30 Mar 2026

March 2026 – CRAVE Island Castaway Part I: Vintage Gear

by | posted in: History, Introduction, Observations, Opinion | 0

Prelude

A WONDERFULLY WARM WELCOME to springtime great world citizens. Spring is my favourite season of the year. It signifies newness, rejuvenation, growth, freshness and the promise of warmer days and lighter evenings for a few months (at least here in the cool temperate region of the northern hemisphere). Nature is a wonderful thing and something not only to be valued but also marvelled at for its diversity and perpetuity. Without it, we’d be doomed. Talking of which…

Just when you thought the outright insanity of conflicted malevolent states couldn’t get any worse, wholesale recklessness won out and we have even worse devastation, many more dead innocents, instability and incalculable money irrevocably wasted on killing and destruction. I would argue that such precious resources should be used to advance humanity and solve the world’s inequalities. I am beginning to doubt that common sense will prevail any time soon, if ever. Yes, I am angry and, unfortunately, I am powerless to do anything about it. Civilisation needs civilised leaders. Humanity needs humane leaders. Society needs sane leaders. Communities need caring leaders. What we have in 2026 are not leaders, they are monsters; very, very real and very, very dangerous monsters. Take heed before it is too late for us all.

“Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime” – Ernest Hemmingway (1899‑1961)

This Month at CRAVE Guitars…

This time around, I had to do some simple soul‑searching and reach some sort of selection about what vintage gear I would choose if I only had a limited number of options.

For the record, I don’t like having to divide vintage gear into favourites and not favourites. It’s a bit like having to choose your favourite child. Each CRAVE instrument has been selected for its individual characteristics and each has its merits. Each one also has its detriments. I do not believe that there is a ‘perfect’ guitar. However, I set this challenge simply as a hypothetical exercise and the outcome may well be different tomorrow, next month, next year, etc.

From CRAVE Guitars’ modest vintage guitar gear ‘collection’, there are a few choice picks – guitars, a bass and effects that I keep going back to, enjoy playing, love the sound of, gaze at longingly just because they are beautiful objects and, importantly, ones that I have developed a particular and deep connection with over the years.

This article is a bit of a reprise. Kind of. Way, way back in September 2015, not long after CRAVE Guitars became a virtual as well as a real entity, I published an article, ‘My Top 10 Vintage Guitars (So Far)’. It is that bracketed pair of words that gives an entry point into reviewing that selection and updating it now, over a decade later. Back in 2015, I narrowed guitars down to makes and headline models, not specific variants, for instance Gibson Les Paul or Fender Stratocaster. Here is the link to the original 2015 Article (link opens in new browser tab)…

Article – September 2015 – My Top 10 Vintage Guitars (So Far)

This time, I’m going to be a bit more specific and a bit harsher. Now, the Top 10 covers not just guitars but also vintage guitars, basses, effects and amps. This article represents a narrower selection from a broader assortment. I couldn’t tell you how many items I had back in 2015 (or even now), but the overall totals have probably doubled – give or take – over the last 11 years.

“Make an island of yourself, make yourself your refuge; there is no other refuge. Make truth your island, make truth your refuge; there is no other refuge” – Buddha (Siddhārtha Gautama – c.480‑400BCE)

The Rationale for the Article

I have chosen the ‘marooned on a tropical desert island’ approach here because it provides for a more positive decision‑making process, rather than the desperately negative ‘in a burning building, which one(s) would you save’. The latter, by definition, means that I would have to sacrifice the rest to irrevocable destruction (please forgive the split infinitive on this occasion), which I just couldn’t contemplate.

A tropical desert island may not be an ideal environment for conserving vintage gear, and securing a reliable and consistent electrical supply might prove challenging. This is therefore purely a case of conjecture and an exercise in entertainment. Welcome to CRAVE Island.

I’m sticking to a cap of 10 pieces of kit, simply as an arbitrary number. Choosing less would be overly restrictive, choosing more would basically be a broad reflection of the CRAVE Guitars family. A figure had to be set, so 10 it is.

Assuming that there are no perfect guitars means that all of the ones listed have their idiosyncrasies. So it is personal predilection that promotes the ‘chosen few’ to a considered conclusion. A selective approach may raise the question of whether the rest of CRAVE Guitars could be divested? Nope. I may consider trading up in a few cases because I want to, not because I have to.

Although I didn’t need to, I have used The CRAVEman as a vehicle to emphasise the nonsense of the concept in the first place. Rather than carry out this task at his home community of CRAVE Town in CRAVEland (see the November 2025 article, ‘The CRAVEman Cometh… Back’), The CRAVEman is embarking on a two‑month solo offshore excursion to the remote tropical desert destination of CRAVE Island. Ridiculous? Of course! Delusional? Obviously! C’mon, what did you expect?

As usual AI was used to generate The CRAVEman’s images this month. No AI was used for the narrative and the vintage guitar images are 100% genuine. This month’s ‘quotes of wisdom’ are about desert island life.

“You can’t totally rebel, otherwise you have to go live on your own, on a desert island. It’s as simple as that” – Patrick McGoohan (1928‑2009)

The CRAVEman’s Top Ten Desert Island Vintage Gear

So, with just 10 pieces of gear to pack and transport to the metaphorical paradise of CRAVE Island, it was as difficult job deciding what to take and what to leave behind. However, having determined the criteria, one has to comply with the rules. Without further ado, here are ‘the chosen few’ (in alphabetic order – links open in new browser tab)…

1965 Fender Jaguar – There is something gloriously captivating about Fender’s offsets whether the Jaguar or its sibling the Jazzmaster, and even the Electric XII or Bass VI. Leo got it spot on with this design. It was a very close run between the Jaguar and Jazzmaster. The Jaguar edged ahead because of its more striking aesthetic and, because I have short stubby fingers, the shorter scale just suits my hands better. The Brazilian rosewood fingerboard is sublime. Oh, it feels so good to play and it sounds exquisite, edging out the Jazzmaster for me… just. While I’d love a custom colour, the standard 3‑colour sunburst still looks gorgeous. It is a bit on the heavy side and the vibrato/bridge takes a bit of getting used to but such foibles are easily tolerated.

Feature – 1965 Fender Jaguar

1972 Fender Telecaster Thinline – The original mass produced solid body electric guitar launched in 1951, the Telecaster, is an undoubted and enduring classic. This year is its 75th anniversary and the archetype remains largely unchanged to this day. The 1970s saw several variants like the Telecaster Deluxe, Custom and the utterly stunning Thinline, my personal favourite. It just looks so ‘right’ with its single f‑hole (it is only part hollowed out), the natural finish, a groovy pearloid pickguard and those amazing wide range Seth Lover‑designed humbucking pickups. The latter really make the Telecaster Thinline sound grown up and fundamentally different from its workhorse progenitor. I prefer rosewood fingerboards but on this guitar, maple works very nicely thank you and it feels just as right as it looks and sounds. It’s light, functional and organic as well as beautiful.

Feature – 1972 Fender Telecaster Thinline

1963 Gibson ES‑330 – Gibson has released several ES (Electric Spanish) guitars over the decades (going back to the original ES‑150 in 1936). However, it was the thinline ES‑335 that really broke the semi‑acoustic into the contemporary mainstream, where it is considered a flexible workhorse suited to most styles. However, for my money, it is the 335’s close relative, the fully hollow ES‑330 that won me over. It is lighter and more resonant than the heavier centre‑block 335 and its pair of wonderful P90 pickups set it apart with its own distinctive voice. OK, so the neck joins the body at the 16th rather than the 335’s 19th fret but who cares when the rest of the package is so wonderful. It is a breeze to play. Even the factory Bigsby vibrato suits the image and it stays in tune. It may feedback in high gain, high sound pressure level environments but those don’t really exist anymore. As a result, the ES‑330 is rightly being re‑evaluated. Oh and it looks the part – one of the prettiest guitar designs out there.

Feature – 1963 Gibson ES‑330

1982 Gibson Explorer CMT – I have said on many occasions that the Gibson Explorer is probably my favourite solid body guitar. They are far better than the one‑trick pony image that one might think them to be. Original Explorers from the 1950s and early 1960s are mouth wateringly expensive, so it is the subsequent reissues that make the grade here. CRAVE Guitars has five (!) Explorers and they are all great in their own ways. My choice, though, is the first one I acquired, the stunningly beautiful CMT (not E2, as on the truss rod cover) with its single piece flame maple sunburst top and ebony fingerboard. It is seriously heavy, which is possibly its only notable drawback. It is probably not a go‑to guitar for a function band but for that’s an irrelevancy. Just as well I don’t play in one then. The renowned Gibson ‘Dirty Fingers’ humbucking pickups balance power and finesse spectacularly well. If this were a car, it would be a V8 Ford Mustang.

Feature – 1982 Gibson Explorer CMT

1968 Gibson SG Standard – Back in 2015, I selected CRAVE Guitars’ Gibson SG Junior with its wonderfully gritty single P90 pickup and baseball bat neck. Now, in 2026, the Junior was up against the SG Standard, another guitar that looks so ‘right’ and feels even better. The Standard doesn’t deliver the raw, visceral inspiration of the Junior but what it does bring to the table is more refinement and versatility. The ‘devil horns’ are still evocative and modern looking over 60 years after it was introduced as a Les Paul Model replacement in 1961. Upper fret access is possibly the best of any mainstream Gibson, making the mahogany neck potentially vulnerable. The SG Standard is light, resonant and, while a touch neck heavy, it is a joy to play, sounds fabulous and looks the part with its great cherry finish. For all of that, the Standard edged out the Junior. Just.

Feature – 1968 Gibson SG Standard

1962 National Glenwood 95 – Sometimes a guitar comes along that breaks the rules in more than one way. In the early 1960s, National released a fibreglass (Res‑o‑Glas) hollow body with single coil pickups and a stunning futuristic/retro design, loosely based on the outline of the lower 48 US states. Just look at those ‘butterfly’ fingerboard inlays too. Purists will condemn it for its lack of a tone wood body and ‘classic’ pickups, but they are missing the point. National dared to be different and, in my view, succeeded. It was brazen and radical and all the better for it. Not only does it look superb, it also plays very nicely despite not having an adjustable truss rod. No tone wood. No problem. Not here anyway. Perhaps the pickups can sound a bit lean compared to the best (not great for heavy metal!) but who’s arguing? Stunning.

Feature – 1962 National Glenwood 95

1978 Music Man Stingray Bass – Onto CRAVE Basses. 2026 is the 50th anniversary of the Music Man Stingray bass. Yep, almost unbelievable. Music Man is what Leo Fender did after he sold the company that bears his name and had fulfilled his contractual obligation not to do anything else for 10 years after selling Fender to CBS. The Stingray may bear some resemblance to the Fender Precision but it is a very different beast with its single humbucking bridge pickup and active on‑board electronics. After a brief period, Leo moved on to G&L and Music Man was bought out by Ernie Ball. The Stingray, however is still going strong today with a solid and enviable reputation amongst professional bass players and enthusiasts alike. It is a great funky bass that still stands out from the crowd and sits head and shoulders above many of its peers. I bought this one from the UK importer before it ever reached retail, so I am still the original owner. Very cool.

Feature – 1978 Music Man Stingray Bass

1977 Electro-Harmonix Big Muff Pi – Moving onto CRAVE Effects, my all‑time favourite effect pedal is probably the EHX Big Muff Pi. I have owned this one from new and its all‑out manic signature fuzz is just insane with massive amounts of awesome personality. There was, and still is, nothing quite like a (vintage) Big Muff. It sounds just superb and suits my weird musical tastes to a tee. Subtle it is not. It sounds even better when it interacts with other effects like a cool (Electro‑Harmonix) flanger and echo (a.k.a. analogue delay – see below). Think of Ernie Isley’s guitar solo from, ‘Summer Breeze’ (1974) by The Isley Brothers and you begin to get the idea. Marvellously mad and crazily kooky from Electro‑Harmonix’s pioneering founder Mike Matthews, based in New York City since 1968.

Feature – 1977 Electro-Harmonix Big Muff Pi

1977 Electro-Harmonix Deluxe Memory Man – Like the EHX Big Muff Pi above, I have owned this superb all‑analogue ‘bucket‑brigade device’ Deluxe Memory Man delay pedal since new. It pairs with the fuzz in an almost symbiotic fashion. This list is limited, otherwise I would also have included the Electro‑Harmonix Electric Mistress flanger. If you want far out psych, organically natural echo or dubby atmospherics, the Memory Man is there for you. It is easily pushed into OTT regeneration. OK, so the delay is limited to around 300‑400ms – short by today’s digital standards. It sounds organic and doesn’t provide pristine digital delay but when it sounds this good, it’s not really an issue. For me, the Deluxe Memory Man is an indispensable creative tool in a hypothetical desert island situation.

Feature – 1977 Electro-Harmonix Deluxe Memory Man

1973 Fender Princeton Reverb – While the diminutive single channel hand‑wired valve amp with its 10” speaker is almost perfect for guitar, it isn’t really robust enough to take on the Music Man Bass. However, as this is a make‑believe scenario, that’s kinda irrelevant. The Fender Princeton has a long history dating back to 1946 and it came with or without reverb. For me, the reverb is a ‘good to have’ facility along with the (rather weak) tremolo (erroneously called vibrato). I don’t care that it has the 1970s’ ‘silverface’ control panel, I really don’t. For me, it is the ideal small amp and only just beats the Music Man 210 Sixty‑Five. It is small, (relatively) light and sounds absolutely fantastic. Pushing a small Fender valve amp into overdrive can sound just as satisfying as a Marshall stack in the right setting and far more portable. It may not be the loudest amp out there but it is an organically dynamic masterpiece.

Feature – 1973 Fender Princeton Reverb

So there you go, a worthy ‘Top 10’ of vintage gear comprising 6 guitars, 1 bass, 2 effects and 1 amp. While I would have preferred to take all of CRAVE Guitars’ vintage gear to CRAVE Island, the selection arguably represents the pinnacle of the ‘collection’, at least at the time of writing. I expect that the selection would be different at a different time and will no doubt be different(‑ish) at some point in the future when this exercise is (possibly) repeated in another decade or so. In the meantime, I’d better start looking for a power socket.

Interestingly, things haven’t changed that much from 2015. Back then, I selected the following 10 guitars:

  1. Gibson SG
  2. Gibson Explorer
  3. Fender Telecaster
  4. Gibson Les Paul
  5. Fender Jazzmaster
  6. Fender Mustang
  7. Gibson Firebird
  8. Fender Stratocaster
  9. Gibson Melody Maker
  10. Gibson ES‑330

A little bit of consistency was probably to be expected and quite notable. This time, it was even harder as there was a smaller number of guitars selected from a much larger number of possible options. Back in 2015, the article was all about guitars and didn’t cover basses, effects or amps. Eleven years ago, there simply wasn’t CRAVE Basses, CRAVE Effects or CRAVE Amps, so things have definitely moved on a bit and for the better.

The ‘top ten’ aren’t the rarest or most valuable CRAVE Guitars. That wasn’t the objective or one of the criteria used. Cool and rare to a point – monetary value simply isn’t important to me, except when buying of course. Many critics might condemn the selection because there isn’t a Fender Stratocaster, Gibson Les Paul or Fender Bass. I’m OK with that – after all, it is my selection. No blasphemy here folks. Make up your own scenarios to satisfy your own predispositions.

“Living in a society, instead of on a desert island, does not relieve a man of the responsibility of supporting his own life” – Ayn Rand (1905‑1982)

Final Thoughts about The CRAVEman’s Top Ten Desert Island Vintage Gear

This article has focused on guitars, basses, effects and amps drawn from CRAVE Guitars’ ‘collection’. This might not reflect what my ‘top ten’ might be if the pool from which the selection was made was much, much larger. What if I could choose any ten items regardless of whether I owned them or not? What would that ‘top ten’ be? How would it differ?

Well, that is speculative and therefore irrelevant to this exercise, so I’m not going there at this point. How could I possibly say what would be my ideal when I don’t have access to the items or have the opportunity to build a working relationship with them? One might have some ideal aspiration, only to find out that there would be no synergy with it. Relying on some sort of unjustified anticipation of what something may be like is no guarantee of anything at all. An ideal might turn out to be a great disappointment, while something seemingly innocuous may turn out to be a complete revelation. That, my good people, is part of the fascination with vintage guitar gear and why I love it as much as I do.

“The heart of a man is very much like the sea, it has its storms, it has its tides, and in its depths, it has its pearls too” – Vincent Van Gogh (1853‑1890)

There are plenty of instruments on CRAVE Guitars’ ‘most wanted’ list but just how essential are those desirables to achieving some sort of nirvana or personal actualisation? I would posture that it is impossible to say definitively. I am very content with what I have and very grateful to be in the fortunate position to possess what I already own. I am humble in the midst of abundance. Any further additions to CRAVE Guitars/Basses/Effects/Amps, I would now regard as ‘icing on the cake’.

Thus, I don’t think I want to enter into any sort of speculation as to what any sort of theoretical ‘top ten’ might be or whether it would be hugely different anyway. I might return to explore the whys and wherefores of some ‘most wanted’ vintage gear at some point in the future.

Just a thought… How did The CRAVEman end up on a desert island in the first place, you may well ask? Why? And how did he get home again? Well, if you’ve seen The CRAVEman in action before, you’ll know that the concept of the Stone Age Rock God requires a significant suspension of disbelief on the part of the onlooker. The foundational basis of The CRAVEman is plainly ridiculous in the first instance, so how could anyone be surprised in the slightest about what el jefe does?

As previously mentioned, the hyper‑fictional escapades of The CRAVEman are presented purely for your amusement, even if the core basis of the article is more serious, factual and impartial. The CRAVEman images may be AI generated and all the errors and inconsistencies within them are part and parcel of his fanciful virtual existence. Just go with the flow and it’s more fun. Please. Everything else is real.

“What a splendid king you’d make of a desert island – you and you alone” – Sophocles (c.497/496‑406/405BCE)

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’

In Part II of this series, I will be exploring what music The CRAVEman might listen to on his tropical desert island. What I don’t want to do is to pre‑empt that exercise now, so here I shall select an album that exudes the almost‑spiritual and evocative vibes that would be fitting for the confinement and solitude of CRAVE Island. Given that premise, it was quite easy to select some appropriate Jamaican reggae. Desert island music, I believe, needs something upbeat, positive, uplifting and profoundly conscious in its underlying messages. It is a very familiar album for once – I don’t usually go for popular, commercially successful mainstream albums – and still a great one. This month’s accolade goes to…

Bob Marley & The Wailers – Exodus (1977): ‘Exodus’ was the ninth studio album from Robert Nesta Marley (1945‑1981) and his band, released in June 1977 on Island Records. It may not be a perfect studio album but one with so many highpoints that the overall impact is entirely positive. The original album is slight, at just 10 tracks covering 37 minutes. The opening track, ‘Natural Mystic’ provides a sublime entry point, leading into many other gems of faith, political and emotional treasure. The title track closes the first ‘half’ of the album. Marley’s close associates, Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer had left the band in 1974, leaving Bob Marley as the main focus. Strangely, ‘Exodus’ was not recorded in Kingston, Jamaica but in London, UK, following a failed assassination attempt in 1976 when Marley was shot in a home invasion that forced him to leave his homeland temporarily. It was this album that effectively launched Bob Marley to international stardom, creating a genuine legend in the process.

An atmospheric album that is just right for a balmy desert island beach at dusk after the sun has set and just as the stars begin to blink into visibility, the sky prismatic and incandescent above the horizon of a tranquil moonlight‑reflected sea. Some reggae can be transcendent and that is the case with this month’s masterpiece from a genuine Jamaican icon. The author was lucky enough to visit Jamaica in 2008 and can testify to the idyll, as well as to the day‑to‑day challenges that the Jamaican population face. Irie mon.

BELIEVE IN MUSIC!

“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever” – Jacques Cousteau (1910‑1997)

Tailpiece

I hope you’ve enjoyed a reflective trip into a fabricated tropical paradise where The CRAVEman passes his time with some of his precious vintage gear for company. Personally, it is a situation that I wouldn’t mind experiencing myself. Seclusion as a lifestyle choice is something to be treasured and protected. I would relish it. The reality of survival on a deserted island in the tropics, as one might expect, is not the heaven‑on‑Earth utopia one might wish for. Thus, it is purely a notional creation for your enjoyment.

“Nature once determined how we survive. Now we determine how nature survives” – David Attenborough (1926‑)

As the title of this article suggests, this is part one of two complementary pieces. While this one looked at vintage guitar gear, used to create music, the next one will take a selection of existing music and use it to compile a desert island playlist for The CRAVEman to enjoy when he isn’t playing his own compositions. We will return to CRAVE Island and I hope you’ll return for part two.

Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. The CRAVEman, signing off for now. Until next time…

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “And so the wind blows and the rain pours down on the wicked and good alike”

© 2026 CRAVE Guitars – Love Vintage Guitars.

 

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30 Nov 2025

November 2025 – The CRAVEman Cometh… Back

by | posted in: Fiction | 0

SENSATIONAL SEASONAL SALUTATIONS AND SANGUINE SIMPLICITY this month. A simple salute from a simple somebody with a simple suggestion and a simple story to share. The simple salute is to welcome you once again to the weird and sometimes whacky world of CRAVE Vintage Guitars (or CVG – a new acronym for short! NB. Nothing to do with the 3‑letter Airport Code for Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport). The simple suggestion is an urgent restatement to respect and protect our shared home planet as well as to inject some much‑needed humanity into our fracturing civilisation. The simple story, which will unfold in due course, is a return to a realm of familiar fanciful fun and further fabricated frivolity (with just a simple soupçon of audaciously absurd alliteration, always).

Prelude

So, without further ado, we shall progress on to the simple story. There is not a lot about vintage guitars this month. Instead, the subject matter will return to focus on the simple founder, frontman and heralded hero of CRAVE Guitars. You have met him before and now he’s back for more. I am talking about the one and only The CRAVEman. He may be a simple soul but he has a keen sense of integrity, humility, morals, ethics, valour and an unfailing commitment to nurturing his nascent cherished community. What a guy! Perhaps this article should be called ‘The Awesome Adventures of The CRAVEman’. Seriously though, what’s not to like?

However, I do recognise that this sort of fictional fable may not be to everyone’s taste, so no grudges will be sustained should you wish to defer allocating your intellect to other matters this month and come back when there is something a little more, well, factual and grounded. Not much in the way of tortuous narrative this month; but lots of images for your diligent delectation.

“I cannot say who, precisely, came up with the idea of a Stone Age family” – Joseph Barbera (1911‑2006)

Previously on ‘The CRAVEman Cometh’

You may recall, back in July 2025, that ‘el jefe’ and nom de guerre of CRAVE Guitars was revealed to world in ‘The CRAVEman Cometh’ If you want to revisit his introduction and early exploits, follow the link below (opens in a new tab).

July 2025 – The CRAVEman Cometh

Due to popular demand (well, predominantly my own tbh), I have decided that The CRAVEman deserved a second outing to build on the mythology and to expand on the CRAVEworld (it doesn’t warrant a CRAVEverse yet because, well, he’s a stone age relic isn’t he?). It is here that he strives to eke out an existence within his small semi‑nomadic group while, at the same time, seeking to advance his musical aspirations. I hope you enjoy spending some light‑hearted time with the laudable leader and Rock Guitar God of his prehistoric people.

Full disclosure, the original images for this article were produced using AI and edited (I won’t claim ‘enhanced’) by me. There are a lot of inconsistencies and visual errors that have been left intentionally untouched. The reason for this is twofold. The first is to highlight that AI still has a very long way to go before its outputs can be regarded as genuinely credible. The second is that the faults actually add some fun ‘spot the mistakes’ and continuity flops (as well as, arguably, some peculiar, anomalous charm) to the ridiculous falsity of the whole product. What I will say is that, if creative AI tools weren’t available as a means to an end, there would be no adventures of the The CRAVEman.

Regular readers will know about my observations and opinions on the evolution and utility of AI, highlighting the potential benefits and significant risks of the fledgling technology. This is not the place to reiterate those views. Let’s face it, The CRAVEman is about as artificial as can be, so what’s the harm in representing him artificially through a bit of reflexive irony and satire? Given the evidence presented below, I recommend that you make up your own mind about the divisive worth of AI, past, present and future.

As ever, though, the words are 100% human with no AI intervention whatsoever. I still need to control something. As with the previous prehistoric expedition, a substantial suspension of disbelief is an absolute prerequisite for your investment to be repaid. I must stress that this tawdry tale and imaginary interlude is for entertainment purposes only. There are no serious real‑world insights whatsoever, just rampant ridiculous unreality. Do not try this at home, folks!

“The latest refinements of science are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age” – Winston Churchill (1874‑1965)

Welcome to CRAVEland (Geography of The CRAVEman’s Domain)

Last time around, we followed The CRAVEman on his adventures in his tribe’s territory. This month, it is time to explore quite what that territory is and why it is so important to his community’s social culture and wellbeing. The clan is essentially a co‑operative with only informal leadership and followers providing any sort of class structure. You may recognise some of the characteristics from The CRAVEman’s previous adventures.

The CRAVEman’s world is located in a Stone Age cool temperate climate generally characterised by warm summers and mild winters with moderate rainfall throughout the year. Temperate regions are found between the tropics and the polar regions. Depending on how far north (or south) one goes, temperate climates are divided into warm temperate and cool temperate regions.

The CRAVEman, along with his compatriots live in a small commune unsurprisingly called CRAVE Town in a region known as CRAVEland. CRAVE Town comprises a group of humble caves situated at the foot of a small but significant mountain range. His hunting grounds include not only the mountains but also the forest, grassland, rivers and sea. All in all, CRAVE Town is a great place for a tribal community to settle, survive and thrive with many natural resources close at hand, such as shelter, security and access to abundant food and water.

There are few serious dangers to impact on the tribe’s wellbeing and prosperity. Wild animals and competing neighbouring tribes from the other side of the mountain range result in occasional risks to their livelihood but, on the whole, peace prevails.

To all intents and purposes, the extent of The CRAVEman’s realm is as far as his tribe can travel and return home safely, resulting in a natural boundary to his domain. Being a simple chap, he doesn’t spend too much time pondering on what might lie beyond the edge of his realm or even further afield.

“Stone Age. Bronze Age. Iron Age. We define entire epics of humanity by the technology they use” – Reed Hastings (1960‑)

The Latest ‘Adventures’ of The CRAVEman

Like last time, there is some sort of story behind the images. Like last time, I’m not going to spoon feed you with any sort of plot. Like last time, I’ll give a hint about his adventures through short captions for each image. You can take that as it comes or you can create your own storyboard and use your imagination to craft your own version of The CRAVEman’s cracking capers. It’s much more fun that way.

I grew up with comic books, manga, comic strips and cartoon stories – everything from Krazy Kat, Peanuts, Garfield, Calvin & Hobbes, Tin Tin, Asterix The Gaul, The early X‑Men, Thor, The Fantastic Four, Spider‑Man, Captain America, Hulk, Dr. Strange, Vampirella, Watchmen, Judge Dredd, V For Vendetta, Maus, Wonder Woman, Superman and my personal favourite, Batman (the darker the better), amongst many others. The diversity of content fired my imagination and inspired my alternative view of the world, albeit somewhat fantastical and a sanctuary from the cruel reality of everyday human existence. It is in that spirit of conjuring fanciful flights of fantasy that I’m alluding to when suggesting that it’s up to you to put your own slant on proceedings. Take it where you want and immerse yourself in his latest experiences.

Guitar Maintenance Time – The CRAVEman giving one of his CRAVE Guitars some essential TLC before it is put to some serious band use with rehearsals and gigs coming up.

Cave Wall Painting – The CRAVEman trying to document and preserved the images of prehistoric CRAVE Guitars for future generations. It is kinda his guitar collection database.

Stone Age Graffiti – The CRAVEman viewing some local graffiti done by some local yoofs on a rock face near CRAVE Town. While not showing outward approval, he kinda digs that his influence is having an effect on the next generation.

CRAVE Guitars Exhibition Time – One of The CRAVEman’s close friends acting as an exhibition curator, showing off some CRAVE Guitars in the hope of inspiring others to take up the cause.

Band Song Writing – The CRAVEman doesn’t rest on his laurels or past hits. He needs to get down and concentrate hard on some serious new song writing for his band and solo projects.

Shopping for New CRAVE Guitars – The CRAVEman suffers from G.A.S. (Gear Acquisition Syndrome) just like his modern counterparts. He travels far and wide to nearby markets to look for new guitars to add to his collection. A prehistoric guitar shop, if you will.

Stone Age Social Media – The CRAVEman needs to promote and market his band’s image, so he sets about some prehistoric ‘social media’ posts. He has to use a clay tablet so that he can spread the word and follow the band.

Pre-Gig Arrangements – The CRAVEman has a drink at the CRAVEpub before his band plays a big gig at the venue. The barman is also a friend and part‑time band manager, event organiser, as well as venue owner, so it’s an important meeting.

Pre-Gig Chat Up – The CRAVEman meeting a couple of CRAVEgirls at the CRAVEpub, getting to know some of his fans and potential future groupies. Times haven’t changed much over the millennia.

The BIG CRAVE Gig – The CRAVEman’s band – The CRAVEband (what else?) – plays a big rock gig at the CRAVEpub in front of many fans, not just his tribe but also from neighbouring friendly ones.

The Gig After Party – In order to capitalise on the big rock gig, the pub landlord also arranged a post-gig music club after party with lots of frivolity and fun for his customers and to celebrate a successful performance by The CRAVEband.

Solo Rehearsal – Not only does The CRAVEman play with The CRAVEband, he likes to rehearse some solo material and engage in a bit of rock music head banging, just for fun and to let his hair down.

Battle of the Stone Age Rock Bands – The CRAVEband isn’t the only rock band in CRAVEland. There are several up‑and‑coming competitors. The landlord of the CRAVEpub organised a ‘Battle of the Bands’ event to celebrate local music talent.

Guitar Lessons – The CRAVEman knows that the future of rock music relies on the next generations taking up his passion. So The CRAVEman also takes time to teach the local CRAVEkids how to play guitar and keep the vibrant scene going.

Family Rock Jam Time – The CRAVEman’s old man drops into the CRAVEcave for a jam session with his son, proving that The CRAVEman is a chip off the old rock.

Chillout Time – After all the community fun playing with The CRAVEband at the CRAVEpub, the after party and the battle of the Stone Age rock bands, The CRAVEman needs some reflection time with his loyal canine buddy, The CRAVEdog, while noodling on his guitar for relaxation.

Outdoor Guitar Practice – On fair days, The CRAVEman likes to sit outside his CRAVEcave and enjoy the clement weather while also taking the opportunity to engage in a bit of idle guitar practice to lift his spirits.

Admiring The CRAVEman’s Guitar Collection – Also on good days, he likes to get his impressive collection of CRAVE Guitars out, set them up outside his CRAVEcave and admire them for what they are, great prehistoric rock guitars. He’s also thinking about what his next CRAVE Guitar might be.

Prayers at the Altar of Rock Guitars – Before retiring for the night, The CRAVEman knows just how privileged he is in his community role and feels obliged to pray to the venerable Rock Gods for his own and his tribe’s good fortune and prosperity.

Time to Settle Down – Coming up to The CRAVEman’s bedtime, he relaxes with his CRAVEdog and does a bit of noodling before retiring at the end of the day to snooze and dream of Rock Godness.

“Ordinary language embodies the metaphysics of the Stone Age” – J.L. Austin (1911‑1960)

Final Thoughts on the Latest Adventures of The CRAVEman

Well, that’s it for now. The CRAVEman has exited stage right and is taking a well‑deserved rest after his latest escapades. Given the season, it is time for his annual hibernation until springtime. However, when I interviewed me, my alter‑ego confided in me (Ed: that’s a disturbing internal dialogue) that he would like to return. As Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947‑) as the T800 cyborg assassin stated in the film, ‘The Terminator’ (1984), “I’ll be back”. Keep your precious peepers peeled for the possibility of further exploits of your favourite Stone Age Rock God! What a non‑living legend!

There is no protracted pretentious pontification for a welcome change this month. No opinion, just a momentary pause in proceedings to reflect on the puerile panoply of prehistoric pictograms.

Finally, The CRAVEman wishes everyone a great start to the Happy Holidays season from Thanksgiving through Christmas to New Year. Have an exceptional time everyone. Here’s The CRAVEman’s Thanksgiving celebration portrait…

“Welcome out of the cave, my friend. It’s a bit colder out here, but the stars are just beautiful” – Plato (c.427‑347BCE)

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’

Sticking with the Stone Age Rock theme of this month’s article, I’m going back a bit to the heyday of British rock. Appropriately, this month’s accolade goes to…

Deep Purple – Deep Purple In Rock (1970): ‘In Rock’ (for short) was English rock band Deep Purple’s 4th studio album released in June 1970 on the Harvest record label, comprising only seven tracks covering just 44 minutes. The band’s line up at the time was the classic ‘mark II’ membership (Ian Gillan, Ritchie Blackmore, Roger Glover, Jon Lord and Ian Paice). Classic tracks on the album include, ‘Speed King’ and ‘Child In Time’. At the same time as the album, Deep Purple released their complementary classic breakout hit single, ‘Black Knight’ (1970), even though it didn’t appear on the original LP track list.

Deep Purple were on a roll in the early 1970s with subsequent albums such as, ‘Fireball’ (1971), ‘Machine Head’ (1972) and ‘Burn’ (1974). I don’t want to get into the heated debate about what genre this album represents. Some call it heavy metal (it isn’t), some call it classic rock (only in retrospect; at the time it was just rock), some call it hard rock (ditto) or perhaps it is just… rock (probably most apposite). Ultimately, it doesn’t matter, it was great pioneering rock produced during a prolific and innovative period in British and American music. It’s not my personal favourite Deep Purple album; that would be ‘Made In Japan’ (1972). However, ‘In Rock’ is a great album by a massively influential band at the time and it fits the bill for this particular article very nicely. It also showcases the band members’ prodigious musical talents, not least the guitar pyrotechnics of Ritchie Blackmore.

BELIEVE IN MUSIC!

“Maybe when all was said and done, the imagination was the most powerful of all weapons. It was the imagination of the human race that had allowed it to dream of a life beyond cold caves and of a possible future in the stars” – Dean Koontz (1945‑)

Tailpiece

So, my veritable virtual visitors, the time has come for The CRAVEman (and me, in my multiple personality disorder duties) to bid you a flippant fond farewell, at least for the time being. I have a funny feeling that the modern world has not seen the last of The CRAVEman. Watch this space.

Next month’s outpouring is very likely to be a predictable end‑of‑year‑review article, so not too demanding on the real stupidity (as opposed to artificial intelligence) front. Fare thee well from the newly titled CVG, fine friends.

Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. The CRAVEman, signing off for now. Until next time…

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “What you will know tomorrow is an accumulation of what you’ve known every day before”

© 2025 CRAVE Guitars – Love Vintage Guitars.

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