
This sequence is only a guide, not a diktat. Many guitarists change it up to create a different type of soundscape that suits them. No surprise, I prefer a different effect pedal order that I developed over several years playing in a band. Even so, it still doesn’t mean that it’s fixed in perpetuity. What I learned was, ‘do your own thing’ to suit you and create your own signature sound.
“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else” – Fred Rogers (1928‑2003)
The CRAVEman’s favourite effect pedals, regardless of brand, represent a back‑to‑basics approach and may provoke a debate based on opinion. For me, in order of favourites, it was/is #1 echo, #2 fuzz, #3 flangers, #4 envelope followers. The CRAVEman’s least favourite effect pedals #1 phasers (too common), #2 chorus (ditto), #3 overdrive (others do it better), #4 pitch shifters (inconsistent tracking). May I be cast into the abyss of Tartarus in the underworld to suffer eternal torment, such is the extent of my judgemental wickedness! However, I stand by my heresy and shall not repent.
Unlike many contemporary musicians, my preferred pedal line‑up is very simplistic. I do play around with it but I keep coming back to a core that suit my playing style and musical leanings. They are all classics in their own right and are all very analogue. The creative possibilities with this set can be quite ‘out there’. It also has the advantage that pedals from the same manufacturer are also more likely to work together than a mix‑and‑match approach. Are there better examples of each effect from other brands? Undoubtedly, but not for me. Here’s my go‑to line up…
Electro‑Harmonix Big Muff Pi
Electro Harmonix Bad Stone
Electro‑Harmonix Electric Mistress
Electro‑Harmonix Zipper Envelope Follower
Electro‑Harmonix Deluxe Memory Man
I also use a combined wah/volume pedal but no specific model. You notice I have a soft spot for EHX effect pedals. There is no particular reason, it’s just that they sound and behave the way I like. Admittedly, they were also the first serious pedals I used, alongside Dallas Arbiter/Colorsound/Sola Sound pedals. Others come close, for instance the MXR 100 phaser, as well as the MXR and DOD analogue delays. There are plenty of newer exceptional effect units (e.g. Line6) but this article is about vintage pedals, so that’s where I’m focused. While undoubtedly excellent, most Japanese pedals (e.g. BOSS/Ibanez) just don’t do it for me, which is a bit weird.
“All our knowledge is the offspring of our perceptions” – Leonardo da Vinci (1452‑1519)
Final Thoughts on Effect Collections within a Collection
I hope you enjoyed the colourful selection of CRAVE Effects’ stomp boxes viewed from a slightly different perspective. In one sense, they all look alike, while on closer inspection, they are all very different aesthetically. Although ‘new’ acquisitions are currently in abeyance, I have become besotted with vintage effect pedals, for better or worse. Vintage effect pedals represent quite a convoluted playground, fostering much confusion, misunderstanding, debate and conjecture.
I have finally given up the fight and I now concede that I am a small‑scale, limited ‘collector’ of vintage guitar gear. I think that this and the previous articles tend to cement this unfortunate conclusion. Yup, I have become something I have tried hard to avoid becoming. Darn it! I refuse, as far as I am able, to go full ‘collecterati’ though.
Even though a single effect pedal doesn’t take up much space, collectively, they do. The CRAVEcap (the constraint of space and funds) currently in place means that any ‘new’ acquisitions to CRAVE Effects may be a while off yet. It may come as a surprise that some rare effects can cost more than vintage guitars, basses or amps, including several pedals featured herein and on the web site.
“Before you become too entranced with gorgeous gadgets and mesmerizing video displays, let me remind you that information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, and wisdom is not foresight. Each grows out of the other, and we need them all” – Arthur C. Clarke (1917‑2008)
One thing, though, does ‘bother’ me about the whole world of vintage effect pedals. One of the fundamental principles of vintage guitar tone is to keep the signal chain as short and as direct as possible. Vintage gear enthusiasts will often spend (many) thousands of pounds/dollars on expensive vintage guitars, basses and amps because of their undeniably unique and attractive tonal characteristics.
Then what do we go and do? Those same enthusiasts buy a cheap little box crammed full of transistors, resistors, capacitors, pots, ICs, switches, circuit boards and wiring, and then we put them directly in the signal path. A few older effects may be passive, while most others are battery driven (usually one or two 9V 6LR61/MN1604/PP3 blocks), which has proved to be an unreliable power source dependent on charge levels. The alternative is to use AC power transformed into DC, often with variable voltages and currents as well as polarities. In addition cable attenuation is also a problem – lots of pedals use lots of interconnects. Pedal circuit boards, components and cables usually comprise budget items originally ordered in bulk quantities for mere cents/pennies per unit. Older circuits were often also hand assembled using whatever was lying around and often constructed with variable soldering quality. All things considered, consistency and quality control certainly weren’t manufacturing strong points in the 1960s and 1970s.
Open up some older pedals and one can be amazed at the crude nature of the assembly. Open some of the newer pedals and there are massive amounts of components, often with multiple IC (Integrated Circuit) chips suddenly placed directly into the signal chain, seemingly intent on corrupting it. When analysed, many electronic circuits are inherently ‘noisy’, often with unintended audio effects, which we can hear. There can be profound issues with mixing and matching ‘true bypass’ effects with buffered effects, as well as issues combining analogue with digital effects. A complex pedalboard can also be very sensitive to the order in which effects are used. Many modern amps have an effect send/return loop between pre and power stages, rather than the traditional method of effects feeding directly into the pre‑amp’s input stage.
Bottom line, there has really been nothing fundamentally new in the last 65 years of effect pedal development since the early days of innovation. Many modern pedals are copies of classic pedals or just variations of tried and tested themes. The old ways of specialist analogue pedals have been superseded by an overwhelming multiplicity of layered digital complexity. However, the principal aims and core characteristics have remained largely unchanged.
“Perception is a mirror not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward” – Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803‑1882)
Nowadays, inline effects and amps are not always needed and guitarists rely on DI (Direct Input) into studio/stage digital audio processors, weirdly set to mimic vintage analogue gear. Then we also add in wireless signal transmission. All of these factors can affect the tone of the rest of the signal chain, often very significantly. Problems are frequent and often hard to identify and eradicate.
Yet, we continue to adore and admire these miniature miracles of electronic bits and pieces for destroying the very things we so desire from the rest of our vintage equipment. Go figure! This dilemma completely blows my mind when I stop and try to rationalise it objectively. Am I alone in contemplating this peculiar incongruity or is it a widespread understanding? I have absolutely no idea; the whole gamut of convolutions is not straightforward to resolve.
When I rejuvenated my guitar playing in the 1990s, I tried a multi‑effect unit but found I was spending more time working out how to use the seemingly unlimited and not very intuitive controls, rather than to focus on what mattered, playing guitar. The multi‑effect was soon ditched and I reverted back to a mix‑and‑match approach of separate pedals. This soon changed again, by replacing new effect pedals with vintage ones and the rest, as ‘they’ say, is history.
Believe it or not, digital effects started appearing in the early 1980s, supplementing rather than superseding analogue ones. Some of these early vintage digital stomp boxes are included here (I’m not prejudiced!). Digital processing started appearing, mainly in delay/echo pedals and reverb effects (reverb can’t easily be replicated using analogue circuits).
Another question. Are some effect reputations worthwhile? In my opinion, sometimes but not always. Some highly regarded pedals are good but overrated, often hyped by artist association, rather than by their inherent characteristics. Others can really surprise because they ‘fit’ with a particular situation. Some will swear that a script logo MXR Phase 90 sounds better than a block logo one, even when the internals are identical and the change is purely cosmetic. Some models will sound different from pedal to pedal, even if the circuit design is the same. Some circuits behave differently from pedal to pedal, for instance anything with an environmentally sensitive germanium resistor. Some seemingly identical pedals used different components from one to the next due to component availability and/or price at the time. Some commentators will also swear that component ‘a’ sounds great while component ‘b’ sounds like total garbage, while to the average user, the differences are so slight as to make no audible difference, especially in a band setting. Does it really matter or does snobbery fit the bill (again)?
What I’m really trying to say is, go with your ears and instincts, rather than brand name, effect specification and hype. The best way to sound unique is not to go with the flow but to do your own thing. Be creative and experiment not only with the pedals you use but also in the order they are used. It is way more fun creating the unique way you want to sound, rather than trying to sound like someone else. Inspiration can be found in these marvellous and magical miniscule machines (Ed: alliteration still alive and well then).
The effects featured here aren’t the only effects owned by CRAVE Guitars/Effects. I have a number of newer (i.e. non‑vintage) pedals, as well as a number of studio rack effects. Hunting down vintage effects, though, has become my main focus. The non‑vintage effects are excluded from this article.
“People only see what they are prepared to see” – Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803‑1882)
Some vintage effect pedals are ubiquitous and can be picked up for very little money. Others however can cost astronomically silly amounts. This may be because they are highly regarded and much in demand, for instance, early Dallas/Colorsound/Sola Sound Tone Benders, Dallas Arbiter Fuzz Faces, and Ibanez Tube Screamers. Others are just very hard to come by, especially in good condition (remember these things are used on the floor and tend to get a lot of physical abuse). Some others are pricey because they were niche products only produced either for a short time or in very small numbers (or both), for instance the BOSS Slow Gear featured.
One of the reasons I got into vintage pedals in the first place was during a period of austerity lasting many years. During that time, I couldn’t afford or accommodate guitars, basses and amps but effects were relatively cheap and didn’t take up much space. Thus, they became a serious part of the CRAVE Guitars/Basses/Effects/Amps family. The fascination with these little bits of gear heritage suffer from the same GAS (Gear Acquisition Syndrome) that affects most guitarists. This means that ‘collecting’ vintage effect pedals can be seriously addictive – be warned!
Will traditional single‑effect pedals be replaced by modern digital modelling ones? Probably, but not just yet. Studio DAW (Digital Audio Workstation) software has already gone a long way down that path in many home and pro studios and there is plenty of scope for further improvement. In fact, one might wonder where AI will take effect pedals and digital plug ins in the future. For many, the AI‑influenced future will look very bright. Me? I’m defo old skool. Personally, I think the archaic noisy, temperamental, analogue effects have a certain allure and charm that no end of digital meddling will ever be able to replace (a bit like our enduring love for real valve amps and vinyl records).
As of 2025, the effect industry is largely alive and well and still thriving (within the overall operating environment of a declining music industry), especially in the rarefied realms of boutique pedals. It seems that guitarists and bassists can’t get enough of these tone mangling monstrosities. Love ‘em. When it comes to the crunch, these are serious toys with which a creative musician can extract great fun and satisfaction in our own inventive sound pits. Enjoy.
“Our senses enable us to perceive only a minute portion of the outside world” – Nikola Tesla (1856‑1943)
A Seasonal Message From The CRAVEman
This section has nothing to do with vintage guitars. However, it does take a brief look at a different aspect of western society’s cultural heritage. Apologies.
At the end of October each year, we tend to celebrate Halloween on the 31st of the month. The traditional roots of Halloween go back some 2,000 years ago (or more) with Irish and Scottish Celtic harvest festivals signifying the beginning of the dark half of the year and the onset of winter.
Celebrations around this time of the year and the origins of Halloween as a mystical event derive from the festival of Samhain (NB. translated as ‘summer’s end’ from Old Irish), with its roots in pagan custom for honouring dead ancestors. It was believed that the veil between the living and the dead of the Otherworld was at its weakest, allowing spirits to manifest and roam in the world of the living. Believers would set bonfires to ward off evil spirits and wear masks to avoid being recognised by ghosts.
In Christianity, All Hallows’ Eve (from where we get the word, ‘Halloween’) on 31 October is the holy day before All Hallows’ Day (All Saints’ Day) and All Souls’ Day on 1 and 2 November respectively (NB. The noun ‘hallow’ means a saint or holy person and the verb means to honour as holy). The relative timing of such festivities led to a blending of pagan, Roman and Christian traditions over the centuries.
In Mexico, ‘el dia de los muertos’ (literally, the day of the dead) festival coincides with the end of October/beginning of November every year, when families gather to remember and pay respect to those that have died. This suggests that paranormal revelries at this time of year have become widespread across many countries.
Incidentally, the film, ‘Halloween’ (1978) is one of the author’s favourite cinematic masterpieces, directed by the legendary John Carpenter and starring Jamie Lee Curtis. A great horror film for a Halloween party/film night. Great soundtrack too.
It therefore seems appropriate to conclude this seasonal message with a fittingly festive “Happy Halloween” from your favourite Stone Age guitarist and founder of CRAVE Guitars, The CRAVEman. Rock On!
“There are misfortunes in life that no one will accept; people would rather believe in the supernatural and the impossible” – Alexander Dumas (1802‑1870)
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’
In keeping with the theme of this month’s article, I thought I’d delve into one of the landmark American bands that went to extreme lengths to introduce inventive soundscapes to their music. The band in question made extensive use of heavily modified guitars, alternative tunings and abused effect pedals to produce oodles of off‑the‑wall clamour. The band I’m talking about is Sonic Youth from New York who went out of their way to sound like no other band around at the time. They formed in 1980 and, sadly, after over 30 years, they disbanded in 2011. During those three decades, the main three audio terrorists of the band were Thurston Moore, Lee Ranaldo (both on guitar) and Kim Gordon (on bass). They had a string of highly regarded studio albums including ‘Evol’ (1986), ‘Sister’ (1987), ‘Daydream Nation’ (1988), ‘Goo’ (1990), ‘Dirty’ (1992) and ‘Washing Machine’ (1995). However, my choice is not one of these but it is a personal favourite…
Sonic Youth – Sonic Nurse (2004): Sonic Nurse was Sonic Youth’s 13th studio album released in June 2004 on Geffen Records, comprising 10 tracks over an hour’s running time. The cover was designed by renowned American conceptual artist Richard Prince (1949‑). Despite being a lot less well known that their peak period albums, Sonic Nurse is close to where the band would eventually end up. This album was the middle one of a later career resurgance including, ‘Murray Street’ (2002) and ‘Rather Ripped’ (2006). Track one (6:33) is clearly influenced, fittingly so, by acclaimed American‑Canadian author, William Gibson’s cyberpunk novel, ‘Pattern Recognition’ (2003).
Sonic Youth – Sonic Nurse (2004)
Basically, any of the albums mentioned here can provide a great insight into what the band could do and fans will all have their own favourite. It just so happens that Sonic Nurse is mine. Even their very early albums (not mentioned here) have a great deal going for them. Naturally, there are inconsistencies but, over their career, those lesser albums were also better than most others in the experimental alternative noise rock genre. Turn up the volume and listen to the aural mayhem on show at your peril.
Alas, Sonic Youth fell apart in October 2011 following the separation of Moore and Gordon, after 27 years of marriage. The band’s influence and legacy has been profound in modern rock music and they deserve to be admired and respected for ploughing their own unique furrow throughout their career, rather than capitulating to studio mundanity for the sake of commercial success. Despite the hopes of many loyal fans, the band has, to‑date, not reunited and its status is officially ‘in hiatus’.
BELIEVE IN MUSIC!
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses” – Abraham Lincoln (1809‑1865)
Tailpiece
As usual, I’m at a loss for what to do next month but I’m sure I’ll think of something. It is getting harder to come up with different material, so I hope you’ll bear with me. Once the quality starts dropping off, I’ll have to call it a day but I don’t think the time has come just yet. You may think otherwise, of course! I don’t want to outstay my welcome. That’s it. No more in the way of dreary diatribe for this month. The holidays are a‑comin’. Yay!
Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. The CRAVEman, signing off for now. Until next time…
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “Always have great first thoughts, then you’ll never need to have second thoughts”
AHOY THERE MULTITUDINOUS MERRY MATIES! Welcome back to the wild world of CRAVE (Cool & Rare American Vintage Electric) Guitars. I trust that all is well with your part of the world. After a slight summer sabbatical from writing about vintage guitars, you may be pleased to know that we are suitably refreshed, refuelled, and redeployed on what matters this month. The trusty telescope of titular topics is fairly and squarely focused not just on vintage guitars but on CRAVE Vintage Guitars.
At this point, I often spout polemic on the sorry state of ‘humanity’ and the global Anthropocene tragedy entirely of our own making irrevocably unfolding in front of us. Well, I think I’ve made my point often enough for regular visitors. So this month, I will just point you towards the CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’ at the end of this article which, in my view, sums up the whole sorry mess in one short sentence (for a change).
Hopefully, not too many words and lots of images this month. If you are interested, the underlying theme of this month’s quotes is about perception. As always, no AI was used in the writing of this article.
“It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves” – Carl Jung (1875‑1961)
Collecting and Collections Revisited
Going back to May 2025, CRAVE Guitars published an article about, ‘The Compulsion to Collect Vintage Guitars’. That article kicked off thoughts not solely about collecting but also about what constitutes a collection and how we might think about things slightly differently. If you wish to go back to the previous article on CRAVE Guitars’ collecting and collections, follow the link below (opens in a new tab). May 2025 – The Compulsion to Collect Vintage Guitars
Like most other sources, whether retail, curatorial or showcase, CRAVE Guitars tends to group vintage guitars by brand (e.g. Fender, Gibson, etc.), then by model in (e.g. Stratocaster, Telecaster, Les Paul, SG, etc.) both in alphabetic order and by date (e.g. 1965, 1972, 1984, etc.). Fundamentally, brand, model and date tends to be the standard methodology for categorising vintage guitars, at least on a broad level. The same catalogue system also applies to basses, effects and amps. CRAVE Guitars is no different. Take a look at the feature or gallery pages on the web site and that is exactly how vintage gear is listed. It makes sense and is widely accepted. It is also how I search for vintage gear in which I might be interested. Take a look at other web sites or library resources and it’s the same. For instance, check out, ‘Gruhn’s Guide to Vintage Guitars’ (1999) or the annual, ‘The Official Vintage Guitar Magazine Price Guide’ and it is the primary method of presentation.
“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream” – Edgar Allan Poe (1809‑1849)
Collections within a Collection
So far, so good. However, it isn’t the only way of looking at things. Back in June and July this year (2025), I posted a series of CRAVE Guitar (and CRAVE Basses) montages on social media, which I described at the time as ‘collections within a collection’. Some of these selections were very obvious, others less so. One approach was to look at variations in a particular model over the years. Another was to look at similar types of model (but different name). It became the entry point into alternative perspectives that formed the catalyst for this month’s article. As a quick reminder, here is the entire, small but perfectly formed, CRAVE Guitars’ ‘collection’ as of 2025.
The permutations shown in this article do include some repetition because models may appear in more than one grouping. Fair enough. Go with the flow and I hope it will make sense. I have stuck fairly and squarely to CRAVE Guitars – it would be more coherent to stray into non‑CRAVE Guitars but that approach attracts many other issues, such as copyright and a significant broadening of scope.
I could go on, pontificating about the whys and wherefores, but that almost seems redundant, as the best way of explaining it is with the images themselves. That’s also good for me in that I can spare some time for writing other things.
“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception” – Aldous Huxley (1894‑1963)
Mini Collections
So, what constitutes a mini‑collection? More than one of something. Simple. There are probably innumerable permutations of mini collections within the overall total. CRAVE Guitars, at the time of writing, has a number of guitars, basses, effects and amps (don’t ask, I don’t keep track). Most of those are vintage (ditto), depending on how one might define ‘vintage’. However, that particular conundrum is not the subject of this article.
Social media is where this idea started and it will unfold here as a sequence of steps. It isn’t practical to wade back through hundreds/thousands of social media posts, so this makes all that previous effort more accessible and in one place. So, without further ado, time to get pictorial with twenty four ‘collections within a collection’. I hope you enjoy the show…
“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit” – Ansel Adams (1902‑1984)
Fender Brand Mini Collections
Some of you might know my predilection for student guitars and also single pickup guitars. The relevant Fender model names don’t help with coherency, so I found a way of bringing them together. By the early 1980s, Fender had replaced its core ‘student’ guitars (first generation) with other budget models (second generation). Not a popular move with enthusiasts or collectors. These are sometimes labelled, the ‘forgotten Fenders’.
That initial notion led onto collating a brace of Fender’s wonderful high‑end offset guitars (currently oh‑so popular with indie and alternative guitarists) and then Fender’s often‑overlooked (criminally so, in my view), semi‑acoustic electrics. NB. Yes, I know that some Fender student guitars (see above) are also offsets but there is enough to differentiate them for this article.
Then, I strayed into Fender’s core ‘pro‑level’ guitar models – Stratocasters and Telecasters, which also demonstrate evolution of the instruments over time.
Not wishing to leave out CRAVE Basses, there is only one collection‑within‑a‑collection.
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Fender Bass Guitars (3) – Top‑bottom: 1989 Fender Jazz Bass American Standard Longhorn, 1978 Fender Musicmaster Bass, 1977 Fender Precision Fretless Bass
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth” – Marcus Aurelius (121‑180)
Gibson Brand Mini Collections
Having pretty much covered most of the Fender variations, I turned my sights onto Gibson guitars, starting off, again, with their underrated student guitars that, once more demonstrate evolution of the instruments over time.
Gibson’s long history started off with acoustic and then semi‑acoustic guitars categorised by the company as Gibson’s ES (Electric Spanish) models. Over the years, the ES lines evolved.
Gibson’s entry into solid body electrics started with the Les Paul Model, so here are CRAVE Guitars’ Gibson Les Pauls. In addition, there were also several Gibson models that used the Les Paul outline but weren’t actual LPs.
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Gibson Les Paul Guitars (4) – Top‑bottom: 1975 Gibson Les Paul Standard, 1977 Gibson Les Paul Deluxe Gold Top, 1989 Gibson Les Paul Standard, 1989 Gibson Les Paul Custom
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Gibson Les Paul‑shaped but non‑Les Paul Guitars (3) – Top‑bottom: 1961 Gibson Melody Maker D, 1977 Gibson L6‑S Deluxe, 1981 Gibson Sonex‑180 Deluxe
In the early 1960s, Gibson replaced the Les Paul with the devilishly pointy‑horned SG (Solid Guitar).
From the late 1950s, Gibson went through a highly creative phase, including their innovative alternative ranges, including Flying Vs, Explorers and Firebirds…
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Gibson Flying V Guitars (2) – Top‑bottom: 1980 Gibson Flying V2, 1984 Gibson Flying V Designer Series
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Gibson Explorer Guitars (5) – Top‑bottom: 1979 Gibson Explorer E2, 1982 Gibson Explorer CMT, 1983 Gibson Explorer 83, 1984 Gibson Explorer Custom Shop, 1984 Gibson Explorer Designer Series ‘Union Jack’
Through the years, Gibson also strayed into other creatively designed models, some more radical and aesthetically pleasing than others.
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Gibson ‘Oddity’ Guitars (4) – Top‑bottom: 1983 Gibson Corvus II, 1982 Gibson Moderne Korina Heritage, 1981 Gibson RD Artist, 1983 Gibson USA Map
“Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing” – Camille Pissarro (1830‑1903)
Other Brand Mini Collections
Having covered the main two major competitors, there are some of the other well‑known vintage guitar brands. For instance, during the 1950s and 1960s, Danelectro made guitars under their own name as well as for Sears, Roebuck & Co, under the Silvertone brand name.
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Danelectro‑built Danelectro and Silvertone Guitars (3) – Top‑bottom: 1963 Danelectro Pro 1, 1959 Silvertone 1304, 1964 Silvertone 1449 ‘Amp In Case’
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Music Man Stingrays: Guitar and Bass (2) – Top‑bottom: 1976 Music Man Stingray I, 1978 Music Man Stingray Bass
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage Paul Reed Smith (PRS) (2) – Top‑bottom: 1989 Paul Reed Smith Classic Electric (CE), 1988 Paul Reed Smith Standard
“What we see depends mainly on what we look for” – John Lubbock (1834‑1913)
Other – Best of the Rest Mini Collections
Finally, all CRAVE Guitars are Made‑in‑USA, it only makes sense that some manufacturers would want to promote their country of origin in guitar form. CRAVE Guitars is fortunate enough to have not just one but two vintage guitars made in the outline of the lower 48 United States (sorry Alaska and Hawaii).
CRAVE Guitars’ Vintage USA‑shaped Guitars (2) ‑ Top‑bottom: 1983 Gibson USA Map, 1962 National Glenwood 95
That leaves some other CRAVE Guitars not easily grouped, e.g. Epiphone, Guild, Kramer, Ovation, Peavey and Rickenbacker. Kudos to these great vintage guitars. However, for the sake of completeness, here are what was left over from the initial concept. A non‑collection‑within‑a‑collection if you will.
Wow! That is pretty much it for this article. I am certain that you may be able to think of other ways in which these great guitars can be viewed. I think you will agree that this perspective goes to demonstrate and showcase a wide range from the classic conventional and traditional to the freaky, weird and wonderful, celebrating the novel diversity of CRAVE Guitars.
“One moment the world is as it is. The next, it is something entirely different. Something it has never been before” – Anne Rice (1941‑2021)
Final Thoughts on Vintage Guitar Collections within A Collection
My main comment at this point is that CRAVE Guitars’ total collection probably isn’t large enough to make this a really interesting topic, for which I apologise. The capacity of The CRAVEcave is severely limited, so the collection has reached its maximum size for the time being (The CRAVEcap). This isn’t through lack of ambition on my part, simply the inevitable practical constraints of space and funds. Darn it.
Looking at things in this way, it confirms that I have a particular penchant for Fender Telecasters and Gibson Explorers, of which there are five each. These were followed by Fender Stratocasters, Gibson Les Pauls and Gibson Melody Makers of which there are four each. Unsurprisingly, that fits pretty well with my own feelings about favourite guitars. I would (obviously?) like a few more ‘obscure’ American guitars. Who wouldn’t? Every guitar addict needs that irresistible next fix. So many gaps to fill, so, so many! Sadly though, any expansion of brands and/or models is going to have to wait for a while.
As a reminder, there are full features on the web site for each of the CRAVE Guitars and CRAVE Basses featured here. Also on the web site are separate features on all the brands featured here. There are simply too many links to list in an article, so you’ll have to do a bit of work for yourself if you want to delve deeper into the brands and/or the models.
“There are no facts, only interpretations” – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844‑1900)
The groupings featured in this article are just a few permutations of how collections can be viewed. There are many more ways of doing it. For instance, they could be grouped by:
Decade – 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, etc.
Model type – Custom, Standard, Junior, Special, Deluxe, etc.
Tone wood – Mahogany, maple, alder, ash, composite, etc.
Fingerboard type – rosewood, ebony, maple, composite, etc.
Pickup type – single coil, humbucker, other, etc.
Colour – sunburst, blue, red, gold, white, black, natural, etc.
Provenance – guitars with known owners
As far as CRAVE Guitars wider reach and influence goes, there are also themed image series based around photographic style, including:
Instagram vignettes (x2 series)
Floorboard guitars (1x series)
US flag guitars (x2 series)
Close up guitars (x2 series)
I tend to use these alternative image series on social media as a counterpoint to the web site images. They don’t appear on the web site (just to mix things up a bit). All these different perspectives supplement and complement the standard ‘signature’ purple background guitars used for consistency of presentation on the CRAVE Guitars’ web site. The collections within collections featured in this article also don’t appear on web site pages.
In conclusion, there many different ways of looking at the same instruments, way too many to cover without going full nerd. Given the small scale and scope of CRAVE Guitars, to do all that would become highly repetitive and dull, so I know when it’s time to stop.
The same approach can be taken for CRAVE Effects and that will form the basis of Part II of this mini‑series next month. As far as CRAVE Amps go, there are simply too few to make something from it (at the moment).
“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions” – Stephen R. Covey (1932‑2012)
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’
Regular readers will know that over many years, I have become increasingly enamoured with reggae and, particularly dub and roots reggae. While these genres peaked in the mid‑1970s, they are still alive and well in the 21st Century. I covered the musical history of reggae in my August 2023 article, ‘Dub Reggae Revelation’ for those who might be interested in exploring reggae and its context on the global stage. This month’s accolade is from the mainstream of reggae and remains readily available…
Johnny Clarke – ‘Rockers Time Now’ (1976): ‘Rockers Time Now’ was the 8th studio album released in 1976 by the Jamaican singer and musician Johnny Clarke (1955‑). While a lot of Clarke’s material during the 1970s flirted dangerously close to the scourge of pop reggae, rather than deeper dread or conscious roots, ‘Rockers Time Now’ has an abundance of great reggae tracks that have stood the test of time. I am not going to apologise for appreciating this album and it gets regular repeat listening. Clarke often gets dismissed by reggae snobs, unjustifiably so in my opinion. I admit that there is some ‘easy listening’ filler amongst the great Rastafarian reggae tracks. I hope history re‑appraises Johnny Clarke at his best. Great music for summer chilling and worth tracking down.
It may not be the greatest reggae album of all time but it’s one that helped me get through the summer of 2025. Equally interesting is another Johnny Clarke studio album from the same year, ‘Authorized Version’ (1976). There are several reggae artists that I include in this particular domain, including the late, great Keith Hudson (1946‑1984) – a personal favourite. While Johnny Clarke will often be associated with other popular reggae artists such as Dennis Brown, Freddie McGregor and Gregory Isaacs (all three a lot better than their popular chart hits might suggest), he does stand out for his material.
I have found that reggae music in all its diverse forms is a great genre to have playing in the background while thinking and writing. This is probably the last reggae ‘album of the month’ for this year as we head into cooler, darker times, although I believe it can raise the spirits at any time.
BELIEVE IN MUSIC!
“Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!” – Oscar Wilde (1854‑1900) NB. Often incorrectly attributed to Florence McLandburgh.
Tailpiece
There you go, back to vintage guitars, at least for this month. I hope you enjoyed this particular cabinet of curious CRAVE Guitars, which you’ve seen before but not perhaps in this format. Next time, we’ll return to the overall theme of this article but with the focus on CRAVE Effects. I hope you’ll come back for the floor‑based sequel.
Without further ado, it is time to move onto other things, nothing more to see here. For now. Have a great October 2025 folks, as the autumn season sets in for this year (at least up here in the northern hemisphere).
Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. The CRAVEman, signing off for now. Until next time…
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “The only obliteration justified by war is the obliteration of war itself”
HEYYY, YO, WASSUP, HI Y’ALL, G’DAY, SALUTATIONS, howdy‑doody, henlo, aloha, Namaste, how’s it hangin’, salut, top o’ the morning, salaam, hey there, ahoy, ‘ello, ciao, greetings, etc. One hopes you’re all chipper this late August 2025 (NB. The first documented use of the noun ‘chipper’, meaning upbeat and cheerful, is from the ‘Boke of Keruynge’ (1508) – The Book of Carving – by publisher Wynkyn de Worde, a Tudor handbook for how to behave at court). Nowt to do with contemporary man‑eating wood chippers a la the film, ‘Fargo’ (1996) or even, ‘Tucker & Dale Vs Evil’ (2010)! I digress, as usual. Good to know some things never change. I bid you welcome, once more.
I was tempted to rant on (again) about the dire state of global politics and conflicts. However, I felt another polemic could disproportionately and negatively affect the overall tone of the article, so I will refrain. Regular readers will already know my views, so there is little to be gained from restating them here (again). Peace & Love, people.
This month’s article bears no direct relation to last month’s introduction of ‘The CRAVEman Cometh’ spinoff. However, there is a tenuous parallel in the pure imaginary creations of the contorted cavities of CRAVEs creative cerebellum. The subject matter this month is not entirely new but it is an expansion of previously hinted at material. It is also only tangentially relevant to vintage guitars, which means I am continuing on a fictional summer sabbatical at CRAVE Guitars for the second month running. Apologies to vintage guitar aficionados.
For this article, I return to the subject of the draft novel, ‘The Distortion Diaries’. Given that the potential book is the focus of this article, there deserves to be quite a bit of new material to explore. Expect a plentiful portion of pompous prose.
“For aren’t memories the true ghosts of our lives?” – Stephen King (1947)
Previously… on ‘The Distortion Diaries’
Several times now, I have intimated in the public domain that there was the potential for a fictional vanity side project. This was first implied at, way back in December 2023. At that time I wrote… “I felt an irresistible urge to write a fiction novel. Its status is currently work‑in‑progress. It will be called, ‘The Distortion Diaries’ (remember, you read it here first).” So, here we are, some 20 months on and the evolution of the tome is probably best be described as slow but steady.
However, while the novel has been referenced in subsequent articles, it has not yet been the main focus of a blog. So, I thought this month I would set the matter straight and take another brief diversion from the world of vintage guitars and put this long‑gestating idea centre stage. Why? Because I can.
In order to give the book’s narrative a bit more authenticity, I embarked on writing my own journal (well over 600 days into the real thing and counting). While there are some notable differences between a journal and a diary, ‘The Distortion Journals’ doesn’t have an alliterative ring to it (and you know how much I like to alliterate). The process of writing about events and random thoughts on a daily basis gives a valuable insight into the fictional diary of the novel’s main character. The rhythm, reflection and routine of writing the real thing helps with the introspective compositional style of the fabricated story. Very method! Pretentious? Most probably but not deliberately.
Back in 2023, I was very used to writing in various forms but, as I quickly found out, a fiction novel is a completely different proposition. Everything I had learned counted for very little. After an intense period of inexperienced book writing during the first half of 2024, the first draft had been completed, if not finished (there is a subtle difference). Then things were put on hold for a considerable period due to other things going on in ordinary life that took priority over writing. It was in October 2024 that I took the bold step to reveal the idea as part of the monthly article published that month. If you want to revisit that article as a preamble to this month’s update, click on the link below (opens in a new tab). In fact, I would recommend reading the relevant part of that blog in order for the rest of this article to make sense, as I don’t want to repeat material from 10 months ago here, unless absolutely necessary for coherency.
For once, all this month’s quotes from here on in are not attributed to real people. Rather they are some of the main character’s observations about life. They may or may not make the cut for the finished product. He likes to think he is wise but an innate creative conceit may mask fallible foolishness. You decide.
In order to make a little bit more time for writing the novel, rather than write about writing the novel, I will try to keep this relatively brief (for me).
“Humans are hopelessly self-destructive. No matter how hard we try, we are addicted to those things that will ultimately destroy us” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
Brief Update on ‘The Distortion Diaries’
Back in October 2024, I suggested that the author’s real name will not be used if the novel ever gets published. Instead, it will be credited to a pseudonym. The nom de plume (NB. literal French for ‘pen name’) has been carefully selected to conceal my identity, gender, location and genre. I am reluctant to reveal my unique pseudonym at this time in case someone else appropriates it before publication. Paranoid? Me?
In last month’s article, I introduced the front man for CRAVE Guitars, The CRAVEman. The objective for CRAVE Guitars is that it is the instruments that deserve the attention, not the proprietor, hence the alter ego. The same applies for The Distortion Diaries – it is the fictional characters that should have all the attention, not the author. In case you were wondering, the book will not be credited to The CRAVEman, although I must admit that I was tempted for a very short moment. Given that his vocabulary extends only as far as “Grunt!”, it didn’t seem appropriate for authorship.
Even though I am writing about it here, my intention is to ensure that CRAVE Guitars and The Distortion Diaries are discrete entities and fully independent of each other, if only to preserve the integrity of both, hence my diffident anonymity. I do not care for either fame or fortune. I just want to be the best me that I can be (d’ya follow?) and that means making CRAVE Guitars and The Distortion Diaries as successful as they can be, even if that success is measured only by the unassertive existence of both, irrespective of me (the only common denominator between the two).
“What mysteries lie in the names we are given? How would our lives be different under another name, another identity?” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
The book’s cover art has also been prepared in early draft and not finalised. Last time I wrote on the subject, the main narrative was just a standard Microsoft Word document (for functional convenience). The fonts have been chosen, the layout firmed up and the whole thing has now been reformatted in book form. These are all minor but essential administrative tasks.
Artificial Intelligence (AI) has NOT been used in any way for the book’s text – it is 100% my work, for good or bad. For once, though, I concede that AI has been used to prepare the basis for some of the draft images for The Distortion Diaries. Furthermore, AI did not produce the final images, just as a basis for further graphic manipulation. Whether the AI artwork makes it to the final product, we’ll have to wait and see.
So what has or hasn’t changed since October 2024? Fundamentally, not a lot. Sigh. Progress has, however, been made. If it hadn’t, there would be little point in writing this article. Enough expositional preamble. To business…
“The abundance of social company does not prevent the aching loneliness of the individual without a Girlfriend” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
The Main Premise of ‘The Distortion Diaries’
As a reminder, having said that I don’t want to repeat the October 2024 article, the synopsis is an exception to that particular rule. To reiterate, the summary was (and still is):
“The Distortion Diaries
Terry plays in a band. He doesn’t have a Girlfriend. He hasn’t had a Girlfriend for some time. Terry has a dreary job in IT. He lives alone with his feline overlord. One day, Terry decides to document his wretched existence in a journal. Rather than the journal reflecting and recording Terry’s lacklustre life, the journal begins to change it. A Lot. Is Terry’s life pre‑determined by fate or is his destiny in his own hands? Only his journal knows.
Based on a false story”
The synopsis remains relevant and unchanged (bar one word), even after a long period of reflection and having survived its first serious edit in April‑May this year (2025). That alone, is encouraging – that the original core idea remains largely unaffected. Thank goodness for small mercies.
I suggested in last year’s article that the book’s genre leaning is “a rom-sex-com-music-bio-mystery-drama-thriller-fantasy about contemporary man’s eternally favourite tripartite – sex, drugs and rock & roll”. Like the synopsis, that also remains unchanged. It is definitely not one for the politically correct woke crowd out there. I reserve the right to express free speech. Don’t agree with it, go read something else.
That’s really all you need to know at the moment. On the surface, the premise seems straightforward enough (a coming‑of‑middle‑age drama) and the structure (a chronological record) is a well‑worn story telling mechanism. So if the proposition and arrangement are (admittedly) clichéd, why bother? What makes this special or different? Why should it stand out from every other decidedly dreary ‘dear diary’ diatribe? Well, it’s the execution of the plot that I hope will entice, amuse, surprise and satisfy.
“I don’t want to be a character in a story, I want to be the storyteller” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
The Main Characters of ‘The Distortion Diaries’
Essentially, the concept revolves around eight individuals living in a fair sized town in the English West Country with the nearest large city being Bristol. The time period covered in the novel is 200 days over the summer of 2012.
The main character, as mentioned above, is Terence Wilder, aged 32. Wilder by name, not by nature. He is an IT specialist working in a dead end job for an anonymous company. Music is Terry’s major motivation in the absence of anything profoundly diverting – like a Girlfriend. He knows that something has to change, so he decides to start recording his life and thoughts in the titular diary. It is only a small change of routine but one that has major repercussions for Terry and those around him.
Terry is a founding member and guitarist with his band called The Imaginary Transtemporal Affair (TITA for short). The band’s name deriving loosely from a line in ‘The Peripheral’ (2014), a novel by ‘cyberpunk’ author, William Gibson (1948‑). The band has been together for a while and the bonds between the members is strong. Terry’s band mates are Xavier (guitar), Hector (bass) and John (drums). The band eschews the easy route of a cover or tribute band and battles with integrity to make their own multi‑/cross‑genre musical style they call HMSPGSALFGGSR (for short!) – you’ll have to read the full narrative to know what it stands for. Their debut studio album, ‘TITA Om Fyah’ is in incubation, as of 2012 (see ‘album of the month’ below).
“I thought of going full mullet. However, I don’t think it would be a good strategy for attracting a Girlfriend” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
The other three main characters provide the gender counterpoint to the band and, possibly, the catalyst for change. They are Olivia, Dakota and Alley. If you spotted that that only totals seven, you win a gold star. The eighth key character is Terry’s possibly supernatural ginger comrade and confidante, Kwat with whom Terry shares those things he can’t divulge to other humans. If you haven’t already guessed, Terry is Kwat’s human. Kwat exercises total dominion over Terry, just as it should be in the natural order of things.
After undertaking an in‑depth deep FBI‑style psychological analysis of the main characters, I can share with you a detailed profile of each of them. Apologies that the descriptions are so lengthy – these are inherently complex people:
Terry – unexceptional
Xavier – ambitious
Hector – debauched
John – mellow
Olivia – introverted
Dakota – intense
Alley – promiscuous
Kwat – numinous
OK, so I lied. Sue me. If you want to know more about them, then you’ll just have to wait. Soz. The dynamic interplay between these eight and the tertiary cast provide the core foundation of the yarn. You may get to like them. To say any more at this stage would be to provide too much of an insight into the concept and to render the actual narrative moot. Again, I want to tease you and dangle bait on a proverbial hook, not give everything away for nothing.
That’s really all I want you to know at the moment. The only other miniscule hint I will give away is that I will be manipulating the reader intentionally to subvert expectations (hopefully). All may or may not be what it seems. Beneath the surface, the tale could provide a profound existential observation, it all depends on how you want to approach it.
“I don’t want to be famous, I want to be good” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
The Plot of ‘The Distortion Diaries’
Nah! Not a chance! For the actual details of the storyline, you’ll have to wait and see when it’s completed and, hopefully, published. In the meantime, I will have to keep you on tenterhooks (NB. Not the literal meaning – hooks used to fasten cloth on a drying frame, called a tenter – dates from c.1633. The metaphorical meaning applies – to be in a state of uncomfortable suspense, anticipation or impatience). Let’s hope it will be worth the long wait.
Funnily enough, the conclusion of the story came easily, early on in the process, so I didn’t have to try too hard to fabricate a ham‑fisted finale. Maybe I’m not clever enough to pull off a successful denouement but one has to try, hopefully not in vain.
“Life is not a loser competition” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
Some brief excerpts from ‘The Distortion Diaries’
A special treat for you. The following three brief extracts were taken from relatively early in Terry’s journal entries. I don’t pretend that these are representative, they are just passages taken at sort of random. Due to liberal profanity and potential spoilers, there wasn’t that much that could be used in this article. I hope, though, that you get a sense of the style. Please bear in mind that these are from the first post‑edit draft and may well change (considerably) by the time the completed novel has been put to bed. After this article has been published, I intend to focus on the next substantial edit.
Excerpt from Day 1:
“Nothing happened today. Nothing is going to happen today. Nothing always does. This is my life. My real life. Not some made up life. Well, my life from today onwards. For however long that may be. The future has to start sometime and this journal will testify to my part in it. It is MY unique account, not anyone else’s. What went before is undocumented, available only from a fragile memory residing somewhere between then and the here and now.
This story is my mediocre, futile and fleeting folly of a presence on this small sapphire sphere floating in infinite black nothingness, with just our small saffron sun to warm and illuminate our existence. The 30 trillion or so cells that represent my entire body occupy an infinitesimally small place on this infinitesimally small space pebble.
…
“Hello Diary” (there, major cliché dispensed with). I bought you a few months ago, intending to fill your vacant leaves with exciting and interesting news about my run‑of‑the‑mill, mediocre life, mixed with the inevitable moments of whimsy, melancholy and pathos. Add oodles of hopefully hilarious humour. Ha‑ha. Don’t forget the counterpoint of joy, that of inevitable tragedy. I wouldn’t be into music if I wasn’t one of those sensitive animals with a severely damaged heart that pours their emotional baggage into the waiting cup of enchanted music.
It’s taken a while to get around to this because, well, that’s just me. I take time to get around to things. It’s not like I’m a professional procrastinator. Honest. I may dawdle a little on occasion but that can conceivably also be a virtue. Possibly.
‘They’ say the best things come to those that wait. That, of course, is bollocks. The best things come to those that go out and grab the great stuff first. The derisory dregs of detritus get left behind for the likes of me, one of the ones that wait. Adult real life, it has to be said, has turned out to be a big disappointment after the false promises of youthful expectation.”
Excerpt from Day 19:
“It was with irrational anticipation that I crawled out of bed feeling decidedly enervated in the outlandish world that is pre‑noon on a werkend. Why? The vain hope of seeing or even meeting the attractive young Lady I sort of ‘encountered’ at Everwax Records last week. As the veil of consciousness lifted, I became increasingly alert, as unheralded adrenalin flowed through my bloodstream. My pulse accelerated, my pupils dilated, my skin tingled and I felt jittery. The innate impulse for fight or flight didn’t seem appropriate. Contrary to my usual cynical demeanour, I was actually looking forward to going out. This is what the lack of a Girlfriend feels like.
Firstly, She might not even go to the record store at all. I have no idea whether She’s even local or not. Secondly, She might go to the shop when I’m not there. Thirdly, even if all the stars aligned and She is there at the same time as me, there is no guarantee that we will engage in any sort of meaningful interaction. Fourthly, and possibly finally, even if that unlikely linear sequence of events actually occurred, there’s no guarantee that such an interaction would prove positive. Having studied logic, probability, statistics and the science of BIG numbers as part of my degree, the odds were stacked heavily against me. However, irrational random anticipation overrules any sort of calculated common sense. Good job I don’t gamble.
And so it turned out. We, the band, dutifully deposited ourselves in Everwax Records at the usual time – the same time that She was there last week – and… She wasn’t there this week.”
Excerpt from Day 32:
“Yay! BIG gig day at The Lost Inn’s ‘dungeon’. I really don’t know why I’m making such a BIG thing out of it. We’ve done loads of gigs before, thirty or forty or so over the last couple of years. By the time we felt that TITA had potential, we already had a few public performances under our collective belts. We hadn’t documented our beginnings very well, which is a shame for my late life autobiography. Best laid plans of hindsight, eh.
I think the reason that this particular gig has gained some extra significance might be because writing about it in my journal helps me to focus and put everything in context. Articulating my thoughts provides me with some clarity previously masked amidst the dissonance of day‑to‑day disorder. Whatever it is that is happening, I am not complaining. Maybe this Diary thing has some motivational value after all.
…
As usual with gigs, once you get on stage, everything becomes an automatic blur. I can’t remember anything about our playing other than the odd bum note sticking out like a sore thumb (to us). It felt like we executed the whole set list in about five minutes. Actually, it was just over an hour but it felt like five minutes. There was no room for self‑indulgent virtuoso showmanship, it’s all about telepathic togetherness and sonic synergy. The feedback from the audience was pretty good and spurred us on. That’s what it’s all about, the reciprocal energy loop. We were stoked. TITA rules, at least in the moment.”
There you go, three snippets for the price of none. Just for clarity, the misspellings and capitalisation of the excerpts are entirely intentional and are a running theme throughout the full chronicle. You may well recognise the similarity of florid flair when comparing the book extracts with CRAVE Guitars’ articles.
That, I am afraid, is all you’re going to get for now. My motive is to provide a teaser with no obvious giveaways to spoil anything. I can only hope this modest modicum of extracts has marginally piqued your curiosity.
“The unpleasant astringent miasma permeated the empty concert hall at The Lost Inn; sweat, stale beer and a mix of other best-left unidentifiable fluids, saturated every pore” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
The Good News about ‘The Distortion Diaries’
Being positive, the general premise has hardly changed at all. The synopsis hasn’t changed in the slightest. The protagonists have been fleshed out. Also, the first edit proved that the first draft was pretty much on point, a fact that genuinely surprised me.
Another positive is the strength of the character development and the interrelationships between the main characters. Being hopelessly deluded, there is also a decent ending, a problem faced by far too many novels (and films). All too often, everything is very neatly tied up rendering the resolution unbelievable. Also, far too many stories/plots have a weak ending because decent conclusions are not easy to concoct. No cheap tricks here. When it comes to real life, a person’s experience starts and ends long before and after the period over which the story has been told. The Distortion Diaries covers a defined short period of time in the much longer lives of these 8+ defective characters, so don’t expect perfection. You’ll have to work for satisfaction and fulfilment, but not too hard.
Again, being vain and conceited, I was very surprised that it actually seems to work as a whole and I actually enjoyed reading it while also working on it. I hope that’s a good sign.
“I want to get better at life and then maybe life will get better for me” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
I also have far more material than the story warrants. This provides a great opportunity to ‘overdo’ it and then to execute a brutal edit to leave the strongest core possible. Only then, I hope, will the final cut be robust enough to stand up to scrutiny.
Another positive is that it doesn’t seem to be overly derivative. Yes, there are universal truths about the human condition that have been covered in infinite variety over centuries (and therefore unavoidable here), so it cannot possibly be classified as original or unique. However, I believe it is a fairly fresh approach that doesn’t stick to every storytelling rule that has been complied with before.
While there is little scope for a sequel (or prequel), there are opportunities for a couple of spin‑off stories with which my feeble grey matter has been toying. These ideas are not about Terry but other strange and very different fables. I won’t contemplate putting finger to keyboard on any of those until this one had been done to death. The curse of a fickle creative mind. A lot will depend on how ‘successful’ The Distortion Diaries is, when it has finally been concluded.
“The second best thing that can happen to a man is a good woman. The best that can happen to a man, however, is a bad woman. The worst thing that can happen to a man is no woman” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
The Not So Good News about ‘The Distortion Diaries’
Principally, the project has taken far too long to bring to fruition, which has been a constant frustration over the months. The gestation period has become tiresome, as it isn’t my ‘day job’. This isn’t because of lack of enthusiasm or interest; it has been a purely practical failing on my part to prioritise it sufficiently in the face of other unavoidable responsibilities.
I have now accepted that it is a slow process and have become less anxious about progress. It will take its own time and it will probably be better for it. I cannot afford the mental stress of pressuring myself to do it quicker. Better late than never, as ‘they’ say.
Then there are the practical hurdles. An independent editor would no doubt improve the end product. However, I do not want anyone else to change anything. I do not want it to be perfectly polished. I actually want it to be rough around the edges. I don’t want it to be like every other highly processed piece of prose. I want my own mistakes to be present in it; the many apparent flaws are an integral part of its charm, just as a genuine journal would be. These are imperfect people and they should be seen distorted through Terry’s defective lens. I want it to come across as if Terry had actually lived to tell his tale his way. I do not know of a single genuine diary or journal that has been crawled over by editors and proof readers to eradicate inconsistencies and errors. It is a bit like museum grade vintage guitars, something can be ‘too good’ to enjoy.
Another hurdle is self‑publication. I have absolutely no idea how to go about it. I have limited funds, so I cannot pay for someone to do it on my behalf. I also do not want to go through the ordeal of pleading to agents for attention with the associated high risk of rejection – my fragile ego couldn’t cope being subject to the critical whims of others not invested in the project. Neither do I want the end product to be managed beyond my ability to influence the outcome. As a bit of a control freak (Ed: No kidding!), I don’t appreciate being beholden to anyone else. Such interference is simply unacceptable to me. I really do not give a damn about what agents, publishers and editors think. They can make their parasitical living off someone else. I only care what I think and what genuine readers might think, warts ‘n’ all.
So, even if I get over the hurdle of writing, editing, agents and publishing, then there are the formidable challenges of printing, marketing, distribution, sales and promotion. Everything about the whole process is set against this being any sort of success, regardless of any literary merit. Even if it is a worthy story, it could fail at any of these key points.
The Distortion Diaries is a personal folly and commercial success is not a prerequisite for a satisfactory outcome. If only one or two people read it and get some ephemeral pleasure from it, I shall be content. My aspirations in this regard are very modest and humble. A bit like my ambitions for CRAVE Guitars as an undertaking.
As previously mentioned, I did toy with the idea of serialising The Distortion Diaries on the CRAVE Guitars’ web site. However, it wouldn’t really work and it would blur the lines between the two discrete ‘projects’. The novel’s material is also not appropriate for a vintage guitar showcase. So, that is not gonna happen. Decided.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had my heart broken. It really doesn’t sound like it’s something I’d want to try out” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
Final Thoughts about ‘The Distortion Diaries’
You may have gathered that I remain excited about this particularly narcissistic venture. The fact that the enthusiasm has endured since December 2023 without waning in the slightest suggests that there is something worth pursuing. I remain concerned about two things. The first I have mentioned many times, which is making sufficient time and space to complete the writing process. Put simply, the more time I spend on article writing, the less time there is for The Distortion Diaries. The second, as mentioned above, is the complications of getting the final product out there for people to judge. In these technological days, it really should be simpler.
One thing I am absolutely certain about is that this is not a literary masterpiece. It will not be ‘a great British novel’. Neither will it be a monotonous churning out of tedious, derivative drivel (Ed: Are you sure about that?). It was never intended to be an exemplar of literary excellence and that has not changed. However, it is a heartfelt and genuine attempt to be a bit different and to produce something that may be of moderate interest to others. While it breaks many rules, it isn’t revolutionary. It is what it is, an earnest first attempt.
I have mentioned before, and need to reiterate now, that this dedicated ‘labour of love’ (NB. an idiom that has been used to describe various forms of artistic expressions. Its first appearance in English was in the King James Bible, published in 1611, although it may have originated in pre‑medieval times), is NOT autobiographical. It is, though, impossible not to draw, and to isolate the final product, from one’s own life experiences.
Another thing about writing this month’s article was, once again, to test the waters, to challenge my own notions and to reinforce my beliefs about whether this is something I want to dedicate a serious amount of time to. The act of writing about it is, in itself, a reality check and I am pleased to say that it has passed scrutiny without serious mishap (so far). I am still reticent and uncertain about how to turn a good intention into a great reality.
One might wonder why I want to publish a fiction novel in the first place. That’s a difficult question to answer. None of the oft‑used reasons – and there may be dozens of them – resonate with me, such as a desire for storytelling, personal growth, confidence building, compulsion, social impact, sharing, competitiveness, proving something, self‑learning, self‑aggrandisement, income, attention seeking, legacy, etc. Quite simply, it is something that I would like to do. Simples.
Bottom line. Will it ever see the light of day? I hope so, ceteris paribus, but probably not. This article is intended to commit myself to completing the process to the best of my ability or I will look like a complete dumbass for boasting about it and then not delivering. Wish me luck.
If, perchance, it was ever made into a film, the location could conceivably be relocated to somewhere, say, in New England (comprising, Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont).
“The confusing interplay of human emotions and motives – when you think about it – is magnificently messy and chaotic, not at all organised or logical, it is an unreality existing in an artificially real world. There is no universal harmony in life’s experience” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’
Given the subject matter this month, we have to delve into the creative aspects of Terry and his bandmates aspirations. During that fateful year of 2012, The Imaginary Transtemporal Affair (TITA) was working hard on live performance and recording ideas for the first of many albums that they intend to define their career. Entirely a fictional construct, this month’s distorted accolade goes to…
The Imaginary Transtemporal Affair – TITA Om Fyah (2012): The ill‑fated debut studio album from The Imaginary Transtemporal Affair has never been released on TITA Records, although the material exists and the artwork completed (see below). Comprising eight tracks over 72 minutes, the atmospheric aural adventures of unrealised potential evoke a mantra of melancholy and a more than a trace of transcendence. The epic ‘everything lasts for never’ (track 5, running time 6:41) is a firm band and fan favourite. File under HMSPGSALFGGSR music.
If only I had the talent, motivation, drive, skills and time to concoct this album for real, I would do it without hesitation. I wouldn’t change the band name, album title or track list one iota (NB. No, not the 9th letter of the Greek alphabet). It would be great – I have to believe that. For now, progressing the novel is the main focus. One day, maybe the music behind it will be realised. I have a futile fantasy that someone will pick up the book and make it into a film and this album would become the original soundtrack to the movie. Now, precisely where is that fateful Crossroads that blues guitarist Robert Johnson famously made a deal with the devil? In the meantime, while I still have a soul, I can dream.
BELIEVE IN MUSIC!
“The earworm rented out the vacant lot in my brain’s auditory processing, easier to put on repeat than shuffle” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
Tailpiece
Once again, I have regressed into writing about writing, for which I apologise post hoc. While I am genuinely enthusiastic by this egocentric recklessness, I can readily understand why it might be too far off the well‑trod vintage guitar topic to be of interest for CRAVE Guitars’ readers. Further obsequious apologies. Even I need a break from vintage guitars once in a while.
As Terry remarks in, ‘The Distortion Diaries’, “I am only superficial on the surface after all”.
For now, I seem to have run out of ideas for next month’s article but I’m sure I’ll come up with something to distract me from reality for a few minutes. In the meantime, a final word or thirty from ‘The Distortion Diaries’ sagacious hero…
“Engaging with Women of the opposite Sex is a bit like engaging an enemy in strategic warfare. It seems I don’t have even a modest grasp of basic battlefield tactics” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)
For once, CRAVE Guitars’ regular ‘Quote of the Month’ (see below) is extremely relevant to the ambitious subject matter of the main article. I do hope you’ve enjoyed this minor detour in the course of unreal life and that you will come back and ‘see’ me again sometime soon.
Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. The CRAVEman, signing off. Until next time…
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “The finish line may be in sight but is it within reach?”
GRACIOUS GREETINGS FROM YOUR HUMOROULSY HEARTY HOST. Yup. Welcome once again to a freshly minted monthly monologue for late July, high summer in the northern hemispherical portion of our little floating blue sphere. This month is something entirely new (and therefore, by inference, different), as well as a tad flippant. I thought you might like to know a little bit more about the character behind the CRAVE Guitars brand – the founder, owner, proprietor, curator, manager, roadie, mail man, web designer, social media guru, lackey and tea boy. Well, tough, I aim to remain firmly in the background, anonymous and intentionally inscrutable, letting the vintage guitar gear stand proud, front and centre, just it should.
“Everyone needs something to aim for. You can call it a challenge, or you can call it a goal. It is what makes us human. It was challenges that took us from being cavemen to reaching for the stars” – Richard Branson (1950‑)
In my May article, I briefly perplexed about a collective noun for vintage guitar collecting, collectors and vintage guitars. I then suggested that, perhaps, it is time for someone to create a name for vintage guitar collectors, suggesting, somewhat whimsically but definitely not seriously, CRAVE‑o‑holic or CRAVE‑o‑phile? CRAVE‑atalist or CRAVE‑ologist maybe? No? How about Cuitarchivist, Guitarcheologist, Guitarchitect? NB. Full disclosure: admittedly those last three were not my ideas – credit goes to the originators for getting there before me. While that topic isn’t the subject of this month’s article, it did provide some fondly flirtatious food for thought.
However, the thought of an extension of CRAVE Guitars tenacious tentacles into new nooks and crannies occurred to my feeble brainium and led, rather circuitously, to this month’s subject matter. (NB. ‘Nook and cranny’ is a medieval English idiom when castles were built with hidden passages and secret rooms. People would search for small spaces, hiding places or escape routes concealed within castle walls.)
I thought this month’s article would be mercifully brief so that I could concentrate on ‘The Distortion Diaries’. However, as usual, I got distracted by the subject matter and progress on the novel has been slower than article preparation. Sigh.
“Everything has changed, but the process of telling a story has not changed. It’s like cavemen sitting around the fire; somebody’s going to tell the story. Somebody is drawing on the wall. You’re communicating. You’re trying to learn and teach at the same time. You’re your own student and you’re your own teacher, but the process is of the communicating” – Stanley Kubrick (1928‑1999)
Introducing… The CRAVEman Cometh
Prepare your souls for flowery prose. Taking a tangential turn, this month I am introducing my avatar, my double, my alter ego, my twin, my clone, my doppelgänger, my alternate personality (or at least one of them). So, without further ado, it’s time to say “hi” to ‘el jefe’, the prehistorically‑minded guitar‑wielding (axe‑wielding?) titular representative and future front man for CRAVE Guitars; ‘The CRAVEman’. Geddit?
These vestigial thoughts conveniently coincided with a humorous and harmonious messaging exchange with a close friend and the idea of The CRAVEman came to the fore. It was not so much an epiphany, more a lucid realisation that I could justifiably BE someone else, just for CRAVE Guitars’ expanding brand image. Much more interesting than the prospect of boring reality, eh?
“This is a story of long, long ago, when the world was just beginning… A young world, a world early in the morning of time. A hard, unfriendly world. Creatures who sit and wait. Creatures who must kill to live. And man, superior to the creatures only in his cunning” – Narrator from the motion picture, ‘One Million Years B.C.’ (1966)
The CRAVEman moniker wasn’t intended to describe a collective noun, particularly as it is used in the singular, traditionally gender bipartite fashion (apologies to the politically correct woke). However, he was created figuratively to take on the role as your esteemed narrator of CRAVE Guitar blog articles. Thus, a fantastical formulation of an indulgent irrational idea coalesced into coherency.
“There are not many men yet. Just a few tribes scattered across the wilderness. Never venturing far, unaware that other tribes exist even. Too busy with their own lives to be curious. Too frightened of the unknown to wander. Their laws are simple: the strong take everything” – Narrator from the motion picture, ‘One Million Years B.C.’ (1966)
Now, for the avid musicologists out there, the word ‘Craveman’ (note the lack of the definite article and the traditional form of capitalisation) has been used previously (see ‘CRAVE Guitars’ Album of the Month’ below). However, this article’s particular incarnation is, I believe, sufficiently differentiated and unique enough to be adopted legitimately by CRAVE Guitars.
“Visual storytelling of one kind or another has been around since cavemen were drawing on the walls” – Frank Darabont (1959‑)
Evolution of The CRAVEman Cometh
While my true identity remains vehemently enigmatic, I am happy to hide behind a virtual caricature. While I may generally portray myself as a contemporary, relatively evolved metrosexual (male) human bean, the vaguely humorous play on words refers not only to CRAVE Guitars but also to Homo Sapien’s genetic Palaeolithic ancestors. Just for clarification, I don’t believe that I conform to the stereotypical Stone Age clichés of a prehistoric caveman (with or without a guitar). Grunt!
“Nnn?” – The character Loana played by Raquel Welch in the motion picture, ‘One Million Years B.C.’ (1966)
However, it can be amusing to conform to or to subvert stereotypes, if only to reinforce prejudicial preconceptions. Grunt! I have to state for the record, that The CRAVEman is a loving, peaceful individual, reticent to engage in aggression, thus representing an archetype for a semi‑civilised new age Stone Age hippy. He may even partake of a little bud from the flowering plant, Cannabis sativa for an occaional chill out. Legend. He doesn’t need a spear or a club, just one of his many trusty CRAVE Guitars and a healthy respect for his environment. Grunt! (Ed: OK, we get the idea, move on)
“I think that weddings have probably been crashed since the beginning of time. Cavemen crashed them. You go to meet girls. It makes sense” – Christopher Walken (1943‑)
The use of AI for The Craveman Cometh
As you may know, CRAVE Guitars has dabbled with the subject of artificial intelligence (AI) before. For background information, CRAVE Guitars’ focused on AI generally and in relation to vintage guitars last year (2024). A bit has changed over the course of 12+ months. If you wish to view or review the material, follow the links below (each link opens in a new tab):
While this article is principally about The CRAVEman, the use of AI to illustrate him is simply a convenient means to the storytelling end. The short video clip of The CRAVEman (see below) is also my first venture into AI video. Good to know that the technology is being used for altruistically enhancing human civilisation, eh?
The upside is that there are plenty of images this month. While I consider myself a reasonably creative character, my artistic skills remain woefully under‑developed, so I admit that I resorted to AI image generation for the majority of visual representations this month. Apologies to all genuine artists out there, I simply can’t afford your authenticity. While the images look very much of their type (still not convinced), they serve a specific purpose here, to conjure up and to evoke The CRAVEman avatar in the collective consciousness within the growing CRAVE Guitars virtual space (Ed: The CRAVEverse then?). Time to stop with the prosaic narrative and enter CRAVEworld. Ready or not, here he is (finally), The CRAVEman Cometh.
“Women love hairy men. Cavemen were the sexiest men in history” – Leslie Mann (1972‑)
The Adventures of the CRAVEman Cometh
On this occasion folks, I am going to let you, the reader(s), do the hard work for once. Also unusually, the majority of this article is pictorial and the ‘story’, as such, is essentially just a series of captions for you to use your imagination and fill in the intentional blanks.
To set the scene, I may need to suggest a bit of factual context about the world within which The CRAVEman might exist. This is necessary if only to provide a rich background stage on which he can perform his adventures for you.
“Captain CAAAAAVEMANNNN!” – Captain Caveman (animated character voiced by Mel Blanc, 1977‑1980)
Imagine the life and times of The CRAVEman in the Upper Palaeolithic Era (c.50,000‑9,600BCE), which was notable for its significant increase in the diversity and complexity of community organisation. It also saw the emergence of artistic endeavour, such as cave paintings and carvings, indicating a marked development in primitive culture beyond the immediate necessities of survival.
Early humans primarily lived as nomadic hunter‑gatherers. They relied on hunting wild animals and gathering edible plants, both of which required a good understanding of their surroundings. The roaming lifestyle of social groups was essential, as they followed animal migrations, seasonal plant growth and climate.
Nascent human societies were typically organised in small groups or bands, with a relatively simple division of labour. Men often hunted for food and defended their group, while women gathered plants and cared for children. Resources were shared communally, as part of a generally egalitarian but still hierarchical paternalistic social structure.
The development of basic tools included the use of materials like bone, antler and stone, which became crucial for survival. Tools were used for various tasks, including butchering animals, cutting plants and crafting other implements. The mastery of fire also began to play a significant part in daily life, providing warmth, protection and a means to cook food. The Palaeolithic (the Old Stone Age) was followed by the Mesolithic and Neolithic (Middle and New Stone Ages respectively) periods, characterised by the development of permanent settlements, the rise of agriculture and the domestication of animals.
“Man is a tool-using animal. Without tools he is nothing, with tools he is all” – Thomas Carlyle (1795‑1881)
Now for the small but essential matter of the suspension of disbelief. Please bear with me while I veer away from verisimilitude. The premise is a blatant, intentionally clumsy and cartoonish cultural and chronological clash (Ed: alliteration abounds!). The plucky, fantastical CRAVEman collects and plays (electric) guitars (now vintage of course)! He also plays in a rock (sic!) band. Sadly for him, he doesn’t seem to have a CRAVEwife, or CRAVEgirlfriend (yet), not even a CRAVEgroupie or three. Just don’t ask too many awkward questions about coherence or attempt to rationalise the incongruities, ignored here for artistic license – just go with the flow and use your imagination. Get the general idea though? G‑G‑g‑great! Let’s get stoned (sic!).
Think of the pictorial sequence as a chronologically linear ‘storyline’ progression, whether portraying a day, a week, a month, a year, etc. and you begin to get the CRAVEworld concept (Ed: time to record a prog album?). When following The Adventures of The CRAVEman Cometh, think along the lines of comic strip panels minus the unnecessary narrative ‘speech bubbles’ – well, our prehistoric ancestors’ vocabulary was a bit, erm, stunted, at best. I’m sure you can apply the occasional, “grunt!” if you wish to supplement the visuals with auditory accents. Alternatively, the following could be thought of as a rough storyboard outline for a motion picture film screenplay (if only).
The opportunities for The CRAVEman imaginings are boundless. I wish I had the time, effort and genuine creativity to make a proper ‘thing’ of this particular spinoff. Remember though that The CRAVEman Cometh and his story is now undeniably CRAVE Guitars’ IP.
“I work hard all day, too, and what do I get? A lot of yak from you. You at least get out everyday, see things, talk to people. I never get out of this cave” – Wilma Flintstone from ‘The Flintstones’ (1960‑1966)
A Day/Week/Month/Year in the Life of The CRAVEman
About time too! Let us prevaricate, procrastinate, beat about the bush, dilly dally, delay and obfuscate no longer. We are about to embark on the positively pulchritudinous prehistoric adventures of The CRAVEman. Settle in and enjoy.
New Dawn Sunrise – Having recently roused from his Stone Age slumbers, dreams of being a Rock God left long behind, The CRAVEman looks out upon CRAVEworld, his immense territorial domain as the sun rises on a shiny brand new day. It looks promising weather for undertaking his intended tasks for the day ahead. His role is to ensure his tribe’s survival in a testing world.
Neighbourly Greeting – Prior to heading out on his daily mission, he engages amiably with his thriving social group. Relationships are largely cordial, marred only by lusty competition for unattached CRAVEgirls. The CRAVEman agrees the imperatives and priorities for the day’s assignment.
Ready To Head Out – Having readied himself for his daily quest, The CRAVEman mentally prepares himself for whatever challenges he is likely to face in the wilderness. A moment of serious reflection taken as he formulates a basic plan to make the most of the opportunities available to him.
Outbound Commute – Having long since exhausted all available resources close to home, The CRAVEman has to travel further afield to find what he and his group needs. Fortunately, his domesticated heavy horse makes crossing distance and uneven terrain easier. His faithful hound accompanies him.
Rocky Mountain Way Snowy Explorer – On a lengthy expedition, The CRAVEman has to cross a challenging and unfamiliar landscape including hostile snow and ice high up in the mountains. The grunting weather is severe. Unsure what he might find, he sets out on foot to explore.
Fishing in Bear Country – After the mountain pass, The CRAVEman descends into a valley carved out by river erosion, He attempts to use his crude tools to catch any fish that may swim past, taking care to avoid other predators after the same quarry in this area of nutritional abundance. Grunting bears!
Mammoth Hunting on the Plain – Having not caught much in the way of fish from the river valley, The CRAVEman heads out onto the plains in the hope of hunting larger game. The massive mammoths he encounters are more than he can take on alone. Onward he goes, leaving the prospect of grunting mammoth steaks for another day.
Faraway Foraging in the Grassland – Having been unsuccessful hunting fish and animal prey on the plains, The CRAVEman resorts to the grasslands on the edge of ancient woodland to forage for edible plants and berries to take back to his kinfolk. He cannot go home empty handed.
Defending the Tribe – Every so often, The CRAVEman’s group encounters other tribes, each determined to defend their own territory. Rarely do these grunting confrontations end in conflict. There is plenty of posturing and shows of power intended to sustain a status quo. Occasionally, tribes come together for competitive but friendly rock band competitions.
Homebound Commute – After a long day’s travails exploring in the mountains, fishing in river valleys, hunting on the plains, foraging in grassland and defending his community from interlopers, a weary The CRAVEman heads homeward on his trusty heavy horse with his faithful dog in close pursuit.
Cooking Pot Blues – Having secured enough food for his contribution to his community’s sustenance, The CRAVEman prepares and cooks his own meal. He would have preferred a meatier and tastier menu but grunting plant food will have to do on this occasion. A tad disappointed, he plays a lugubrious lament while waiting for his supper to stew.
Rock Guitar Practice – Knowing that he has some serious performance time ahead of him, The CRAVEman cannot let up on practicing his hard rock music chops. It takes all his concentration to keep his musical talents up to scratch.
Big Cat Interruption – What the grunt! No peace for the wicked. The CRAVEman’s guitar practice is rudely interrupted by a familiar local big kitty. He may look fearsome but that is just playful exuberance. There is mutual benefit to the tribe and their ‘pet’ feline’s informal collaboration.
Rock Guitar Practice Resumed – Having settled the big kitty down for a cat nap, The CRAVEman can resume his studious guitar practice in readiness for a forthcoming rock gig. More hard work. The demands and burdens of a Stone Age Rock God never ceases.
Rock Band Rehearsal – Having been through his intensive practice regime, The CRAVEman sets about gathering his rock band members together for an impromptu rock & rock rehearsal. Unrealised aspirations of Rock Godness abound and rehearsals go well, if a bit chaotic. Lyrics are certainly not their strong point! Grunt!
Rock Festival Rain – For grunt’s sake! It had to happen, The CRAVEman’s band gets to play an outdoor gig and it grunting well rains on them mid performance, thinning what little crowd they had gathered to listen and appreciate his guitar playing skills. A typical rock festival experience over the ages. A veritable Stone Age Glastonbury experience. Grunting bad weather.
Cave Painting – In order to commemorate The CRAVEman’s contribution to his small community, the local rock ‘journalist’ does his best as a pictographic designer. He poses while the artist attempts to immortalise the would‑be rock legend in a cave painting. Like lyric writing, our merry group’s portrait skills leave something to be desired.
Over The Sea and Far Away Sunset – At long last, The CRAVEman’s long and arduous day draws closer to its inevitable conclusion. He’s up on a nearby cliff admiring CRAVEworld’s beautiful sunset over the infinite sea. The preternatural landscape inspires The CRAVEman to compose his next rock song.
Campfire Singalong – Although darkness has settled on the Stone Age camp, The CRAVEman’s musical skills are still much in need by his loyal troupe. He sits contentedly around the campfire grunting rock lullabies for a period of important social bonding between genders and generations.
Fireside Rock Jam – Once the rock kids have gone to their caves for night time slumbers, The CRAVEman continues his musical explorations. No more intense solo practice, band rehearsal or campfire lullabies, this is pure rock music noodling for his own pleasure. Jamming for fun helps him to unwind before retiring for the night.
Dreaming of Stone Age Rock Godness – Finally laying his weary head down to rest, The CRAVEman falls into a deep sleep with his favourite axe and his faithful canine companion both by his side. He dreams of becoming an eternal Rock God, immortalised forever for his contributions to Stone Age rock & rock music. Dream on.
Well there you have him – The CRAVEman’s first adventures in CRAVEworld in a proverbial nutshell. Short and sweet. If you don’t dig The CRAVEman’s adventures, that’s fine.
“Yabba Dabba Doo!” – Fred Flintstone from the first episode of ‘The Flintstones’, ‘The Flintstone Flyer’ (1960)
Final Thoughts on The CRAVEman Cometh
A quick rhetorical question, why didn’t this preposterous notion occur to me before now? The simple answer is that, in hindsight, I really don’t know. Nevertheless, I feel obliged at this particular juncture to restate that this month’s article is only a bit of puerile FUN and a break from the more serious ‘business‑as‑usual’ task of writing about vintage guitars. Heck, we all have to set loose our inner hirsute hero from time to time (NB. from time to time is an English idiom dating back to at least the 16th Century, meaning intermittently/occasionally). On this occasion, the author’s mental aberration has played out in the public domain. As usual, if you don’t like what you see here, there are plenty of other places that are after a temporal slice of your precious life.
My intention is not to require a following but to welcome those who wish to participate actively in something occasionally a little bit odd (?!). Life would be very dull without a degree of dalliance with the deviant (as long as it is harmless of course). Disclaimer, no animals (extinct or surviving) were harmed during the making of The Adventures of The CRAVEman Cometh.
“If there hadn’t been women we’d still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends” – Orson Welles (1915‑1985)
You may wonder what all this has to do with vintage guitars. Fair comment. Well, it is relevant by association. There would be no The CRAVEman without CRAVE Guitars and there would be no CRAVE Guitars without vintage guitars and its increasingly peculiar proprietor. Being quite frank (poor Frank comes in for a lot of stick, don’t you think?), I just cannot be bothered to justify this devious detour any further. It is what it is, like it or not. I kinda dig The CRAVEman dude, hence his appearance. Looking back, I still wonder why it took so long.
“Grunt!” – The CRAVEman (The Upper Palaeolithic, c.50,000‑9,600BCE)
Whether this little existential experiment bears further fruit, one can only speculate at this stage. He may return to obscurity or he may flourish in abundance. All is up for grabs at the moment. I kinda think he might stick around. He may even appear at a CRAVErock‑gig or CRAVErock‑festival near, where else, Stonehenge. He may even go CRAVEbusking at a stone circle near you.
“The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization” – Sigmund Freud (1856‑1939)
Is there any profound meaning or ancestral resemblance between The CRAVEman and me? Personally, I do not believe so, which makes him all the more endearing – he is not bound in any way by my ephemeral mortal manifestation. Put bluntly, I am (we are) perfectly comfortable and at ease with multiple identities – no mental disorder involved, honest. Seriously, for a moment though, look after your mental health and well‑being good people. This article has not featured any images of actual vintage guitars so, finally, here is a complimentary pic of The CRAVEman with his own CRAVE Guitars collection…
The Real CRAVE Cave
After reading all this, one might think that it is 100% fiction. However, there is an itsy‑bitsy, teeny‑weeny, tiny trace of truth behind an element of the story. The CRAVEman‑cave does actually exist. Kinda. The dark, damp, dilapidated cellar of the domestic house is the would‑be home for today’s actual CRAVE Guitars family.
Regular readers will know that this has been a long‑gestating project to ‘tank’ the cellar to create a dry, warm and secure home for vintage gear. Progress has been hindered by access, technical issues and, the big, big biggy, lack of funds. So there you go, there is a smidgeon of veracity to the story. The above is the real thing, No AI this time.
“Once you were apes, yet even now man is more of an ape than any of the apes” – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844‑1900)
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’
Given this month’s reveal of the author’s newly assumed nom de guerre, ‘The CRAVEman’, it seemed appropriate that this month’s ‘Album of the Month’ should reflect an LP with an analogous title. I should emphasise here that there is no connection between CRAVE Guitars and the name of the album or its artist; it is merely coincidental and totally unintentional. However, there is no reason why this convenient happenstance should be overlooked for this article.
Ted Nugent – Craveman’ (2002): Ted Nugent’s 12th studio album, ‘Craveman’ was released in September 2002 on Spitfire Records. The album comprises 14 tracks over 56 minutes. Even the 2nd track is titled, ‘Crave’, lasting a monumental 6 minutes 19 seconds. Perhaps he knew I was coming! The album represents Nugent’s return to the power trio format and a more hard rock sound than previous outings. It was released five years before CRAVE Guitars became a ‘thing’ and twenty three years before The CRAVEman, so I guess he got there first.
Ted Nugent’s ‘Craveman’ is not my favourite guitar album but it’s OK I guess. However, it fits the bill for this illustrative purpose. At least it is a heavier, guitar‑centric rock album after unconvincing periods of synth pop/rock ballad material.
The music is one thing. The character behind it is another. There is no way to avoid the association. Nugent’s music will always be overshadowed by his political notoriety. There is no denying that Nugent is a controversial larger‑than‑life, take‑it‑or‑leave‑it personality and also a pretty good guitarist to boot.
Full disclosure; I have to state that and I do not agree with Mr Nugent’s political alignments, his racial stances, his propensity for gun ownership and his predisposition for slaughtering innocent animals for ‘fun’. In 2021, he stepped down from the board of directors of the NRA (the American National Rifle Association gun rights advocacy and lobby group that campaigns in defence of the USA’s out‑dated second amendment). Owning a gun is one thing, using it as a lethal weapon to kill living creatures is another. This is not an expression of any sort of liberal woke agenda, it is just a heartfelt compassion and an expression of respect for all life on our planet.
BELIEVE IN MUSIC!
“The human failing I would most like to correct is aggression. It may have had survival advantage in caveman days, to get more food, territory or a partner with whom to reproduce, but now it threatens to destroy us all” – Stephen Hawking (1942‑2018)
Tailpiece
Well that was fun and insane in equal measure! Dumbass? Has CRAVE lost his final marble? Too much? Maybe. Maybe not. You decide. So we bid au revoir,adios,ciao and garrulous grunts from ‘The CRAVEman’ for now. Time for The CRAVEman Goeth, so to speak. I have a funny feeling that he may well return at some point in some guise or other. To mix metaphors, there is no turning back now as the genie is out of the bottle. You have been warned. A final thought… fundamentally, aren’t we all just cave men and cave women with fancy modern lifestyle trappings? Grunt!
Ultimately, as stated above, this month’s article is all just a bit of silly FUN and (at least for me) a welcome break from the norm. As a terribly telegraphed trifling tip‑off, the fictional fancies herein may just beckon a peripheral subject matter for next month’s article. So let’s wish our precious lives away and bring on August 2025 to wait and see what transpires. At the top of the article, I promised you flowery language. I think that promise was delivered in spades (NB. Another 20th Century English idiom probably referring to the spades in a pack of cards, the dominant suit used in contract bridge. It means for something to be done beyond the norm).
Let us hope we survive long enough to endure the preposterous perils of perverted, paranoid power crazed people. Civilisation and our precious planet have been irrevocably scarred under the pretext of ‘progress’ and unconscionable conflict. Sadly. When will the moral majority stand up collectively to the corrupted and say, “no more!” before it is too late? It cannot come too soon. Apologies, didactic discourse for the month over… for now.
Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. Until next time…
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “They say only time will tell. When that time comes, will there be anyone around to listen?”
GOOD TO ‘SEE’ YOU HERE AGAIN DEAR READERS and thank you for popping in. Well, obviously, I can’t actually ‘see’ you but you hopefully get the spirit of the idiom. So, half of the year two thousand and twenty five according to the calendar of Pope Gregory XIII (1502‑1585). One criticism about his modifications to the preceding Julian calendar from 46BCE (thanks Gaius Julius Caesar 100‑44BCE) is that the pope didn’t ‘fix’ the date of Easter. It would have been easy to pick a suitably theological date and stick to it. Staying on topic, the world welcomes the new Pope Leo XIV (1955‑) to the head of the Catholic Church. However, I don’t think that the date on which Easter falls each year is a core part of his doctrinal manifesto. He probably has just a few other things to deal with. A missed opportunity, maybe. It does make a refreshing change to pass comment on religion instead of politics. I am certain that Pope Leo will add his influential voice to the masses praying for peace across our sadly savagely scarred planet.
Vintage Guitar Snobbery
This month’s subject is a pervasive and distasteful trait amongst the vintage guitar community, the ornery subject of snobbery. Few will admit to being a vintage guitar snob; they put their opinions down to years of experience and therefore their rhetoric is valid and credible while, at the same time, putting others down for their ignorant inexperience either directly or indirectly. Now, whether intended to be ironic or not that, to me, is a prime example of snobbery. How to spot a vintage guitar snob…
It may be straightforward snobbery, i.e. “mine’s bigger than yours”, “mine’s worth more than yours”, or “is that all you’ve got?” Other clear examples are the sweeping generalisations such as, “anything made after 1965 is total crap”, claiming that the only guitars worth bothering with are pre‑CBS Fenders or pre‑Norlin Gibsons, thereby dismissing everyone who can’t compete in their elevated circles as hoi polloi (NB. Greek meaning ‘the many’) scum. Mention a 1980s Gibson Sonex‑180 to one of these self‑proclaimed elitists and you will not be taken seriously. Ever. These ultra‑competitive, and usually ultra‑rich, snobs won’t accept anything other than a museum‑grade 1958 Gibson Explorer as worthy of their precious attention. Snobs want to stop someone else having something as much as they want something no‑one else can have. Whatever.
Alternatively, there is the case for inverse snobbery, a simple and dogmatic repudiation of the classic guitars hailed by the ordinary ‘pro‑snobs’ (see above), stating that anything that pristine, that rare and costing that much must, by default, be overrated and unattainable – instruments way too exclusive for a mere mortal to pick up and play, so must be imprisoned in a climate controlled vault. These so‑called ‘anti‑snobs’ are likely to reject the big American brands and proclaim that there is nothing better than a U.S.S.R.‑made ‘Ordjonikidze Tonika EGS-65’ from the late 1960s. To them, the accepted mainstream is no‑go zone. These snobs like playing in their own little sandpits, looking over at the big boys with bitter, resentful distaste. Whatever.
I realise fully that the last two paragraphs may provide prima facie proof that I am also a vintage guitar snob, even though I don’t fit neatly into either description. I have to confess that, unintentionally, I fall foul of vintage guitar snobbery from time to time but please don’t tell anyone about our dirty little secret. That in a (large) nutshell, dear friends, is what I’ll be exploring this month. Right. To work.
“There is simply no limit to the tyrannical snobbery that otherwise decent people can descend into when it comes to music” – Stephen Fry (1957‑)
Let’s get a simple definition out of the way first. A snob is a person with an exaggerated respect for elevated social position or overstated wealth who seeks to associate with social superiors and who rejects or looks down on those regarded as socially inferior or less wealthy. A snob is someone who believes that their opinions and tastes in a particular area are superior to those of other people. Snobbery, put quite simply, is what snobs do.
“We must never confuse elegance with snobbery” – Yves Saint Laurent (1936‑2008)
With the complicated world of vintage guitars, there are the musicians, enthusiasts, the ‘collecterati’, dealers, investors, onlookers, tyre‑kickers, etc. Each of these sub‑categories have their fair share of pro‑ and anti‑snobs. If one assumes that the ‘snobbery scale’ (Ed: good one) is a continuum from an absolute snob at one end to a genuine guitarist with integrity at the other, we are all somewhere along the scale, which, if plotted on a chart, the numbers would probably follow a standard deviation bell curve (a.k.a. a normal distribution).
It is all too easy to start off with a rational objective view about vintage guitars and then slip and slide imperceptibly down the slippery slope of snide snobbery (Ed: love the alliteration… for once). For those of us self‑aware enough to recognise the risk, we occasionally need a short, sharp reality check to bring us to our senses and restore our sense of perspective.
Well, recently, I undertook such a quick self‑examination. Then, after I did that, I did a quick check to see where I might be on the vintage guitar ‘snobbery scale’ (heehee). I am sad to say that recently I may have succumbed to one aspect of vintage guitar snobbery. That realisation brought my failings into rapid focus. Darn it!
“England is the most class-ridden country under the sun. It is a land of snobbery and privilege, ruled largely by the old and silly” – George Orwell (1903‑1950)
Is it OK to be a snob and keep it a hidden away? Well, yes and no. Psychologically, humans are inclined to believe that we are far better and far more sensible than we actually are. Basically, we are all biased and prejudiced to some degree, however slight. With pride (the bad sort) and self‑righteous indignation, we might well argue that we aren’t skewed. But we are. All these examples are in themselves a characteristic of a snob. None of us would stoop that low… would we? C’mon, be honest.
So, in an act of rampant redemption, I am confessing to the sin of falling into a trap of self‑denial. How on Earth did that happen and why did I not pick up on it sooner? The answer is that we don’t want to admit our own shady shortcomings, however small, to ourselves, let alone to anyone else. As I’m not a Catholic, so I don’t know how many ‘hail Marys’ to which I will now be condemned.
“It’s the people who transcend their backgrounds who are interesting to me. I have got a bit of inverted snobbery” – Viv Albertine (1954‑)
Where is all this leading you might well ask? Be patient, I’m just setting the scene in front of which the arch playwright’s tragedy will ultimately unfold. Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides would be proud. So, what are the capital vices of which I speak? You have a choice of seven (NB. lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride – a.k.a. the Catholic Church’s seven cardinal sins). Well, recently, I faced a moral dilemma, a quandary and a predicament when considering a vintage guitar purchase. That conundrum exposed my own vintage guitar snobbery which, after considerable soul‑searching, resulted in having to make an economic decision. How well did I listen to the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other? Which persuasive ‘voice’ did I eventually succumb to, and which side of the fence did I eventually fall off? Time to find out…
“Ah, beware of snobbery; it is the unwelcome recognition of one’s own past failings” – Cary Grant (1904‑1986)
Vintage Guitar Refinishing
Before we get to the specifics, what do I mean by a refinish? It may seem obvious but it is worth a quick clarification. At its simplest, a refinish means to apply a new surface covering to an object. The application may mean over‑spraying an underlying finish, for instance to obscure or protect the original surface. Alternatively, it may mean removing the entire original surface coating and replacing it with a new one. A finish may be ‘natural’, for instance a transparent lacquer to show the underlying wood grain, or painted in any colour – translucent or opaque. The superficial material used to refinish most guitars may be nitrocellulose lacquer, polyester or, more rarely, wax/oil finishes (usually only on bare wood). A refinish may attempt to mimic an original finish or it may be used to alter its appearance completely. A refinish may be purely cosmetic or it may be used to cover up damage or evidence of a previous repair.
For vintage guitars, a refinish may be on the body only (common with bolt‑on neck guitars), neck only (ditto) or a complete body and neck refinish (more common on set‑neck guitars). While the intention may be to restore or improve an object’s condition, it generally results in a reduction of the object’s value (for instance antique furniture). For many collectors, a refinish is therefore of economic as well as historical significance.
This article is essentially a story of three vintage guitars, all of which have been part of the CRAVE Guitars family over the years. As you might have guessed by now, the theme connecting these three instruments is the thorny subject of ‘refinishing’. The examples below comprise two full refinishes and one body‑only refinish. In each example the decision‑making process about whether to refinish or not was different, thereby giving a different perspective for each one. Convenient, eh?
Example Number One: 1975 Gibson Les Paul Standard – Regular readers will probably be aware that CRAVE’s 1975 Gibson Les Paul Standard was originally tobacco sunburst. When I bought it second hand c.1978 it had extensive buckle rash and I wasn’t over keen on the tobacco sunburst, so I had it refinished in natural nitrocellulose. Years later, being dissatisfied with how the natural finish was aging, I had it refinished again to its current dark cherry sunburst. At the time, it wasn’t an issue because it was still relatively new and I had no intention of keeping the guitar. I now cherish that refinished 1975 Les Paul, even though its value is probably between 30% and 60% of what it would be worth if it still had its original finish. In fact, it has become CRAVE Guitars’ chosen signature instrument despite its history.
1975 Gibson Les Paul Standard (Refinish)
In retrospect, had I been aware of how things would turn out, I probably wouldn’t have had it refinished. Mind you, its original condition would have deteriorated further over time. I’ve also kinda come around to tobacco sunburst, although I won’t have it refinished for a third time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I now know that once it had been done, it is permanent.
So it was that, with the creation of CRAVE Guitars as a serious concern, I vowed that I would avoid purchasing refinished instruments, regardless of whether there were justifiable and defensible reasons for doing so. I also vowed that I would not be guilty of refinishing any instruments while in my care. Until now, that 1975 Les Paul has been the only refinished guitar belonging to CRAVE Guitars.
For this example, the decision to refinish the Les Paul was mine to make. Regrettably, I took the decision to refinish and did it (twice!). Doh!
“Snobs are people who look down on other people, but that does not justify our looking down on them” – Frederick Buechner (1926‑2022
Example Number Two: 1984 Gibson Explorer – This tale starts off with what may seem a fairly straightforward question. What would I say now to someone now who wanted to refinish a vintage guitar? The immediate reaction would be to say, “don’t do it”. Simple? Nah. Shades of grey, as usual. As it turns out, this isn’t just a hypothetical situation. Such a circumstance actually occurred only a couple of years ago.
1984 Gibson Explorer (Original Finish)
I reluctantly sold a black 1984 Gibson Explorer to fund another. The buyer was a Metallica fan and he wanted a ‘cheap’ 1984 Explorer which he said he was going to refurbish and refinish to match James Hetfield’s cream one. The original black finish was in reasonable condition with a lot of nitro crazing. As it wasn’t pristine, I sold it at less than it was worth (I’m not a dealer). A refinish was not an imperative and everything else was 100% original (including the case). I mentioned to the buyer that a refinish would be irreversible and it would significantly reduce its value on the vintage market. Originality wasn’t his priority, so he went ahead and did it anyway. It wasn’t my place either to tell someone what (not) to do or to refuse to sell it on those grounds. Once it was his, he was free to do whatever he wanted with it. I’d done my bit by giving him the information and he could use it (or not) to make an informed decision. The refinish was done well and he was pleased with it. Personally I wouldn’t have done it but, as Mark Twain said, “You pays your money and you takes your choice!” (from, ‘Huckleberry Finn’, 1885).
Unlike example number one, the decision to refinish the Explorer was not mine to make. The person who bought it took the decision to refinish and did it.
Example Number Three: 1966 Fender Electric XII – Now… rolling the clocks forward, in February 2025, I was confronted by a vintage guitar opportunity, which put me in an awkward decision‑making situation. It is also the example that prompted this article.
1966 Fender Electric XII (Refinish)
I purchased a 1966 Fender Electric XII. With my hyper‑modest income and lack of disposable capital, the only way I could afford this uber‑cool and rare item was to purchase a refinished example at between a third and a half the price of a similar model with an original finish. The vast majority of Fender Electric XIIs were in sunburst finish and the one I bought was a very fetching faded Olympic White. At first, I thought it might be original and a bargain, as it wasn’t advertised as a refinish. Once I had ascertained that it had been refinished, I found myself in a bit of a Catch‑22 because, in principle, I would not buy a refinished instrument (see above). It is an old refinish and the quality of the work is (just about) adequate. Although it might benefit from it, I am not tempted to refinish it again. Generally speaking, I appreciate a guitar’s originality and believe that instruments are better for proudly showing the scars of their trade. A refinish, arguably obscures its visible journey through time but that just starts a new period of its existence.
“Snobbishness is the desire for what divides men and the inability to value what unites them” – Joseph Epstein (1937‑)
So… I accepted that, if I wanted to own a vintage Electric XII, this was the only way I could realistically do it and I would have to revoke my own long‑held prejudicial principle. The dilemma was resolved and the Electric XII is now part of the CRAVE Guitars family. Having taken the plunge, I felt that I needed to challenge previously held bigotries and attempt to justify the refinished Fender Electric XII’s addition to CRAVE Guitars. It is only the body of the Electric XII that has been refinished. The neck retains its original natural finish.
I realised that these internal machinations might possibly make for an interesting debate in the public domain, hence this article. Would I reaffirm my dogma (NB. called confirmation bias) or would I be pragmatic, contest my own predisposition and come to terms with, and accept, the outcome? Furthermore, would I be content with the Electric XII despite it being abundantly obvious that it is not all‑original?
“You must not judge hastily or vulgarly of snobs: to do so shows that you are yourself a snob” – William Makepeace Thackeray (1811‑1863)
Beneath the surface (sic!) there is no doubt that the Electric XII is a fascinating and innovative guitar for its time and is experiencing a renascence in the 21st Century. Its heritage is not in doubt, even though it was not a great success once the 12‑string craze ended in the late 1960s. Therefore, if one accepts that it is a legitimate guitar and the only difference between this and an all‑original Electric XII is the thin layer on the surface. Does it really matter? Should a paint job be the deciding factor? It also made for the crunch question of why a refinish devalues a guitar by c.50%.
I don’t usually talk about filthy lucre but it may help in this instance. To put it in absolute terms, my 1966 Fender Electric XII cost me £3,000GBP. Converting $ to £ is approximately 1:1 once exchange rates, fees, custom charges and taxes are taken into consideration. The ‘The Official Vintage Guitar Magazine Price Guide 2025’ (a bible for vintage guitar owners) values an original example at $8,500‑$12,000USD for an original common colour (i.e. not sunburst but also not a rare custom colour). Original sunburst examples are valued at $6,000‑$7,500USD. A guide, however, is only that, a guide, despite the level of research involved.
To compare market prices on Reverb, eBay and specialist vintage guitar retailers, equivalent Electric XIIs with original sunburst finish vary from £5,000‑£8,000GBP and rare custom colours up to c.£12,000GBP.
So, on the face of it, £3,000GBP is still a bargain, even with its refinish. I have long stated that monetary value is not a prime motivator for CRAVE Guitars and that remains true. However, such an ‘investment’ is still a considerable commitment for a single instrument, given my low fixed income, so purchase price is a relevant economic factor in this situation. Recognising that I would have to forgo other important things to get this one, the sacrifice was duly made.
“It’s a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money” – Albert Camus (1913‑1960)
There are a couple of other factors affecting the price of this particular example. The tuners are replacements, the 4‑way Daka Ware pickup selector switch knob is not original and old ones are very hard to source (NB. Daka Ware is a type of compression moulded phenolic material and trade name for Davies Moulding in the 1960s). It also doesn’t have an original hard shell case, which is a shame, as they are unique (and therefore pricey) because of their odd size. However, £3,000GBP still seems worth it prima facie – I was getting a great guitar at a good price – what’s not to like?
My excitement about getting my grubby mitts on a cool and rare vintage Electric XII was tinged with apprehension about how I would connect with it, given my (warranted or not) judgemental predisposition about refinishes.
You can probably tell from this lengthy preamble that the issue is still galling me and, perhaps by openly articulating it, I can reconcile the polarising perspectives and achieve some peace of mind. This is clearly a first world problem. If that is all I have to worry about, then things can’t be too bad, eh? Time to apply some rational objectivity and criteria to test the issue.
Unlike either of the previous two examples, the decision to refinish the Electric XII was taken by someone else long before the guitar came into my possession.
“It is impossible, in our condition of Society, not to be sometimes a Snob” – William Makepeace Thackeray (1811‑1863)
Analysis
Given the trilogy of examples, it seemed to make sense to look at what difference a refinish really makes to a vintage guitar. For this section, I am using only the Fender Electric XII as the example. However, many of the observations against each of the five criteria may well apply equally to all three guitars covered here.
Functionality – Not affected. This Electric XII has been a working guitar, belonging to the owner of a London recording studio. It has had to earn its place, so it has been looked after. The Electric XII has always been more popular in the studio than on stage or TV. Given its primary role, it was vitally important that it was able to perform effectively whenever called upon. Less of a priority were its looks or originality. I have long said that vintage instruments should be played and this one clearly fulfils that particular criterion. Why it was refinished, I do not know but it certainly wouldn’t have affected its use as a pro‑grade guitar in a working environment. Its studio role may well explain the tuner replacement too, although it isn’t clear when it was done. In the 1970s and 1980s, it was common practice to ‘upgrade’ tuners for supposed tuning accuracy and stability. The same might also go for the original pickup selection lever.
Working professional instruments are often modified to ensure they are fit for purpose. Many ‘celebrity’ owned guitars that go to auction and reach six figures are often heavily modified to suit the owner’s demanding requirements. Those high profile mods don’t seem to affect provenance values, so why isn’t it the same for everyday workhorse vintage guitars? My predetermined principles may be crumbling under my fingertips. Does the refinish relegate a ‘collectable’ guitar to a ‘player‑grade’ by default? It seems so. In conclusion, the refinish does not negatively impact functionality.
Playability – Not affected. The guitar plays well for an almost 60‑year old 12-string electric. Such an instrument has compromises, although those compromises are more acceptable for a 12‑string Electric XII than, say, for a Rickenbacker of the same age. The maple neck is solid and the original frets are in very good shape (suggesting that it hasn’t been abused or over‑used). Nuts can be a problem accommodating 12 strings and, while this one has been well cut, strings can jump from slots if subjected to heavy‑handed use. That isn’t unique to this example, so we can discount that as an issue. The 4‑way selector switch can be a bit confusing but one just uses one’s ears (as one should). The shape of the selector switch helps with positioning.
Before Leo Fender sold his company to CBS in 1965, he had designed the Electric XII from the ground up, including its unique 12 saddle bridge and its equally unique split coil pickups reminiscent of a Fender Precision bass. So, in conclusion, the refinish does not negatively impact playability.
Tone – Not affected. The signal chain from the fingers, through the strings to the the tuners & bridge, neck & body, and ultimately to the pickups, selector switch, volume & tone controls and the output jack are completely original. Now there are many vintage guitar snobs who will tell you that the finish affects tone. They profess that a thin nitrocellulose finish is far superior to, say Fender’s 1970s’ polyester finish. In practical day‑to‑day terms for a professional working guitar, I believe that to be hogwash and there are plenty of other factors that affect tone more than the type or age of finish on the body, so I am proclaiming an element of ‘emperor’s new clothes’ in this instance. So, in conclusion, the refinish does not negatively impact tone.
Looks – Varies depending on taste. There are probably only two main reasons for refinishing a guitar. One is to cover up something egregious and the other is to improve its looks. Going back to the Les Paul in c.1978, it was to improve its looks. While I have no insight into why the body (only) of the Electric XII was refinished, I can only assume it was for a similar reason. There does not appear to be any damage or ill‑advised irreversible modifications being obscured. Everything else (bar tuners and switch knob) are original, so it appears to have been done for aesthetic reasons. Whether it is better or worse than the original finish (I don’t know what colour it was) is moot – it is what it is. It has been done. It can’t go back. The finish isn’t wonderful; it was clearly stripped, painted and lacquered but not to a thick shiny flat surface. It looks pretty old and well‑faded. The studio owner had the guitar for 30 years and it was done before he got it, so it makes sense that it is an old refinish. Because of this, I don’t want to double down on the ‘issue’ by refinishing it again. Its refinish is part of this guitar’s story and it should stay that way.
I don’t know what you think but I reckon it is best left alone. However, as it doesn’t affect other aspects of the guitar, so the refinish can best be described as cosmetic only. Whether the aesthetic negatively impacts looks is up to each individual to decide. In conclusion, the refinish does fundamentally affect the physical appearance of the guitar body (and thereby, the whole instrument).
Value – Disastrous. As mentioned earlier in the article, a refinished 1966 Fender Electric XII in a non‑sunburst colour has significantly devalued the instrument for the purist collector. However, as you may have gathered over the years, I am not your conventional ‘collector’. Where I struggle at this point is, if the refinish is purely cosmetic and doesn’t affect functionality, playability or tone, why is so much value lost.
Looking at a different category altogether, classic cars and motorcycles, while an original finish may be rare and important to some, many vehicle collectors place a high value well‑restored vehicles, so why not guitars? I can understand why a guitar refinish may be considered less preferable but it doesn’t make a guitar less than half as good, just because of a thin coat of paint. In many ways, it could be argued that it might improve a guitar (but I can’t say that because it is heretical and potentially seditious). Now, I cannot do anything about the entire vintage guitar collector market, so I have to accept that CRAVE’s 1966 Fender Electric XII has been corrupted irreversibly. I have to conclude that the refinish substantially affects value.
“Inverted snobbery is just as dangerous as snobbery itself, you know – that pride in having nothing” – Pete Doherty (1979‑)
A Famous Example: Jeff Beck’s ‘Oxblood’ Gibson Les Paul
Heck, if Jeff Beck can live with a refinished guitar, who am I to be snobbish about it? Beck’s famous Gibson Les Paul was originally a 1954 Les Paul Model Gold Top. According to legend, the original owner of the guitar had it modified by replacing the original P90 pickups with humbuckers, re‑profiling the neck and swapping the nickel metal parts with gold plated bits. It was also refinished in a ‘deep red’ (‘oxblood’) opaque colour to help hide repairs and modifications. The guy who commissioned the changes apparently didn’t like it, so it went up for sale. Beck was apparently unfazed by the changes and bought it in Memphis, TN in 1972. The guitar became a principal guitar for Beck, featuring on many recordings and touring with him. The modifications certainly did not appear to affect Beck’s ability to make great sounds from it. In addition, the guitar was featured on the album cover of Jeff Beck’s album, ‘Blow By Blow’ (1975) – see below.
As a testament to the fact that refinishing may actually add some mystique (and value) to an otherwise standard Les Paul Gold Top, Jeff Beck’s original ‘Oxblood’ sold at Christie’s auction on 22 January 2025 for a record‑setting $1.3m. OK, so it was refinished and modified but that didn’t stop it making its mark and positioning it as an iconic part of vintage guitar and rock music heritage.
Jeff Beck’s ‘Oxblood’ guitar has since been re‑issued as signature Epiphone, Gibson and Gibson Custom (2009 limited edition of 50) models. Coincidentally, Fender issued a press release on 25 June 2025, just a few days before this article was published announcing. “His heavily modified 1954 Les Paul, known to millions as the Oxblood due to its unique chocolate brown/oxblood finish… Now, Epiphone, in collaboration with the Jeff Beck Estate and Gibson Custom, is very proud to introduce the Jeff Beck Oxblood 1954 Les Paul, based on his iconic 1954 Les Paul”. How’s that for timing?
“Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died” – Peter Ustinov (1921‑2004)
Another Famous Example: Neil Young’s ‘Old Black’ Gibson Les Paul
Neil Young’s famous ‘Old Black’ is another icon of rock music. It was originally a 1953 Gibson Les Paul Gold Top, which had been refinished (before Young got it) and has been extensively modified over the decades. Apart from the refinish, ‘Old Black’ was fitted with a Bigsby vibrato, a Gibson Firebird bridge mini‑humbucking pickup, ABR‑1 bridge, a bypass selector switch, Schaller tuners, aluminium parts and a maple ‘pin‑stripe’ to the back of the neck. Neil Young acquired the Les Paul in c.1968 from Jim Messina of Buffalo Springfield in exchange for a 1958 Gretsch 6120. ‘Old Black’ has long been Young’s go-to guitar up to the present day. Neil Young’s headlining set at Glastonbury 2025 featured ‘Old Black’ along with other guitars. This guitar is so well known it even has its own Wikipedia page.
In 2005, Gibson wanted to release a Neil Young ‘Old Black’ signature model. Neil Young refused permission for an official replica. However that didn’t stop Gibson. Although not officially acknowledged, Gibson released a limited number of tribute guitars commissioned by Japanese Gibson dealer Yamano, with certificates describing it as an ‘Aged Historic Reissue’ and a checklist showing ‘LP Neil Young’. The short run was stopped after Neil Young’s lawyers sent a ‘cease and desist’ letter to Gibson. There is plenty of evidence though that a small number of ‘Old Black’ replica models (strangely based on a 1956 Les Paul) reached the market, with an even smaller number of guitars expertly aged by Tom Murphy. These very rare unofficial replica ‘refinished’ instruments have now become highly collectable.
“The educated elite is not without their own actual snobbery. And I kind of an anti‑elitist in that regard” – Neil deGrasse Tyson (1958‑)
Final thoughts on Vintage Guitar Refinishing
As a naïve teenager getting my hands on my first non‑vintage Fender Strat and Gibson Les Paul, did I ever think that some five decades later that I would still have those two now‑vintage guitars and I would still be besotted with the instrument? Nope. Neither did I think that by refinishing the Les Paul, I would be arguing the pros and cons of the practice five decades later. Nowadays, I wouldn’t dream of doing any modifications that aren’t 100% reversible unless it was absolutely unavoidable (e.g. a refret).
The do‑or‑don’t‑do dichotomy has certainly caused a disproportionate level of reflection and analysis. Fundamentally, I have to say that this 1966 Fender Electric XII genuinely remains a wonderful vintage guitar. I like the look of it, although it is a shame that it has been refinished. I like the sound of it, I like the playability of it (for a 12‑string) and it is perfectly functional, so it isn’t all a ‘bad thing’.
A refinish may reduce the value of a vintage guitar by 50% (or more) of what it would be worth if it was all‑original. As mentioned, for two of the three examples, I could not have afforded an all‑original guitar, so a refinish was my only means to acquire them. Yes, a refinish undoubtedly affects resale value but, as I do not intend to dispose of the remaining two refinished CRAVE Guitars any time soon, their value now becomes irrelevant. I did not buy them as an investment looking for profit, so I can live with that aspect. The Electric XII deserves to be cared for as much as any other vintage guitar.
Regular readers will know that I also have an anathema for modern finishes, including faux finishes and distressing (a.k.a. relicing) an otherwise unblemished finish. While it may give a passing impression of being ‘old’, it is not authentic and doesn’t have a genuine patina of having been played for decades. In short, they lack real ‘mojo’. Now that is a clear admission of snobbery. Guilty as charged.
As I was in the process of writing this article, Gibson Custom Select (i.e. the Gibson Custom Shop), announced a series of “painted over” guitar finishes. Essentially, this a base gold top finish followed by solid colour (either Pelham Blue or Ebony) finish applied over the gold, then ‘aged’ (i.e. reliced) by (Tom) Murphy Lab. Gibson are charging a stonkingly high premium price for artificially aged, refinished ‘new’ guitars. Gibson actually stress (sic!) that the main feature of these instruments is “guitar refinishing” (an actual quote from the Gibson press release). Now that is ironic! It is also impeccable timing. Perhaps this fundamental turnaround will provide a precedent for increasing the value of refinished guitars! Hhmm. What do you think?
Just four days earlier than the Gibson press release, Fender actively promoted “The Benefits Of Modifying Your Guitar”, which could open up another whole can of worms about guitar snobbery. As mentioned, the Electric XII has non‑original after‑market tuners, which only adds to its devaluation now it is a vintage guitar. I acknowledge that there are plenty of people out there who delight in modifying guitars, regardless of the long‑term ramifications of doing so. My stance on that is like refinishing, i.e. don’t do it (unless totally reversible). Don’t worry folks, I’m not going to repeat this article focusing on the snobbery towards modifications rather than refinishing. Once again, though, I hope you get the underlying pattern here without me having to be explicit.
NB. Yes, I know that ‘relic’ is a noun and not a verb, as used in the previous paragraphs. Yes, it annoys me too. However, that is symptomatic of the English language being bastardised by marketing departments of the major guitar manufacturers. Please don’t blame me for others’ grammatical transgressions. You can, though, criticise me for reiterating the odious blaspheme.
As mentioned above, the Fender Electric XII may be the ‘newest’ refinished CRAVE Guitar but it isn’t the first and may well not be the last. The Explorer has gone and is now out of my purview. Where does this leave the refinished 1975 Gibson Les Paul Standard? It changes nothing at all; my feelings about the LP remain the same.
Will this period of reflection change my views about refinishes for future CRAVE Guitars acquisitions? Well, it’s made me think very hard about the issues with a more open mind. The conclusion reached is that judgements aren’t as black and white as I had previously considered, meaning that, from now on, I will have to assess each one carefully on a case‑by‑case basis, balancing priority, availability, originality and, of course, cost.
Ultimately, though, vintage guitar snobbery undermined one of my own criteria for selecting a CRAVE Guitar. By doing so, I have had to challenge my preconceptions and have arrived at a state of mind that says, “so what?” It doesn’t affect anyone else, so that’s not an issue. Can I accept it, live with it and enjoy it for what it is? Yep. Is the recently‑acquired Fender Electric XII less than half of a decent guitar because of its non‑original paint job? Nope. Where it really matters, I would say it is 85%‑90% of a great guitar. Perhaps vintage enthusiasts might do well to re‑evaluate such factors and dispense with some of that hyped up judgemental vintage guitar snobbery we so easily fall into. It goes to show that we can always keep learning and it is hubris to think otherwise.
I actually feel a little sad for the Electric XII. Through no fault of its own, it has been irrevocably relegated to a lowly status from which it can never recover, simply because of a thoughtlessly applied refinish years ago. It is now up to me to care for it as best I can while I’m still here. The same goes for the Les Paul.
By sharing this internal debate with the wider public, I will now lay myself open to scrutiny, prejudice, bias, dogma, derision and… yes… vintage guitar snobbery. Others may well look down upon me and scorn me for my misfortune and/or stupidity. That’s their prerogative, even if I may disagree with it.
While I can expose the degree to which snobbery affects vintage guitars, I do not think that it is up to me to place myself within the definition of a snob, as defined at the start of this article. The little bit of me that is a vintage guitar snob might wish that it was an all‑original example but that was never going to happen.
What I can say with some certainty is that vintage guitar snobbery is not a good thing and we should be cautious of falling into its divisive dogmatism. It is tempting and easy to become snobbish. No big surprise there. Personally, I have learned a valuable lesson and have been subject to a timely and appropriate reality check. Am I a hypocrite? It seems that I may well be. Hey, no‑one can be perfect all the time, right? I throw myself on the mercy of the court m’lud. Case closed. For now.
“Hypocrisy is the essence of snobbery, but all snobbery is about the problem of belonging” – Alexander Theroux (1939‑)
In Other News
Amidst uncertain and volatile operating environments, two bits of sad news from the UK music retail industry. The first is the closure of Play Music Today (PMT). All physical UK stores and the online store have been shut down with redundancies after all other options to find a rescue plan failed. All stock was sold to rival chain Gear4Music for just £2.4m. Also, Brighton’s iconic south coast retail store GAK (The Guitar Amp & Keyboard Centre) was also sold to Gear4Music, also for £2.4m. GAK was one of the UK’s largest independent guitar retailers (and frequented often by me). If a guitar shop cannot be viable in a creative music city like ‘Be Right On’ of all places, it is clearly a bad situation.
Can retailers like Gear4Music in the UK compete with the massive online sellers like Sweetwater in the US and Thomann in Europe? Are these recent high street closures one‑offs or further signs of the worrying trend in the decline of bricks and mortar guitar shops located within local communities? I don’t believe in coincidence. Note to all: use them or lose them.
Finally ‘in other news’, a hopefully positive move. The online marketplace Reverb has been sold by American e‑commerce company Etsy to two investment firms in April 2025. Reverb was owned by Etsy for six years between 2019 and 2025. Reverb, originally founded in 2013, is now once again a privately owned, independently operated business. One of the investors, Servco Pacific, is the majority shareholder of Fender Musical Instruments Corporation (FMIC), while the other, Creator Partners, is a minority Fender shareholder.
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’
Given that one of the world’s most recognisable modified guitars is Jeff Beck’s ‘oxblood’ 1954 Gibson Les Paul (see above), it makes sense for this article to give pride of place to a specific ground breaking album by a ground breaking guitarist. Beck’s famous Les Paul is even featured on the album’s front and rear cover art. Cool.
Jeff Beck – ‘Blow By Blow’ (1975): Blow By Blow was the debut solo studio album by the late English guitarist Jeff Beck (1944‑1923), recorded at AIR Studios in London and released in March 1975 on Epic Records. The instrumental album comprises 9 tracks covering 45 minutes. The album was produced by the legendary George Martin. The album includes one of Beck’s most memorable tracks, ‘Cause We’ve Ended As Lovers’ (5 mins 41 secs). The platinum certified album (in the US) reached Number 4 on the American Billboard 200 – not bad for a milestone instrumental rock album by a British musician.
Jeff Beck – Blow By Blow (1975)
‘Blow By Blow’ may, however, not be my favourite Beck album, that probably goes to ‘Jeff Beck’s Guitar Shop’ (1989) but that has a Strat on the cover. Jeff Beck was a one‑of‑a‑kind guitarist and history will probably regard him as a guitarist’s guitarist. He was a genuinely authentic guitar hero for many aspiring guitarists. His exceptional talent is greatly missed and we may never see his like again. RIP Jeff.
“Just ’cause something’s popular, it can still be good. In fact, if more people are buying it, then you must be doing something right. People look down on stuff that sells. What do you call that? Downward snobbery, I guess” – Lemmy Kilmister (1945‑2015)
BELIEVE IN MUSIC!
Tailpiece
Well, that’s another article and the first half of 2025 put to bed. I hope you enjoyed it and it provided a few minutes of distraction from the insanity of real life. Sometimes something that seems so black & white ends up being anything but.
It is now time to move onto another subject and another demanding schedule to get it published by the end of July. For its subject matter, well, you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t ya?
Once I had completed this article, I did have a whimsical moment of reflection. I wondered what would happen if I deleted these c.7,000 words and started over again from scratch, effectively ‘refinishing’ this article. Thankfully, the thought didn’t last long and I am happy to say that this is the original finish. Heehee.
Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. Until next time…
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “If yesterday was tomorrow, what would you do differently?”
WELL, HERE WE ARE ONCE AGAIN VALUED VINTAGE GUITAR AFICIONADOS. If you are here, I am assuming that you have a passing interest in the subject matter. My hope is that I can help to stimulate that interest in a variety of ways. This month, I am investigating the topic of compulsion and collecting in relation to vintage guitars. This introspective investigation involves a soupçon of self‑examination and a chunk of challenge (Ed: enough with the alliteration, already!). Is this my means to justify my irrational need for the pursuit of the unattainable? Is it to feed my insatiable need to own ever more vintage gear? Is it to fuel my humongous but precipitously fragile superego and overcome my innermost feelings of inadequacy and insecurity? Yes, Yes and Yes. Sussed!
As for the recent Victory in Europe (VE) Day (8 May 2025), it struck me that, perhaps, rather than celebrate victory (for some), humanity should be commemorating Peace (for all). Such a change of emphasis does not diminish the evils of war or the sacrifice of so many to secure freedom but it would symbolise a more positive approach towards a more peaceful civilisation. The fact that we have learnt NOTHING over the last 80 years is desperately disappointing and despicably deplorable. A simple message that things HAVE to change to the imperialist kleptocratic oligarchs in Trumpland, Xiland, Kimland, Netanyahuland et al. Stop now!
I tried to think of a single country that forgoes military spending, for something wholly more altruistic and philanthropic, more beneficial to humankind as whole, rather than its own ends. I came up with a big fat zero. There is something wrong about there being no nation advocating for a more humane global society. I don’t mean this as some wishy‑washy liberalistic fancy. I am ‘super serial’ (NB. from the 145th episode of the animated TV series South Park, ‘ManBearPig’ S10:E6 (2006)). Human does not equate to humane. It should. Enough paltry partisan political polemic (Ed: second warning!), that’s not what we are here for.
The American author Dean Koontz sums up my feelings far better than I can about the heinous failings of the human race over the last century or so:
“This world, which has the potential to be Eden, is instead the hell before Hell. In our arrogance, we have made it so” – Dean Koontz (1945‑)
Another snippet of news is that, after over a year in stasis, work has once again begun on book formatting and editing of, ‘The Distortion Diaries’, the author’s first vanity project of pure fiction. More news on that to come in due course. Making time and space for the novel is a priority for me. Something that I have been less than disciplined about. For that reason, this article has just a little bit less research depth and rigour than it probably deserved (and I would have preferred). However, the assumptions made at various points might make it just a bit of a lighter read.
As always, the caveat applies that this is not a comprehensive academic investigation, just a piece of entertaining conjecture. Also, as always, no AI has (knowingly) been used in the research and writing of this article. You may or may not be pleased that scattered relevant quotes are back this month.
Enough idle distractions, time to get to the point…
To Collect or Not to Collect
This article may well have been subtitled, “The mania of owning things”. That’s what concerted collecting is, a mania. Mania is defined as, ‘an excessive enthusiasm or desire; an obsession’ or, ‘a mental illness marked by periods of great excitement or euphoria, delusions, and over‑activity’. A compulsion is ‘an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way, especially against one’s conscious wishes’.
What constitutes a ‘collection’? Obviously (perhaps), a collection is something that results from the art of collecting (duh!). A collection in this regard is ‘a group of objects or an amount of material assembled or accumulated in one location, especially for some purpose or as a result of some process’.
OK. Clear? So, that’s settled then. Time to put one’s feet up and indulge in a refreshing cup of tea.
Well, hang on just a mo’. That can’t be it. I started this month’s article specifically to investigate why vintage guitar collecting is a thing, why it may or may not be healthy and why it is so commonplace. Definitions are one thing, obsessional addiction is another. That indisputable impulse, the overwhelming force to own every possible guitar that one can get one’s hands on, irrespective of anything else in the universe is irresistible. These things seem to exert an overpowering gravitational pull on the afflicted. Enough of the hyperbole, you get the idea. Time to explore a bit further.
What the trite definitions miss, in my view, is the element of a compelling impulse to ACT, to DO something. Enthusiasm and excitement are one thing (well, actually two things) but they aren’t tangible. Creating a collection of vintage guitar gear is tangible. Very tangible.
“Whether we live alone or with other people, few acknowledge the presence of another roommate. This roommate is named ‘Things’ and the space that ‘Things’ occupies is typically a lot larger than the space people have for themselves” – Fumio Sasaki (1978‑)
It looks like that trilogy might just have become a quadrilogy (but not a tetralogy).
Rhetorical question. Does anyone need all these guitars? Of course not. We want all these guitars. That’s the point. It is fundamental to economics and marketing. The demarcation between need and want is blurred by those wishing to exploit the latter at the cost of the former. Thing is, I can’t be bothered to justify the point. Probably because I can’t defend the fixation. Hopefully you get the idea.
“Nobody can give you advice after you’ve been collecting for a while. If you don’t enjoy making your own decisions, you’re never going to be much of a collector anyway” – Charles Saatchi (1943‑)
The Compulsion to Collect Things:
Why do collectors exhibit irrational, passionate cravings (sic!)? What is the psychology behind collecting? The criteria for compulsive collecting are not definitively set out, although there are many common themes, depending on the source.
Corroboratively, some or all of the following ‘compulsive collecting ground rules’, a.k.a. ‘reasons for collecting’, may apply, regardless of the material being collected.
For sentimental attachment
To connect to childhood
To connect with history
For the thrill of the hunt
For the status of owning rare or valuable items
For the pride of ownership over spectatorship
For achievement of intellectual knowledge and learning
For personal pleasure, relaxation appreciation and enjoyment
For social motivation within a community of fellow collectors
For competitive challenge
For social recognition by other collectors and observers
To invest for future profit
For a sense of control
Unlucky thirteen. On reflection, I probably relate most closely with 1, 3, 7, 8 and 13 and I probably mostly reject 2, 5, 9, 11 and 12 (the latter very strongly). Anyone who knows me understands that I don’t play well with others and social/community affiliations are unimportant to me. The same goes for profiteering. The rest are neither here nor there. I suspect that everyone probably has a different combination of motivations for collecting. Therefore, this simple model can be quite revealing while also being limited.
In my January 2025 article, ‘10 Things I Love and Hate about Vintage Guitars’, I covered my personal motivation for the enjoyment of vintage guitars. These are independent of, though largely consistent with, the ‘compulsive collecting ground rules’ mentioned above. These, however, are specific to CRAVE Guitars gear. As a reminder, the headlines were:
The Heritage and the History
The Ownership
The Uniqueness
The Authenticity
The Variety
The Look
The Feel
The Tone
The Mythology and the Truth
The Privilege of Stewardship
“People assume that happiness stems from collecting things outside of yourself, whereas true happiness stems from removing things from inside of yourself” – Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso, 1935‑)
Collecting is a perfectly ordinary human activity. People have been collecting this or that for millennia in one form or another. There is nothing extraordinary or unhealthy about collecting as a diversion, occupation, pastime or passion. It is only when collecting morphs into something else, such as an obsessive addiction for hoarding that the activity can become psychologically problematic.
Personally, I see vintage guitar collection as a habitual hobby, not as a ‘be‑all and end‑all’ (NB. An idiom coined by William Shakespeare in ‘Macbeth’ (1606). It means that something is the final, most important or ultimate aspect of a situation or thing).
Collecting is not an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and it does not have symptoms attributable to another psychological disorder. However, the more extreme form of hoarding may be considered a subtype of OCD depending on the severity. Hoarding Disorder (the inability to manage and dispense with things) is also a distinct mental health condition with its own symptoms. Be aware of the difference, folks.
As collecting may be considered normal human behaviour, this suggests that there is something positive about it to make it defensible. It also suggests that there is a threshold that marks the boundary between normal and deviant behaviour. It also suggests that the boundary may be different for each individual, making objective evaluation somewhat challenging.
“Collecting is not just about acquiring objects, it’s about preserving history and passion” – John Doe (1953‑)
Many collectors never seem satisfied with what they already have and continually strive for ‘more’. This results in collections that continue to grow until something external intervenes to curtail progress. The ‘thrill of the hunt’ mentioned above is a very real aspect of collecting. It seems that, as soon as one owns something that has been fiercely hunted, the satisfaction wanes rapidly. At the same time, the obsession to find the next thing re‑establishes itself and the feedback loop results in a new hunt. There is therefore a cycle whereby newly acquired items soon become relegated to a sub‑class of ordinary ‘ownership’ and the quest thus continues unabated.
Neurologically, searching for ‘the next big thing’ has been demonstrated through the use of MRI brain scans to help to explain the collection compulsion called the ‘oddball effect’ (NB. yes, it is really a thing). The ‘oddball effect’ is a measurable psychological phenomenon, whereby brain activity and hormonal responses are stimulated by the introduction of a novel item into a range of normal items. As the activity of collecting becomes refined, we actively search out things missing from the collection in order to stimulate the pleasure/reward centres of the brain. At the same time, the items already collected recede into normality. Thus the process of collecting becomes exacerbated. The ‘oddball effect’ has been suggested as a reason why we feel the continual need to feed our obsessions and to expand our collections. It bears some similarities to substance addiction – finding that next fix.
“The journey of a collector is never-ending; there is always something new to discover” – Brian Selznick (1966‑)
For guitarists, this desirous activity is commonly referred to as GAS, a.k.a. Gear Acquisition Syndrome. GAS was originally thought up by American guitarist Walter Becker of Steely Dan in 1996. He used the term to expose the sometimes ridiculous ends musicians will go to, to obtain gear.
GAS is the overpowering yearning to acquire musical equipment. This symptom is common among musicians who often believe that getting hold of more gear will somehow improve their musicianship. The result of GAS is that the acquisition of physical artefacts may eventually take priority over the creative music making process. In such a a volte‑face, ultimately, the means become the end.
“Resistance is futile” – Originally from the British TV series, ‘Doctor Who, Tomb of the Cybermen’ (1967), though widely attributed to the Borg from ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation, The Best Of Both Worlds’ (1992).
It has been suggested that GAS derives from a feeling that one’s gear is inadequate leading to dissatisfaction and the development of an intense craving (sic!) for new/more gear, followed by impulsive buying beyond one’s identified need. Sellers try to exploit this cycle of unfulfilled satisfaction. Suggested remedies for GAS include an evaluation of what one already owns, establishing a budget cap and sticking to it, and to prioritise actual need as opposed to unjustifiable wants. Yeah, like that’s gonna work!
“It’s a trap!” – The character Admiral Ackbar, from the film, ‘Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi’ (1983)
Guitar Collecting and CRAVE Guitars
I, as you are probably well aware by now, ‘collect’ Cool & Rare American Vintage Electric Guitars, Basses, Effects and Amps. Yes, folks at a virtual GAS Anonymous™ meeting, “My name is CRAVE and I have a problem”. I’m beginning to accept that I have become one of those people for whom vintage guitar collecting is a reason for living (my ikigai – see my article of February 2025, ‘Ikigai and Vintage Guitars’). It seems that collecting vintage guitars has come to define me as a person, including my character, my personality and my lifestyle preferences.
Now, despite CRAVE Guitars being around as an entity since 2007 and online from 2014, it is not a large, special ‘collection’ by any stretch of the imagination. Neither is it a valuable, elite ‘collection’. It is a very modest assemblage of affordable old gear. Plenty of people have a great deal more gear than I do. The difference about CRAVE Guitars, I think, is that it is carefully curated for everyone to, hopefully, appreciate and enjoy. I wish I could also make audio files so others can experience the tone of these babies. Truth be told, I’m not a good enough musician and I genuinely don’t have the time/patience to go down that road. I would also like to provide videos and augmented reality but that is also beyond me at this stage.
“Objects are what matter. Only they carry the evidence that throughout the centuries something really happened among human beings” – Claude Levi‑Strauss (1908‑2009)
Guitar Collecting and Playing
Despite much searching and despite the fact that there are names for many obscure types of collectors, there doesn’t seem to be a name for someone who collects guitars, let alone vintage guitars. You know, like philatelists collect stamps. Heck, there isn’t even a collective noun for guitars themselves and neither is there one for guitarists. To be honest, I can’t think of a suitable noun that adequately describes the affliction. Perhaps it is time for someone to create a name for vintage guitar collectors. How about a CRAVE‑o‑holic, CRAVE‑o‑phile or CRAVEatalist? No, perhaps not. Alternative suggestions on a postcard, please.
One question that seems to come up repeatedly is whether someone is a guitar player or a guitar collector. Now, my response is along the lines of, ‘it doesn’t matter’, as the two are not mutually exclusive. As long as one is a guitar enthusiast, it matters not where one is along the continuum between the two, with most of us probably somewhere nearer the middle than one or other extreme (collectors who don’t play and players who don’t collect) – i.e. a normal distribution curve. The wonder of guitars is that players can collect and collectors can play. Many other forms of collectors don’t get that dual opportunity. For instance, going back to stamps, you can collect them but you can’t actually do much with them other than to look at, display or trade them.
Personally, I think that I play guitars first and collect guitars second. At least that is the chronological order through which I reached this point in later life. The fact that I can’t play very well is immaterial. I enjoy playing but have long realised that mastery of the instrument is beyond me, in the same way that mastery of vintage guitar collecting is also beyond me. Two trades, master of neither. Sigh.
As mentioned many times, I do not necessarily regard (or admit to) myself as a vintage guitar collector. However, a close friend confronted me on the subject and I reluctantly had to conclude that, in fact, I have fallen victim to having a collection of vintage guitars, which makes me a vintage guitar collector. Sussed again! Sigh.
“Collecting is like a treasure hunt, you never know what you might discover” – John Doe (1953‑)
Guitar Collecting and Ownership
Owning something is different from the things we own. Since time immemorial, humans have sought respect, identity and value in possessing things. Possessing something for oneself excludes the possibility that others can own the same thing. Ownership has long been associated with self‑esteem and materialism. Things, however, are not that simple. The relationship established between an individual and an object they possess can be very strong, even to the extent that sometimes the two become inseparable.
Material possessions encompass more than just owning an object. Objects can convey messages about status, power, wealth and superiority, and they are actively used to set one apart from one’s peers. Therefore, ownership becomes an integral part of personal lifestyle, community, society and, ultimately, civilisation. Ownership positions us in a pecking order within a social hierarchy. Yet the objects themselves don’t have any of the attributes we associate with owning them. In a world of infinite abundance, an object’s value is worthless, while in a world of scarcity, the same object’s value may be disproportionately high. Ownership value is therefore relative to its availability. This is another of the basics of economics.
Ownership helps us integrate into humanity, although paradoxically, ownership also separates us from others. An obsession with ownership leads to approval, envy, jealousy, resistance, control, competition conflict and outward demonstrations of self‑indulgence that subvert the humanity we so much yearn to belong to.
The psychological traits of ownership begin in childhood, continue through adolescence and becomes entrenched in adulthood, ready to be passed down succeeding generations. We are born with nothing. We take nothing with us when we die. Yet we spend a great deal of our lives in the pursuit of possessing material things.
Psychological ownership can be different from legal ownership, for instance, “that is MY parking space”. Many of us still want to own physical record or film collections despite plentiful streaming services. The cost and availability of access to streamed services, never mind the space savings, far outweigh the perceived benefits of ownership, yet many of us still want to own our own things rather than lease or borrow them from institutions.
The notion of ownership as an extension of the individual results in financial as well as emotional investment requiring decisions to be made on the basis of personal priorities. If those priorities include, for instance, the accumulation of vintage guitars, a collection becomes the ultimate manifestation of the ownership process (and it is a process, separate from the objects possessed). One person’s priorities may be of little or great interest to others, therefore possession becomes part of a like‑minded community’s self‑selection process.
There is no room here to delve into the ever more complex and fascinating issues of ownership. Suffice to say that human beings place considerable importance on possession and ownership.
Proof, if it was needed… would I relinquish the guitar collection I own? Not bloody likely! Even during the crisis years when I lost my home, my career and my self‑belief, I found a way to save and protect my vintage guitars with the help of a good friend. ‘Nuff said.
“It’s not as though you feel satisfied after collecting a certain amount of stuff. Instead, you keep thinking about what you’re missing” – Fumio Sasaki (1978‑)
Guitar Collecting and Value
Guitar collecting happens irrespective of the value of the instruments being collected. Once again, the two are not mutually exclusive. At least to me. For some, though, accruing monetary wealth it is the primary motivator and vintage guitars simply represent the currency exchange. I don’t have the means to play in the high end sand pit, so I dig in the muddy puddles of modestly priced/available vintage guitars. That’s OK by me. Affordable is good and far more grounded.
In the media, the instruments and collections that we tend to hear about are the large collections of genuinely rare (and therefore valuable) guitars. Number and value being the inversely proportional main factors. Some collections are worth a fortune with values that beggar belief. The major collectors are content to push up values with the consequence that the enthusiast becomes increasingly marginalised and/or excluded.
Then there are also the celebrity owned guitars that go for, frankly, ridiculous sums of money that we hear about from time to time. Often the two are complementary and we take notice of the largest collections worth the most amount of money. These collections tend to fall into two categories – public collections such as museums and private collections held by wealthy individuals.
I have often raised this aspect of vintage guitar collecting here. I recognise the need for public collections to document and preserve (not necessarily conserve) the historical importance of the guitar. I have anathema towards private collectors who hide the artefacts away and dare not touch them, let alone play them, in case it erodes their valuable return on investment. The latter, regular readers will know, I term the ‘collectorati’™, a pejorative term.
Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind” – Buddha (Siddhārtha Gautama – c.480‑400BCE)
Now, a Zen approach covered in my March 2025 article, ‘Eastern Concepts and Vintage Guitars’ mentioned ‘shikata ga nai’ (control what you can control) and Gaman (rising above adversity). These two philosophical tenets suggest that the way is to accept what exists (in this case, the ‘collectorati’) and focus on one’s own agenda with dignity and self‑respect. In addition, the quote from the Buddha above makes some sense and I submit to his greater wisdom. Therefore, to the Zen version of me, the ‘collectorati’ are abhorrent; however, it is not my place to abhor them. Instead, I will gain contentment from what I am able to collect and to do it with enthusiasm and humility. As a result of this rather profound and ‘spiritual’ insight, to me, value becomes irrelevant and inconsequential. I will gladly leave the detestable twin traits of greed and avarice to others. Enjoy wallowing in the filth of your dirty dollars, you can’t take then with you into the afterlife and you probably don’t genuinely enjoy them in this life.
While value is not a primary motivating factor for me, it does factor large at those points where value decisions need to be made about buying and selling part of a prized collection. So… if value is not important, would I give away my cherished vintage guitars? Not bloody likely, the sequel! Fundamentally, value has a part to play in the decision‑making process of managing and curating a collection.
“A collection is only as valuable as the knowledge and passion behind it” – John Doe (1953‑)
Guitar Collecting and Dealing
Dealers are kinda the odd one out here. They are a go‑between and a facilitator. They are a necessary evil as well, holding us all to ransom for an extra buck or two here and there. These are the bods largely responsible for feeding our collecting obsession. I kinda liken them to drug dealers hanging around school gates dangling ‘free’ baggies of tempting addictive substances just to get us hooked and then to keep us all hooked for their financial benefit. OK, perhaps that’s pushing the metaphor a bit far but you get the general idea.
“Collecting is an adventure that brings joy and excitement to everyday life” – Amelia Earhart (1897‑1937)
For many of us, guitar retailers were the starting off point for satiating GAS and encouraging us to spend beyond our means to acquire the latest shiny ‘must have’, at least until the next visit. For me, that first retailer was a long‑lost guitar shop in Worthing, West Sussex, England – infuriatingly, I cannot recall its name. While I unfairly maligned dealers in the previous paragraph, they perform an essential, if intimidating, role in the broader music industry. The world will be a worse place without them and, God forbid, that they should disappear from the high street, leaving the Internet as the only source for our particular ‘drug’.
Now, if one goes along with the widely held principle (assumption) that every guitar looks unique, every guitar plays uniquely and every guitar sounds unique, then online purchasing undermines the principle of choice and the products are confined to the status of a commodity. Extrapolating the point; if a commodity carries with it a lower emotional investment value, it becomes less satisfying in ownership and therefore more easily disposed of. A bit like buying an average car or an average house unseen and untried, if you will. This throwaway consumer society approach is the antithesis of passionate collecting,
“Collecting is a way of owning a piece of history and preserving it for future generations” – Albert Einstein (1879‑1955)
Plenty of the meccas for guitar gear such as 48th Street (Music Row) and West Village in Manhattan, NYC are a pale shadow of their previous glory, as is Denmark Street (the UK’s Tin Pan Alley) in London (following in the footsteps of Charring Cross Road and Shaftesbury Avenue). While there remain plenty of independent stores dispersed ever more thinly, the declining trend is undeniable and of great concern to neophytes and veteran collectors alike.
This tragic decline in supply is worrying, as it may possibly result in a concomitant decline in demand. If both supply and demand are suppressed, there is a resulting steep deterioration in significance.
We have eBay and Reverb to fall back on as major sources of second hand gear online. However, in the author’s experience, these are not compensating for the scarcity of brick & mortar dealers. For many of us, they have become a limited avenue for addiction.
“I love collecting guitars, even though I can’t play well” – Kiefer Sutherland (1966‑)
Examples of Vintage Guitar Collections
What follows is just a small example of the many types of vintage guitar and music history gathered into a single space. It is not intended as comprehensive, rather a modest starting point for guitar enthusiasts from which to explore the multitude of physical collections held both privately and publically.
Some Private Collections:
Jim Irsay was the owner and CEO of NFL American football team the Indianapolis Colts. He passed away on 21 May 2025, aged just 65. He had spent over 25 years creating one of the world’s leading collections of rock & roll, American history and pop culture artefacts, including some of the most iconic instruments in rock history. David Gilmour’s Black Fender Strat? A cool $3.9m. Jerry Garcia’s Tiger? $957,500. Bob Dylan’s Newport Folk Festival Fender Stratocaster? $965,000. George Harrison’s Gibson SG used on Revolver? $567,000. He also owned Kurt Cobain’s Fender Mustang and Eric Clapton’s ‘The Fool’ Gibson SG. The total value of Irsay’s collection is estimated to be well over $1bn.
Scott Chinery was an avid guitar collector who passed away in 2000. His extensive collection of over 1,000 guitars covering 150 years of guitar history remained with his family until 2021. The collection was acquired by the Archtop Foundation, a not‑for‑profit organisation based in Burlington, Vermont. The foundation’s mission is to share the collection with everyone. Chinery is perhaps best known for his portfolio of blue archtop guitars, including a web site dedicated to ‘The Blue Guitars’. The Blue Guitars
Ralph Jay Triumfo is a musician and guitar collector from the Philippines. He is regarded as owning the largest guitar collection in the world and, in fact, he holds the Guinness World Record for the largest collection of guitars, with a staggering 1,026 guitars in his possession, as of 2021.
Joe Bonamassa is a world famous blues/rock guitarist and self‑confessed vintage guitar nerd. He is also well known as one of the world’s foremost private collectors of electric guitars and amps. His collection totals well over 500 guitars, as well as around the same number of amps. What’s more, JB doesn’t hide these treasures away for himself. He takes his enviable classic guitars on the road and uses them on stage, so that everyone can appreciate the combination of his undoubted guitar playing skills and the iconic instruments that he owns. He also shares his passion online, particularly on social media.
Rick Nielsen is the guitarist of the American rock band Cheap Trick. He is believed to own upwards of 250 guitars, including many custom guitars built for him by Jol Dantzig at Hamer Guitars, such as the multi‑neck guitars that have become his trademark. Highlights include priceless 1950s Gibsons including Les Pauls, Explorers and Flying Vs.
David Gilmour was the guitarist with Pink Floyd and has a lengthy solo career. He has accumulated a massive collection of guitars over the years. Famously, in 2019, he auctioned 120 of his guitars, raising $21m for an environmental charity.
Slash – The Guns N’ Roses guitarist reportedly has a collection of over 400 guitars, including vintage Les Pauls and rare prototypes.
“Collecting is my passion” – Ursula Andress (1936‑)
Some Public Exhibitions:
What follows are just some of the public exhibitions that may be of interest to readers. The links worked at the time of publication but overtime they may become redundant. Just sayin’.
Songbirds Guitar and Pop Culture Museum, Chattanooga, Tennessee – the Songbirds museum opened in 2017 in downtown Chattanooga, TN and has more than 1,700 fretted instruments in its collection, touted as the world’s largest collection of rare and vintage guitars. The collection’s value is estimated to be in excess of $200m. Songbirds Guitar and Pop Culture Museum
The Museum of Pop Culture (MoPOP), Seattle, Washington State – originally called The Experience Music Project (EMP) was established by the late Microsoft co‑founder, Paul Allen. MoPoP, as it is now known, also houses The Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame. One of the features of the MoPoP is the giant guitar sculpture, ‘IF VI WAS IX’, as well as other guitar sculptures and music artefacts. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the museum features exhibits celebrating the music and history of Seattle including ‘local’ artists like Jimi Hendrix and Nirvana. The Museum of Pop Culture
The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (RRHOF), Cleveland, Ohio – The RRHOF, located on the bank of Lake Erie attempts to document rock history through artists, producers, engineers and others, rather than instruments. The Rock Hall (for short) was founded in 1983 by the chair of Atlantic Records, Ahmet Ertegun and the Museum was dedicated in 1995. While the focus is not on guitars, there is a diverse range of artefacts covering the evolution of modern music. The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
C.F. Martin & Company Museum, Nazareth, Pennsylvania – More than 100 guitars are on display, including the first Martin guitar, the earliest Dreadnoughts and Kurt Cobain’s prized D-18 dreadnought acoustic. Unsurprisingly, it is a venue for fans of Martin guitars, as well as those seeking insights of historical importance. If you aren’t into Martins, you may want to seek an alternative. C.F. Martin & Company Museum
Delta Blues Museum, Clarksdale, Mississippi – The Delta Blues Museum was originally established in 1979 and became a standalone museum in 1999, homed in the historic Clarksdale rail freight depot. The museum is dedicated to preserving interest in the story of the blues, following the blues masters and their historical journey from the deep south of the USA to become a worldwide phenomenon. Delta Blues Museum
National GUITAR Museum, Bradenton, Florida – The NGM was the first American museum dedicated to the history, evolution, and cultural impact of the guitar. The museum has touring exhibitions that focus on a unique aspect of the guitar’s historical role in popular culture. Each touring exhibition is curated by the museum and includes artefacts from its permanent collection. National GUITAR Museum
The Gallery of Iconic Guitars (GIG), Belmont, Nashville, Tennessee – The museum at Belmont University was founded following the death of collector Steven Kern Shaw in 2015 and is supported by vintage guitar expert, George Gruhn. GIG aims to celebrate some of the rarest and most iconic guitars as well as other stringed instruments. The collection comprises over 500 rare guitars and mandolins valued at over $10.5m. The Gallery of Iconic Guitars
Museum of Musical Instruments (MIM), Phoenix, Arizona – Hank Risan is a collector and founder of the museum’s collection that focuses on the instruments played every day by people worldwide. The museum, which opened in 2010, comprises over 7,500 instruments from across the globe. Museum of Musical Instruments
Metropolitan Museum of Art (The Met), Manhattan, New York City – Coming to The Met in the spring of 2027 will be a rotating exhibition of historically important guitars focusing on American guitar making from 1920‑1970, donated to the museum by Dirk Ziff, an American billionaire publishing heir and financier, working with vintage guitar connoisseur Perry Margouleff. Nearly 600 guitars have been donated and around 150‑170 will be on display at any one time. Be prepared to have your mind blown in 2 years’ time. Metropolitan Museum of Art
The Smithsonian National Museum of American History – The Smithsonian is based in Washington, DC. It is home to the museum’s collection of over 500 guitars. Sadly, the dedicated hall of musical instruments exhibition closed in October 2012. However, the museum collection includes many stringed instruments of historical significance. The Smithsonian National Museum of American History
Hard Rock Café – Hard Rock is an international chain of hotels, theme bar/restaurants, memorabilia shops, casinos, sports venues and museums founded in 1971 by Isaac Tigrett and Peter Morton in London, England. In addition to many artist‑owned instruments and rock ephemera displayed in numerous settings across the world, Hard Rock opened two dedicated Hard Rock Vaults in London and Orlando, Florida in 1979, featuring rare and valuable guitars and other rock memorabilia. Hard Rock Café
Seven Decades, London, England – A British innovation co‑created by vintage guitar collectors and musicians, Phillip Hylander and Michael John Ross. The premium collection of vintage guitars is played by the Seven Decades Band in live stage shows mainly in London but also travelling around the country. The shows give audiences the opportunity to see and hear vintage instruments being used for their intended purpose. The concerts take place at events such as guitar shows as well as at national venues such as the Victoria & Albert (V&A) Museum in London. ‘The Story of Three Guitars That Changed The World’ focused on the Fender Telecaster, Fender Stratocaster and Gibson Les Paul. The shows cover music from 1950s’ rock & roll to the present day, including genres such as rockabilly, country, heavy metal, punk and disco. Seven Decades
The Royal College of Music Museum, London, England – The RCM was originally founded in 1882 and the museum was re‑opened in 2021 as a world leading music conservatoire. The museum collection currently comprises over 14,000 musical artefacts covering instruments, art and music related objects, including the earliest known guitar. The Royal College of Music Museum
Guitars the Museum, Umeå, Sweden – Guitars the Museum was opened in 2014 and hosts the world’s largest collection of rare 1950s and 1960s guitars. The collection comprises more than 500 vintage guitars on public display, with estimates putting the collection’s value at over $10million. The museum remains a not very well kept secret among vintage guitar aficionados. Guitars the Museum
Tamworth National Guitar Museum, Tamworth, Australia – ‘The Big Golden Guitar’ is a 12m high fibreglass statue located at Tamworth Visitor Information Centre, which also houses the Australian National Guitar Museum. Tamworth National Guitar Museum
“Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff” – Frank Zappa (1940‑1993)
A Few Clichéd & Corny Puns about Guitar Collecting
Sadly, my research only turned up a few bad relevant jokes. I am afraid that most guitar players will already know these.
Why did the guitarist bring home yet another guitar? Because his guitar collection has been missing “just one more” for the last ten years.
How do you know a guitar collector is lying? He says, “I have enough guitars for now”
I asked my dad if he could leave his guitar collection to my children when he dies. He said, “That’s music to my heirs”
A woman on trial accused of beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asked, “First offender?” The woman replies, “No, first a Gibson, then a Fender”
You know you’re a guitarist when you’ve got more guitars than clean socks
If you know how many guitars you have, you don’t have enough
If anyone says you have too many guitars… block that person immediately. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life
My greatest fear is that when I die my wife will sell my guitars for what I told her I paid for them
“I’ve got too many guitars” said no guitarist ever!
I don’t suffer from Guitar Acquisition Syndrome, I enjoy every minute of it
The formula you have to determine how many guitars you need; the number of guitars you currently have, plus 1
Guitar collectors don’t have problems – they have limited storage space and an expanding wish list!
How do you make a guitar collector cry? Tell them their dream guitar was listed for sale… yesterday.
How do you know a guitarist is also a collector? Their collection is worth more than their car!
What does a guitar collector bring to a desert island? Six guitars and no survival skills whatsoever
Guitar collectors don’t retire… they just spend more time ‘investing’ in their collection!
Why do guitar collectors always seem broke? Because ‘affordable’ is a relative term
My wife said I have too many guitars. I said, “No, I have a diverse collection of tonal possibilities”. She said, “Well, I have a diverse collection of divorce lawyers”
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I apologise profusely.
Final Thoughts on the Compulsion to Collect Vintage Guitars
Basically, there are no hard and fast rules to compulsion, collecting and vintage guitars. Most of it is subjective and far from definitive (a recurring issue with these articles). Everyone will have their own motivations for collecting, methods of collecting and justification for the ownership of their personal collection. What does come through is the sheer diversity of vintage guitar collections across the world, of which this article is just the tiny tip of a very large iceberg.
Why did I opt to collect vintage guitars and turn them into an online entity? Well, I didn’t plan it that way, I kinda fell into it and over time it germinated organically (metaphorically speaking) and it grew into what it is now. I’ve covered the appeal of vintage guitars in the last three articles, so I won’t re‑iterate that here. The reason CRAVE Guitars exists and is an online resource is mainly to share these artefacts with the wider world. I could do the objectionable ‘collecterati’ thing and keep them to myself but what’s the point in that? Heritage needs sharing.
It is immaterial how small or large a collection might be – there is an infinite variety along that continuum. Contrary to popular female beliefs, size really doesn’t matter where vintage guitar collections are concerned. What matters is that there are people (like me) conserving the heritage and acting as stewards for future generations. The financial value of a collection is irrelevant to all but the heinous investors and, once again, there is an infinite variety along this continuum.
“Collecting is a never-ending journey of discovery and learning” – Sir David Attenborough (1926‑)
So, is it better to own a single high value vintage guitar or a shed load of low value ones? There is no right or wrong answer to that specific question. Would I trade in my entire so‑so ‘collection’ for one great guitar? Nope. If anyone approached me to sell the enterprise as a going concern, would I consider a reasonable offer? Nope. I wouldn’t know how much CRAVE Guitars is worth as an entity. If I had to start over again, would I choose guitars differently? Possibly not. If I could go back in time to being that naïve teenager again, would I ever have predicted that I would be in this position in 2025? Nope. Would I have done things differently? Indubitably.
Each to their own. Discuss…
CRAVE Guitars is limited by three things – space, funds and availability. I can’t see any of those three things changing any time soon. The current ‘most wanted’ list exceeds 50 vintage guitars but that hasn’t been updated in a long time because there is no point in pursuing any more acquisitions at the moment. That list just covers guitars, never mind basses, effects and amps. Compared to the professional collections, CRAVE Guitars is miniscule. However, it is my pride and joy and I am content of what I have been able to achieve given circumstances.
Can the desire to accumulate guitar gear ever be satiated? Possibly, but I am afraid that I will probably never know or find out. Like the junky being cured of addiction – life just doesn’t work that way. We may be able to live with it but we cannot overcome it. My view is that once one has been smitten, the course of ownership is irreversible.
One thing seems irrefutable, the compulsion to collect vintage guitars is a very real thing and it ain’t gonna stop anytime soon, at least for me. Good and long may it continue. Otherwise, I would have very little to write about each month. Enjoy your own personal journey.
“A collector’s passion can turn ordinary objects into extraordinary treasures” – Pablo Picasso (1881‑1973)
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’
It seems appropriate for there to be a link between the article and the ‘album of the month’. Given the considerable relationship of one individual, his dedication to playing music and his not‑insignificant collection of vintage instruments, this month, we go for…
Joe Bonamassa – Dust Bowl (2011): ‘Dust Bowl’ is the 9th studio album by blues rock guitarist Joe Bonamassa. The album, comprising 12 tracks over 63 minutes, was released in March 2011 on Mascot Records. I don’t really have a favourite JB album, so ‘Dust Bowl’ is the one that tends to draw me in. Great cover art too, based on an image by American Depression‑era photographer Arthur Rothstein (1915‑1985), entitled, ‘Dust Storm, Cimarron County Oklahoma’ (1936). Very fitting for the music, which is exemplary, as is the norm for a guitar star.
Joe Bonamassa – Dust Bowl (2011)
There are many albums by the prolific guitarist and vintage gear collector. Any are well worth tracking down and giving a listen, if only to be gobsmacked by the dude’s awesome guitar playing. Critics may put his music down to straightforward blues/rock but in the 2020s, lord knows we need guitar heroes who know their chops and Bonamassa is one of those, probably the best since the late Stevie Ray Vaughan.
BELIEVE IN MUSIC!
“Collecting is a way of expressing your personality and interests” – Audrey Hepburn (1929‑1993)
Tailpiece
Another month, another article. It is becoming increasingly challenging to come up with a variety of topics and to keep things fresh interesting. I do hope that this one doesn’t disappoint. Who knows how long I can keep this streak going. Next month, another article, different subject. Let’s see what happens, eh?
I am still failing dismally in curtailing monthly blog articles in order to concentrate on ‘The Distortion Diaries’. Give me strength to prioritise and try harder. I hope to have some news on that front in due course.
In the meantime, I hope we all survive this perilous Earthly existence. We should be able to live, not just survive. We need to be able to live and have the opportunity to live better. Even more importantly, we should be able to thrive and flourish as individuals, communities and civilisation, not just survive. Time to live, then. Life is genuinely too short not to. Have FUN when you can.
Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. Until next time…
CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “There is light at the end of the tunnel… unless it is at night or you have your eyes closed”
