30 Aug 2025

August 2025 – ‘The Distortion Diaries’: A Teaser Trailer

by CRAVEGuitars | posted in: Event, Fiction, Introduction, News | 0

Prelude

HEYYY, YO, WASSUP, HI Y’ALL, G’DAY, SALUTATIONS, howdy‑doody, henlo, aloha, Namaste, how’s it hangin’, salut, top o’ the morning, salaam, hey there, ahoy, ‘ello, ciao, greetings, etc. One hopes you’re all chipper this late August 2025 (NB. The first documented use of the noun ‘chipper’, meaning upbeat and cheerful, is from the ‘Boke of Keruynge’ (1508) – The Book of Carving – by publisher Wynkyn de Worde, a Tudor handbook for how to behave at court). Nowt to do with contemporary man‑eating wood chippers a la the film, ‘Fargo’ (1996) or even, ‘Tucker & Dale Vs Evil’ (2010)! I digress, as usual. Good to know some things never change. I bid you welcome, once more.

I was tempted to rant on (again) about the dire state of global politics and conflicts. However, I felt another polemic could disproportionately and negatively affect the overall tone of the article, so I will refrain. Regular readers will already know my views, so there is little to be gained from restating them here (again). Peace & Love, people.

This month’s article bears no direct relation to last month’s introduction of ‘The CRAVEman Cometh’ spinoff. However, there is a tenuous parallel in the pure imaginary creations of the contorted cavities of CRAVEs creative cerebellum. The subject matter this month is not entirely new but it is an expansion of previously hinted at material. It is also only tangentially relevant to vintage guitars, which means I am continuing on a fictional summer sabbatical at CRAVE Guitars for the second month running. Apologies to vintage guitar aficionados.

For this article, I return to the subject of the draft novel, ‘The Distortion Diaries’. Given that the potential book is the focus of this article, there deserves to be quite a bit of new material to explore. Expect a plentiful portion of pompous prose.

“For aren’t memories the true ghosts of our lives?” – Stephen King (1947)

Previously… on ‘The Distortion Diaries’

Several times now, I have intimated in the public domain that there was the potential for a fictional vanity side project. This was first implied at, way back in December 2023. At that time I wrote… “I felt an irresistible urge to write a fiction novel. Its status is currently work‑in‑progress. It will be called, ‘The Distortion Diaries’ (remember, you read it here first).” So, here we are, some 20 months on and the evolution of the tome is probably best be described as slow but steady.

However, while the novel has been referenced in subsequent articles, it has not yet been the main focus of a blog. So, I thought this month I would set the matter straight and take another brief diversion from the world of vintage guitars and put this long‑gestating idea centre stage. Why? Because I can.

In order to give the book’s narrative a bit more authenticity, I embarked on writing my own journal (well over 600 days into the real thing and counting). While there are some notable differences between a journal and a diary, ‘The Distortion Journals’ doesn’t have an alliterative ring to it (and you know how much I like to alliterate). The process of writing about events and random thoughts on a daily basis gives a valuable insight into the fictional diary of the novel’s main character. The rhythm, reflection and routine of writing the real thing helps with the introspective compositional style of the fabricated story. Very method! Pretentious? Most probably but not deliberately.

Back in 2023, I was very used to writing in various forms but, as I quickly found out, a fiction novel is a completely different proposition. Everything I had learned counted for very little. After an intense period of inexperienced book writing during the first half of 2024, the first draft had been completed, if not finished (there is a subtle difference). Then things were put on hold for a considerable period due to other things going on in ordinary life that took priority over writing. It was in October 2024 that I took the bold step to reveal the idea as part of the monthly article published that month. If you want to revisit that article as a preamble to this month’s update, click on the link below (opens in a new tab). In fact, I would recommend reading the relevant part of that blog in order for the rest of this article to make sense, as I don’t want to repeat material from 10 months ago here, unless absolutely necessary for coherency.

October 2024 – CRAVE Guitars Writing: An Introspective Inquiry

For once, all this month’s quotes from here on in are not attributed to real people. Rather they are some of the main character’s observations about life. They may or may not make the cut for the finished product. He likes to think he is wise but an innate creative conceit may mask fallible foolishness. You decide.

In order to make a little bit more time for writing the novel, rather than write about writing the novel, I will try to keep this relatively brief (for me).

“Humans are hopelessly self-destructive. No matter how hard we try, we are addicted to those things that will ultimately destroy us” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

Brief Update on ‘The Distortion Diaries’

Back in October 2024, I suggested that the author’s real name will not be used if the novel ever gets published. Instead, it will be credited to a pseudonym. The nom de plume (NB. literal French for ‘pen name’) has been carefully selected to conceal my identity, gender, location and genre. I am reluctant to reveal my unique pseudonym at this time in case someone else appropriates it before publication. Paranoid? Me?

In last month’s article, I introduced the front man for CRAVE Guitars, The CRAVEman. The objective for CRAVE Guitars is that it is the instruments that deserve the attention, not the proprietor, hence the alter ego. The same applies for The Distortion Diaries – it is the fictional characters that should have all the attention, not the author. In case you were wondering, the book will not be credited to The CRAVEman, although I must admit that I was tempted for a very short moment. Given that his vocabulary extends only as far as “Grunt!”, it didn’t seem appropriate for authorship.

Even though I am writing about it here, my intention is to ensure that CRAVE Guitars and The Distortion Diaries are discrete entities and fully independent of each other, if only to preserve the integrity of both, hence my diffident anonymity. I do not care for either fame or fortune. I just want to be the best me that I can be (d’ya follow?) and that means making CRAVE Guitars and The Distortion Diaries as successful as they can be, even if that success is measured only by the unassertive existence of both, irrespective of me (the only common denominator between the two).

“What mysteries lie in the names we are given? How would our lives be different under another name, another identity?” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

The book’s cover art has also been prepared in early draft and not finalised. Last time I wrote on the subject, the main narrative was just a standard Microsoft Word document (for functional convenience). The fonts have been chosen, the layout firmed up and the whole thing has now been reformatted in book form. These are all minor but essential administrative tasks.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) has NOT been used in any way for the book’s text – it is 100% my work, for good or bad. For once, though, I concede that AI has been used to prepare the basis for some of the draft images for The Distortion Diaries. Furthermore, AI did not produce the final images, just as a basis for further graphic manipulation. Whether the AI artwork makes it to the final product, we’ll have to wait and see.

So what has or hasn’t changed since October 2024? Fundamentally, not a lot. Sigh. Progress has, however, been made. If it hadn’t, there would be little point in writing this article. Enough expositional preamble. To business…

“The abundance of social company does not prevent the aching loneliness of the individual without a Girlfriend” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

The Main Premise of ‘The Distortion Diaries’

As a reminder, having said that I don’t want to repeat the October 2024 article, the synopsis is an exception to that particular rule. To reiterate, the summary was (and still is):

“The Distortion Diaries

Terry plays in a band. He doesn’t have a Girlfriend. He hasn’t had a Girlfriend for some time. Terry has a dreary job in IT. He lives alone with his feline overlord. One day, Terry decides to document his wretched existence in a journal. Rather than the journal reflecting and recording Terry’s lacklustre life, the journal begins to change it. A Lot. Is Terry’s life pre‑determined by fate or is his destiny in his own hands? Only his journal knows.

Based on a false story”

The synopsis remains relevant and unchanged (bar one word), even after a long period of reflection and having survived its first serious edit in April‑May this year (2025). That alone, is encouraging – that the original core idea remains largely unaffected. Thank goodness for small mercies.

I suggested in last year’s article that the book’s genre leaning is “a rom-sex-com-music-bio-mystery-drama-thriller-fantasy about contemporary man’s eternally favourite tripartite – sex, drugs and rock & roll”. Like the synopsis, that also remains unchanged. It is definitely not one for the politically correct woke crowd out there. I reserve the right to express free speech. Don’t agree with it, go read something else.

That’s really all you need to know at the moment. On the surface, the premise seems straightforward enough (a coming‑of‑middle‑age drama) and the structure (a chronological record) is a well‑worn story telling mechanism. So if the proposition and arrangement are (admittedly) clichéd, why bother? What makes this special or different? Why should it stand out from every other decidedly dreary ‘dear diary’ diatribe? Well, it’s the execution of the plot that I hope will entice, amuse, surprise and satisfy.

“I don’t want to be a character in a story, I want to be the storyteller” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

The Main Characters of ‘The Distortion Diaries’

Essentially, the concept revolves around eight individuals living in a fair sized town in the English West Country with the nearest large city being Bristol. The time period covered in the novel is 200 days over the summer of 2012.

The main character, as mentioned above, is Terence Wilder, aged 32. Wilder by name, not by nature. He is an IT specialist working in a dead end job for an anonymous company. Music is Terry’s major motivation in the absence of anything profoundly diverting – like a Girlfriend. He knows that something has to change, so he decides to start recording his life and thoughts in the titular diary. It is only a small change of routine but one that has major repercussions for Terry and those around him.

Terry is a founding member and guitarist with his band called The Imaginary Transtemporal Affair (TITA for short). The band’s name deriving loosely from a line in ‘The Peripheral’ (2014), a novel by ‘cyberpunk’ author, William Gibson (1948‑). The band has been together for a while and the bonds between the members is strong. Terry’s band mates are Xavier (guitar), Hector (bass) and John (drums). The band eschews the easy route of a cover or tribute band and battles with integrity to make their own multi‑/cross‑genre musical style they call HMSPGSALFGGSR (for short!) – you’ll have to read the full narrative to know what it stands for. Their debut studio album, ‘TITA Om Fyah’ is in incubation, as of 2012 (see ‘album of the month’ below).

“I thought of going full mullet. However, I don’t think it would be a good strategy for attracting a Girlfriend” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

The other three main characters provide the gender counterpoint to the band and, possibly, the catalyst for change. They are Olivia, Dakota and Alley. If you spotted that that only totals seven, you win a gold star. The eighth key character is Terry’s possibly supernatural ginger comrade and confidante, Kwat with whom Terry shares those things he can’t divulge to other humans. If you haven’t already guessed, Terry is Kwat’s human. Kwat exercises total dominion over Terry, just as it should be in the natural order of things.

After undertaking an in‑depth deep FBI‑style psychological analysis of the main characters, I can share with you a detailed profile of each of them. Apologies that the descriptions are so lengthy – these are inherently complex people:

Terry – unexceptional
Xavier – ambitious
Hector – debauched
John – mellow
Olivia – introverted
Dakota – intense
Alley – promiscuous
Kwat – numinous

OK, so I lied. Sue me. If you want to know more about them, then you’ll just have to wait. Soz. The dynamic interplay between these eight and the tertiary cast provide the core foundation of the yarn. You may get to like them. To say any more at this stage would be to provide too much of an insight into the concept and to render the actual narrative moot. Again, I want to tease you and dangle bait on a proverbial hook, not give everything away for nothing.

That’s really all I want you to know at the moment. The only other miniscule hint I will give away is that I will be manipulating the reader intentionally to subvert expectations (hopefully). All may or may not be what it seems. Beneath the surface, the tale could provide a profound existential observation, it all depends on how you want to approach it.

“I don’t want to be famous, I want to be good” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

The Plot of ‘The Distortion Diaries’

Nah! Not a chance! For the actual details of the storyline, you’ll have to wait and see when it’s completed and, hopefully, published. In the meantime, I will have to keep you on tenterhooks (NB. Not the literal meaning – hooks used to fasten cloth on a drying frame, called a tenter – dates from c.1633. The metaphorical meaning applies – to be in a state of uncomfortable suspense, anticipation or impatience). Let’s hope it will be worth the long wait.

Funnily enough, the conclusion of the story came easily, early on in the process, so I didn’t have to try too hard to fabricate a ham‑fisted finale. Maybe I’m not clever enough to pull off a successful denouement but one has to try, hopefully not in vain.

“Life is not a loser competition” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

Some brief excerpts from ‘The Distortion Diaries’

A special treat for you. The following three brief extracts were taken from relatively early in Terry’s journal entries. I don’t pretend that these are representative, they are just passages taken at sort of random. Due to liberal profanity and potential spoilers, there wasn’t that much that could be used in this article. I hope, though, that you get a sense of the style. Please bear in mind that these are from the first post‑edit draft and may well change (considerably) by the time the completed novel has been put to bed. After this article has been published, I intend to focus on the next substantial edit.

Excerpt from Day 1:

“Nothing happened today. Nothing is going to happen today. Nothing always does. This is my life. My real life. Not some made up life. Well, my life from today onwards. For however long that may be. The future has to start sometime and this journal will testify to my part in it. It is MY unique account, not anyone else’s. What went before is undocumented, available only from a fragile memory residing somewhere between then and the here and now.

This story is my mediocre, futile and fleeting folly of a presence on this small sapphire sphere floating in infinite black nothingness, with just our small saffron sun to warm and illuminate our existence. The 30 trillion or so cells that represent my entire body occupy an infinitesimally small place on this infinitesimally small space pebble.

…

“Hello Diary” (there, major cliché dispensed with). I bought you a few months ago, intending to fill your vacant leaves with exciting and interesting news about my run‑of‑the‑mill, mediocre life, mixed with the inevitable moments of whimsy, melancholy and pathos. Add oodles of hopefully hilarious humour. Ha‑ha. Don’t forget the counterpoint of joy, that of inevitable tragedy. I wouldn’t be into music if I wasn’t one of those sensitive animals with a severely damaged heart that pours their emotional baggage into the waiting cup of enchanted music.

It’s taken a while to get around to this because, well, that’s just me. I take time to get around to things. It’s not like I’m a professional procrastinator. Honest. I may dawdle a little on occasion but that can conceivably also be a virtue. Possibly.

‘They’ say the best things come to those that wait. That, of course, is bollocks. The best things come to those that go out and grab the great stuff first. The derisory dregs of detritus get left behind for the likes of me, one of the ones that wait. Adult real life, it has to be said, has turned out to be a big disappointment after the false promises of youthful expectation.”

Excerpt from Day 19:

“It was with irrational anticipation that I crawled out of bed feeling decidedly enervated in the outlandish world that is pre‑noon on a werkend. Why? The vain hope of seeing or even meeting the attractive young Lady I sort of ‘encountered’ at Everwax Records last week. As the veil of consciousness lifted, I became increasingly alert, as unheralded adrenalin flowed through my bloodstream. My pulse accelerated, my pupils dilated, my skin tingled and I felt jittery. The innate impulse for fight or flight didn’t seem appropriate. Contrary to my usual cynical demeanour, I was actually looking forward to going out. This is what the lack of a Girlfriend feels like.

Firstly, She might not even go to the record store at all. I have no idea whether She’s even local or not. Secondly, She might go to the shop when I’m not there. Thirdly, even if all the stars aligned and She is there at the same time as me, there is no guarantee that we will engage in any sort of meaningful interaction. Fourthly, and possibly finally, even if that unlikely linear sequence of events actually occurred, there’s no guarantee that such an interaction would prove positive. Having studied logic, probability, statistics and the science of BIG numbers as part of my degree, the odds were stacked heavily against me. However, irrational random anticipation overrules any sort of calculated common sense. Good job I don’t gamble.

And so it turned out. We, the band, dutifully deposited ourselves in Everwax Records at the usual time – the same time that She was there last week – and… She wasn’t there this week.”

Excerpt from Day 32:

“Yay! BIG gig day at The Lost Inn’s ‘dungeon’. I really don’t know why I’m making such a BIG thing out of it. We’ve done loads of gigs before, thirty or forty or so over the last couple of years. By the time we felt that TITA had potential, we already had a few public performances under our collective belts. We hadn’t documented our beginnings very well, which is a shame for my late life autobiography. Best laid plans of hindsight, eh.

I think the reason that this particular gig has gained some extra significance might be because writing about it in my journal helps me to focus and put everything in context. Articulating my thoughts provides me with some clarity previously masked amidst the dissonance of day‑to‑day disorder. Whatever it is that is happening, I am not complaining. Maybe this Diary thing has some motivational value after all.

…

As usual with gigs, once you get on stage, everything becomes an automatic blur. I can’t remember anything about our playing other than the odd bum note sticking out like a sore thumb (to us). It felt like we executed the whole set list in about five minutes. Actually, it was just over an hour but it felt like five minutes. There was no room for self‑indulgent virtuoso showmanship, it’s all about telepathic togetherness and sonic synergy. The feedback from the audience was pretty good and spurred us on. That’s what it’s all about, the reciprocal energy loop. We were stoked. TITA rules, at least in the moment.”

There you go, three snippets for the price of none. Just for clarity, the misspellings and capitalisation of the excerpts are entirely intentional and are a running theme throughout the full chronicle. You may well recognise the similarity of florid flair when comparing the book extracts with CRAVE Guitars’ articles.

That, I am afraid, is all you’re going to get for now. My motive is to provide a teaser with no obvious giveaways to spoil anything. I can only hope this modest modicum of extracts has marginally piqued your curiosity.

“The unpleasant astringent miasma permeated the empty concert hall at The Lost Inn; sweat, stale beer and a mix of other best-left unidentifiable fluids, saturated every pore” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

The Good News about ‘The Distortion Diaries’

Being positive, the general premise has hardly changed at all. The synopsis hasn’t changed in the slightest. The protagonists have been fleshed out. Also, the first edit proved that the first draft was pretty much on point, a fact that genuinely surprised me.

Another positive is the strength of the character development and the interrelationships between the main characters. Being hopelessly deluded, there is also a decent ending, a problem faced by far too many novels (and films). All too often, everything is very neatly tied up rendering the resolution unbelievable. Also, far too many stories/plots have a weak ending because decent conclusions are not easy to concoct. No cheap tricks here. When it comes to real life, a person’s experience starts and ends long before and after the period over which the story has been told. The Distortion Diaries covers a defined short period of time in the much longer lives of these 8+ defective characters, so don’t expect perfection. You’ll have to work for satisfaction and fulfilment, but not too hard.

Again, being vain and conceited, I was very surprised that it actually seems to work as a whole and I actually enjoyed reading it while also working on it. I hope that’s a good sign.

“I want to get better at life and then maybe life will get better for me” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

I also have far more material than the story warrants. This provides a great opportunity to ‘overdo’ it and then to execute a brutal edit to leave the strongest core possible. Only then, I hope, will the final cut be robust enough to stand up to scrutiny.

Another positive is that it doesn’t seem to be overly derivative. Yes, there are universal truths about the human condition that have been covered in infinite variety over centuries (and therefore unavoidable here), so it cannot possibly be classified as original or unique. However, I believe it is a fairly fresh approach that doesn’t stick to every storytelling rule that has been complied with before.

While there is little scope for a sequel (or prequel), there are opportunities for a couple of spin‑off stories with which my feeble grey matter has been toying. These ideas are not about Terry but other strange and very different fables. I won’t contemplate putting finger to keyboard on any of those until this one had been done to death. The curse of a fickle creative mind. A lot will depend on how ‘successful’ The Distortion Diaries is, when it has finally been concluded.

“The second best thing that can happen to a man is a good woman. The best that can happen to a man, however, is a bad woman. The worst thing that can happen to a man is no woman” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

The Not So Good News about ‘The Distortion Diaries’

Principally, the project has taken far too long to bring to fruition, which has been a constant frustration over the months. The gestation period has become tiresome, as it isn’t my ‘day job’. This isn’t because of lack of enthusiasm or interest; it has been a purely practical failing on my part to prioritise it sufficiently in the face of other unavoidable responsibilities.

I have now accepted that it is a slow process and have become less anxious about progress. It will take its own time and it will probably be better for it. I cannot afford the mental stress of pressuring myself to do it quicker. Better late than never, as ‘they’ say.

Then there are the practical hurdles. An independent editor would no doubt improve the end product. However, I do not want anyone else to change anything. I do not want it to be perfectly polished. I actually want it to be rough around the edges. I don’t want it to be like every other highly processed piece of prose. I want my own mistakes to be present in it; the many apparent flaws are an integral part of its charm, just as a genuine journal would be. These are imperfect people and they should be seen distorted through Terry’s defective lens. I want it to come across as if Terry had actually lived to tell his tale his way. I do not know of a single genuine diary or journal that has been crawled over by editors and proof readers to eradicate inconsistencies and errors. It is a bit like museum grade vintage guitars, something can be ‘too good’ to enjoy.

Another hurdle is self‑publication. I have absolutely no idea how to go about it. I have limited funds, so I cannot pay for someone to do it on my behalf. I also do not want to go through the ordeal of pleading to agents for attention with the associated high risk of rejection – my fragile ego couldn’t cope being subject to the critical whims of others not invested in the project. Neither do I want the end product to be managed beyond my ability to influence the outcome. As a bit of a control freak (Ed: No kidding!), I don’t appreciate being beholden to anyone else. Such interference is simply unacceptable to me. I really do not give a damn about what agents, publishers and editors think. They can make their parasitical living off someone else. I only care what I think and what genuine readers might think, warts ‘n’ all.

So, even if I get over the hurdle of writing, editing, agents and publishing, then there are the formidable challenges of printing, marketing, distribution, sales and promotion. Everything about the whole process is set against this being any sort of success, regardless of any literary merit. Even if it is a worthy story, it could fail at any of these key points.

The Distortion Diaries is a personal folly and commercial success is not a prerequisite for a satisfactory outcome. If only one or two people read it and get some ephemeral pleasure from it, I shall be content. My aspirations in this regard are very modest and humble. A bit like my ambitions for CRAVE Guitars as an undertaking.

As previously mentioned, I did toy with the idea of serialising The Distortion Diaries on the CRAVE Guitars’ web site. However, it wouldn’t really work and it would blur the lines between the two discrete ‘projects’. The novel’s material is also not appropriate for a vintage guitar showcase. So, that is not gonna happen. Decided.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had my heart broken. It really doesn’t sound like it’s something I’d want to try out” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

Final Thoughts about ‘The Distortion Diaries’

You may have gathered that I remain excited about this particularly narcissistic venture. The fact that the enthusiasm has endured since December 2023 without waning in the slightest suggests that there is something worth pursuing. I remain concerned about two things. The first I have mentioned many times, which is making sufficient time and space to complete the writing process. Put simply, the more time I spend on article writing, the less time there is for The Distortion Diaries. The second, as mentioned above, is the complications of getting the final product out there for people to judge. In these technological days, it really should be simpler.

One thing I am absolutely certain about is that this is not a literary masterpiece. It will not be ‘a great British novel’. Neither will it be a monotonous churning out of tedious, derivative drivel (Ed: Are you sure about that?). It was never intended to be an exemplar of literary excellence and that has not changed. However, it is a heartfelt and genuine attempt to be a bit different and to produce something that may be of moderate interest to others. While it breaks many rules, it isn’t revolutionary. It is what it is, an earnest first attempt.

I have mentioned before, and need to reiterate now, that this dedicated ‘labour of love’ (NB. an idiom that has been used to describe various forms of artistic expressions. Its first appearance in English was in the King James Bible, published in 1611, although it may have originated in pre‑medieval times), is NOT autobiographical. It is, though, impossible not to draw, and to isolate the final product, from one’s own life experiences.

Another thing about writing this month’s article was, once again, to test the waters, to challenge my own notions and to reinforce my beliefs about whether this is something I want to dedicate a serious amount of time to. The act of writing about it is, in itself, a reality check and I am pleased to say that it has passed scrutiny without serious mishap (so far). I am still reticent and uncertain about how to turn a good intention into a great reality.

One might wonder why I want to publish a fiction novel in the first place. That’s a difficult question to answer. None of the oft‑used reasons – and there may be dozens of them – resonate with me, such as a desire for storytelling, personal growth, confidence building, compulsion, social impact, sharing, competitiveness, proving something, self‑learning, self‑aggrandisement, income, attention seeking, legacy, etc. Quite simply, it is something that I would like to do. Simples.

Bottom line. Will it ever see the light of day? I hope so, ceteris paribus, but probably not. This article is intended to commit myself to completing the process to the best of my ability or I will look like a complete dumbass for boasting about it and then not delivering. Wish me luck.

If, perchance, it was ever made into a film, the location could conceivably be relocated to somewhere, say, in New England (comprising, Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont).

“The confusing interplay of human emotions and motives – when you think about it – is magnificently messy and chaotic, not at all organised or logical, it is an unreality existing in an artificially real world. There is no universal harmony in life’s experience” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month’

Given the subject matter this month, we have to delve into the creative aspects of Terry and his bandmates aspirations. During that fateful year of 2012, The Imaginary Transtemporal Affair (TITA) was working hard on live performance and recording ideas for the first of many albums that they intend to define their career. Entirely a fictional construct, this month’s distorted accolade goes to…

The Imaginary Transtemporal Affair – TITA Om Fyah (2012): The ill‑fated debut studio album from The Imaginary Transtemporal Affair has never been released on TITA Records, although the material exists and the artwork completed (see below). Comprising eight tracks over 72 minutes, the atmospheric aural adventures of unrealised potential evoke a mantra of melancholy and a more than a trace of transcendence. The epic ‘everything lasts for never’ (track 5, running time 6:41) is a firm band and fan favourite. File under HMSPGSALFGGSR music.

If only I had the talent, motivation, drive, skills and time to concoct this album for real, I would do it without hesitation. I wouldn’t change the band name, album title or track list one iota (NB. No, not the 9^th letter of the Greek alphabet). It would be great – I have to believe that. For now, progressing the novel is the main focus. One day, maybe the music behind it will be realised. I have a futile fantasy that someone will pick up the book and make it into a film and this album would become the original soundtrack to the movie. Now, precisely where is that fateful Crossroads that blues guitarist Robert Johnson famously made a deal with the devil? In the meantime, while I still have a soul, I can dream.

BELIEVE IN MUSIC!

“The earworm rented out the vacant lot in my brain’s auditory processing, easier to put on repeat than shuffle” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

Tailpiece

Once again, I have regressed into writing about writing, for which I apologise post hoc. While I am genuinely enthusiastic by this egocentric recklessness, I can readily understand why it might be too far off the well‑trod vintage guitar topic to be of interest for CRAVE Guitars’ readers. Further obsequious apologies. Even I need a break from vintage guitars once in a while.

As Terry remarks in, ‘The Distortion Diaries’, “I am only superficial on the surface after all”.

For now, I seem to have run out of ideas for next month’s article but I’m sure I’ll come up with something to distract me from reality for a few minutes. In the meantime, a final word or thirty from ‘The Distortion Diaries’ sagacious hero…

“Engaging with Women of the opposite Sex is a bit like engaging an enemy in strategic warfare. It seems I don’t have even a modest grasp of basic battlefield tactics” – Terry (The Distortion Diaries)

For once, CRAVE Guitars’ regular ‘Quote of the Month’ (see below) is extremely relevant to the ambitious subject matter of the main article. I do hope you’ve enjoyed this minor detour in the course of unreal life and that you will come back and ‘see’ me again sometime soon.

Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. The CRAVEman, signing off. Until next time…

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “The finish line may be in sight but is it within reach?”

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31 Oct 2024

October 2024 – CRAVE Guitars Writing: An Introspective Inquiry

by CRAVEGuitars | posted in: Introduction, News, Observations, Opinion | 0

Prelude

YO GOOD PEOPLES. Welcome once more to the virtual hamlet of non sequitur‑ville, population c.1. You may have noticed my annoying application of asinine alliteration, idiotic idioms and my tendency toward meandering narrative prose (duh!), so perhaps it’s some sort of disorder worth looking into. As hinted at previously, CRAVE Guitars is deliberately changing things around a bit this month. Nothing like a bit of variety, eh? You may well be grateful of a short(er) article after several recent rather lengthy and convoluted tomes, so I’m content to oblige on this particular occasion.

At the time of publication, autumn is wending its inexorable passage towards winter, so here’s a snippet of classical pertinent poetry to get you in the mood for some further flowery philology.

“There is a harmony in autumn,
and a lustre in its sky,
which through the summer is not heard or seen,
as if it could not be,
as if it had not been!”
Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792‑1822)

Is it just me or do most sensible people wish for a world free from bellicose brutality? If only sensible people ran the world. If only the message would get through to said belligerent barbarians seemingly devoid of any form of reasonable moral compass. War = Bad. Peace = Good. Simple. The relevance, use and impact of words and their ability to generate positive change will become clear… eventually… I promise.

“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world” – John Keating (1927‑)

This time around, I thought I would spend a few moments of superficial but personal self‑analysis, something that I normally feel very uncomfortable about. Perhaps that’s the stereotypical reserved Brit syndrome, I don’t know. I rarely discuss myself, especially in the first person, so this is a very unusual post. While I might refer to this topic somewhat flippantly and to some extent facetiously, it turns out that, perhaps, the author presents somewhat of an enigma and a conundrum.

This exploratory examination is also probably something that will be of little interest to many readers so, if you want to quit at this point, that’s absolutely fine. Thanks for looking in. However, as this change of approach will impact on CRAVE Guitars business‑as‑usual output for a (hopefully short) while, it probably warrants a bit of explanation. If the idiom that ‘those who can’t write, write about writing’ holds water, well, here is all the evidence required for condemnation. Sadly few images this month, only thousands of words.

“If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write” – Martin Luther (1483‑1546)

What I write

This article is something like the 84^th since I started CRAVE Guitars’ online presence back in 2014 (more on that next month). Apart from the extended ‘hiatus’ (2020‑2023), articles have been published at the rate of one a month. I don’t actively engage with any other form of writing other than to keep a personal daily journal and the unavoidable daily communications.

As a professional bureaucrat for over three decades, I wrote a great deal of business documents, briefings, academic learning materials, strategic and business plans, project and performance management reports, speeches, presentations, etc. etc. All very ‘real’ and original in their own way; nothing particularly enjoyable or satisfying though. My frustration with organisational writing is that it was all ephemeral and didn’t make any noticeable difference to humanity, at least not directly. Looking back, there was no legacy of lasting change and nothing to show for all the hard work that went into it. Nothing ‘me’. The discipline, though, did teach me how to write but only in a structured, formal way. I would hate to think all those years of ‘training’ were for nought.

“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do” – Thomas Jefferson (1743‑1846)

For nearly the past decade, I’ve been writing about my near‑lifelong craving (sic!) for vintage guitars. Why? I love ‘em. Plain and simple. To me, they are an ‘amour-fou’ (an obsessive passion). Writing about vintage gear has (generally) been rewarding. It started with features on my own vintage guitars before branching out into features on brands, amps, effects and, latterly, bass guitars.

Over time, writing also extended to blog articles and that broadened out even further to include many other related topics – to a greater or lesser extent. Now, I’m writing about writing about vintage guitars et al. The next stage, as we’ll see later, I’ll be writing about writing about writing, all of which is getting just a bit circular, a bit like the mythical Ouroboros (NB. an ancient Egyptian and Greek symbol depicting a serpent consuming its own tail).

I will return to the topic of vintage guitars in due course; I’m just taking a pause from the risk of getting stuck in a barrel or dredging a rut (as well as mixing metaphors for fun, another annoying trait – apologies). I need to come up with another, different obtuse angle… or even a cute angle (lol) on vintage guitars, hopefully something not done by others.

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading” – Buddha (Siddhārtha Gautama – c.480 400BCE)

Article writing about vintage guitars is one thing and it supports the CRAVE Guitars ‘brand’. However, I would like to do something different. Something non‑factual, something light and frivolously engaging, something that bestows some lingering fascination and perhaps something to stimulate debate. The value of the arts lies in its ability to provoke an emotional reaction, rather than simply to represent reality in some way. Discuss…

“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality” – Edgar Allan Poe (1809‑1849)

I could write about many subjects other than vintage guitars and music. I have several other keen interests, although none quite as all‑consuming. However, generally speaking, writing about other disconnected things on this platform would divert focus away from vintage guitars and music.

Language is an interesting area of study. In many ways, language is like music, to be played and crafted into something ostensibly magical. Like music, language can be composed either well into a thing of beauty, or badly into a reprehensible ugly mess. I am fascinated by words and the way in which we can construct the vernacular in novel (sic!) ways. This might explain why I use a broad vocabulary in a discursive, arguably prolix, way. Why use one common word when several obscure ones will do (sorry, Mr. Jefferson)? Languorous language is rejected and embellished English rules Britannia, at least this tiny corner of it. One is not attempting to be ‘too clever by half’ (NB. A ‘Britishism’ used in, ‘The Interpreter’ (1958) by George J. Whyte‑Melville). Honest guv’nor. At least my particular portion of precisely practised poetic prose is entirely first hand. No plagiarism and no AI here.

“All I need is a sheet of paper and something to write with, and then I can turn the world upside down” – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844‑1900)

Latterly, I have been hampered by issues of copyright over images. For instance, I would really like to take a look at guitars as they have appeared in the visual arts throughout history (fine art, popular culture, film, etc.). However, to do that really requires images of the artworks to support the narrative. Without images, such an article (or series of articles more likely) would be utterly pointless. As a non‑profit entity, I cannot publish images without permissions and royalties, thereby rendering the entire concept moot, null and void before it even gets off the ground. Sigh.

“Your intuition knows what to write, so get out of the way” – Ray Bradbury (1920‑2012)

Why I write

A more difficult question requires a moment of introspection. I sometimes wonder what motivates people, me included, to write. Thus far, a good enough answer eludes me. One thing might be that I just feel compelled to write (not convinced). Another might be a wish to leave some sort of tangible record (if not possible to do so in other ways). Yet another may be that I simply enjoy the writing process (again, not convinced), regardless of whether anyone actually takes much notice. I have tried to estimate the audience and it is likely to be no more than a handful in total. In the end, it seems I can’t not do it (excuse the double negative).

An issue with writing for a virtual platform is that it could be wiped out entirely in an instant, never to be recovered, even if anyone wanted to resurrect it. Recently a malicious incident at my Internet Service Provider caused a near‑catastrophe; fortunately, everything was recovered after a few difficult days. Alternatively, once I end my tenure on this planet, CRAVE Guitars’ documents will disappear overnight. Forever. So much for a lasting legacy, eh?

So… if the absolute readership level is so trifling, the only possible conclusion I can reach is that article writing seems to be an immense amount of hard work and effort for such a small audience. Does that actually matter? Which brings me back to thorny question of why I bother. Perhaps the change of direction for a while might help to aid such contemplation. Perhaps it may be time to review my ‘return on investment’ and divert some effort from feature and article writing into another personal pet project, just for a while. The slowdown in acquiring vintage guitar gear also points in that direction.

“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are” – W. Somerset Maugham (1874‑1965)

Is it just that I’m just a bad writer? I hope not and I trust someone would have the courage to tell me if the content was genuinely awful, either in subject matter or narrative style. It seems, though, that I need to have some sort of restless creative outlet, something to relieve the intense pressure cooker raging in my chaotic cranium.

All in all, not a very deep analysis so far. There must (must there? Really?) be some other reason why I feel the urge to put fingertip to keypad and compose unfocused prosaic narrative for other folks to consume. Just a thought? How does one go about measuring competence in a subjective field such as writing?

Which brings us onto my idiosyncratic writing process. Pretentious? Undoubtedly. Profound? Perhaps, occasionally. Original? Is anything original these days? Entertaining? I would like to think so. Pointless? I hope not. I attempt to carve and mould my own distinctive style, rather than copy the approach taken by those far better at it than I will ever be. My unusual technique has developed into something weirdly eccentric and eccentrically verbose. I know that. I can’t help it. An eclectic style can certainly be divisive. Readers will probably either love it or hate it – no middle ground. I cannot, however, be apologetic for the facts. Sorry folks.

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing” – Benjamin Franklin (1706‑1790)

Why I do not allow comments

Apologies for hobby‑horsing for a moment. Time for a little biased judgemental opinion. You may have noticed that CRAVE Guitars’ does not allow comments on blog articles. Like most dudes with a massive superego and crippling self‑doubt, I am inherently super‑sensitive and have an innate fear of criticism and rejection.

I invest a considerable amount of time and effort in researching and writing monthly articles, probably 7‑10 full working days per article. So much so, that I am not prepared to submit my efforts to ridicule by acerbic trolls who put absolutely zero time, effort and intellect into being confrontational for no other reason than they can. I am willing to forgo the occasional positive comment in order to evade many negative ones. I welcome constructive criticism but I will not lay myself open to ignorance, reactionary contempt and derision.

Anti-social media has sadly become a vitriolic battle ground for the disgruntled to promulgate their abhorrent brand of ‘free speech’ (Musk et al take note). In the ‘free’ world, it may be a right to express one’s opinion but true rights carry significant moral responsibility in order to balance out deviant extremes. Freedom is not about being able to do and say whatever one wants with impunity. ‘Free speech’ is not a poorly conceived unilateral entitlement, it carries with it weighty conscience and considerable consequence. Hard fought for freedoms are a privilege within tolerant societies and should be cherished and nurtured, not abused on a whim.

“Virtue is persecuted more by the wicked than it is loved by the good” – Buddha (Siddhārtha Gautama – c.480 400BCE)

Don’t get me wrong, I am a staunch anti‑censorship advocate but, let’s be honest here, that isn’t what these self‑appointed critical pseudo‑moralists are all about. These self‑styled evangelists want selective liberties that support their prejudiced dogmas and insist on selective suppression of anything that does not accord with such partisan doctrines.

A quick soapbox aside… I have a similar anathema to the PC minority brigade wanting to re‑write established literature to remove or alter what they feel is inappropriate. I would go as far as to suggest that it is a wrongdoing against history and a precipitous thin end of the wedge. If we condone the censorship of authentic literature once, where will it end? If we don’t take a stand, one can envisage the repeated re‑writing of literature over time until it bears little resemblance to the original. Literature, for good or bad, should be respected intact and we can learn from the cultural context it provides.

The eradication of swathes of authentic heritage on the whim of a few just because they ‘don’t like it’ (however intellectually argued) is unconscionable to anyone with any common sense. Exactly who decides how selective censorship is used? Who decides the revisionist version of history on behalf of humanity? Who decides what previous generations’ art is culturally acceptable or not? Who decides what future generations are permitted to read/see/hear? Discuss…

I do not shy away from genuine, healthy debate (whether ‘intellectual’ or not) but I abhor confrontation, especially pointless assaults based on indoctrination or proselytization. It is even worse for disagreements on petty principle to be played out visibly in the public domain. I’ll leave all that contemptuous cacophony of cruelty to self‑opinionated ‘influencers’ and ‘celebrities’ and their trite, trivial tantrums.

Neither do I wish to commit far too much of my life wasting time and effort on people who have no special interest in the subject matter. If someone really wants to get in touch, they can – the e‑mail address is at the bottom of every page on the web site. All I ask for in any communication is authenticity, integrity, dignity and respect. Everything else will be summarily blocked and deleted.

People, eh? Not a fan. ‘Nuff said. (NB. A colloquial idiom and contraction of ‘enough said’, implying the end of discussion, first documented in 1778 by playwright Henry Brooke)

“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple” – Jack Kerouac (1922‑1969)

Deep Thinking

Apologies folks, we’re going on a quick diversion for a trifling titbit of cognitive psychology. That’s the discipline which helps us to understand how humans obtain, process, store and use information. It is about perception, memory, language, attention, creativity, intuition and reasoning. Don’t panic! It will make sense. The idea of deep thinking is not new, Greek philosopher Socrates (c.470‑399BCE) suggested that we reflect on and question the world around us.

Having tried many times over many years, it seems that I am totally incapable of diving deeply into my own internally‑focused thought processes to resolve who I really am, what I really need and why I am the way I am. I simply cannot ‘find’ myself, using common parlance. My inner psyche remains concealed from me. Yet, I seem to have little difficulty contemplating universal unknowns, suggesting an external focus. Perhaps, I thought, it was worth investigating what’s going on.

“Creativity is intelligence having fun” – Albert Einstein (1885-1955)

The author’s dipolar struggle may explain a lot while also raising many questions. It appears, for want of an emotive label, to make me a ‘conflicted soul’. This is not a medical or psychotherapeutic prognosis, simply an entirely amateur observation. However, it triggered some shallow yearning for insight. For the list‑o‑philes out there, this is one of only two this month. Enjoy.

Twelve traits of deep thinking people include:

Introverted – Reserved and quiet. A loner who doesn’t seek social interaction and actively avoids contact with people. Reclusive
Observant – Say less, observe more. Pausing before reaching a conclusion. Not easily swayed by popular opinion
Quirkily humorous – Silly, juvenile, witty, comical and often self‑deprecating, often misunderstood
Avid reader – Thirsty for knowledge with an innate need to learn more and expand understanding
Forgetful – Overlook trivial social obligations and daily chores, as these things don’t much matter. Easily distracted. Tendency to overthink. Hard to relax
Intensely curious – Highly inquisitive. Never bored. Question assumptions. Interested in BIG issues. Passionate for learning and knowledge. Embracing of ambiguity and complexity
Forward planner – take time to think about the future and where to fit in (or not). Strategic and not detail oriented
Problem solver – Analyse patterns, identify potential obstacles, build innovative approaches and develop potential practical solutions
Socially awkward – Dislike many culturally accepted norms, roles and expected behaviours on a daily basis. Meaningful conversations matter, not small talk
Fiercely independent – Highly self‑reliant, content with solitude as a conscious choice. Doesn’t seek contact with, or dependence on, others
Creative – Artistic, imaginative, inventive, original, resourceful. Interested in the new and different (NB. ‘new’ implies ‘different’ by default)
Empathic – Emotionally sensitive. Compassionate and understanding, able to see both sides of a situation. Open minded

I check at least 13 out of the 12! So, does that make me a deep thinker? I genuinely don’t think so. What I do know, though, and this the point, I don’t think like other people. I never have. What does this actually mean in the real world? How long have you got? It also might explain why I don’t know what to do when (if!) I ever grow up. I fear that I will (have to) grow up one day. It may account for my aberrant behaviour, delusional thought processes and deviant misanthropic attitude. I said this was going to be short, so the answers to these querulous questions are possibly best left for another time and place. If at all. Ever. Don’t hold your breath.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its reason for existing” Albert Einstein (1885-1955)

Ambitions and aspirations

I am long past being driven, self‑seeking and ambitious. That was my decades‑long professional life working for ‘the man’, thankfully now behind me. Now, it is (largely) up to me what I do. My post‑employment lifestyle doesn’t accord with ruthless go‑getting, not that I ever had a game‑playing ‘killer instinct’ anyway. The rat race (NB. The term rat race dates back at least to 1783, used to describe a literal race between rats, now used as a metaphor for a pointless and relentless, competitive struggle) is now for others to endure. I still have lofty aspirations. Probably deluded ones but aspirations nevertheless. Doing something that matters is a key stimulus.

The one thing that I would like to achieve is to be a better human bean. Failing that, I would like to play guitar better and learn the language of music. Failing that, I would like to write better. It seems important to me to have my work valued and appreciated – for some sort of external validation (not very Zen). In addition, for some reason I really cannot glean, I yearn to leave some form of lasting legacy behind; a simple mark on the universe rather than the total obscurity of being just one anonymous, invisible momentary placeholder in the 8+ billion transient souls on this infernal rock of ours. Basically, I do not want to be forgotten – as if I’d never existed.

“Fiction is an improvement of life” – Charles Bukowski (1920‑1994)

That’s it in a nutshell. That’s not too much to ask is it? Probably. So what? A knotty question that leads me neatly onto…

This is IT – The Distortion Diaries

If, by this point, you are wondering where all this is going, it is now time for the ‘BIG REVEAL’. I have hinted that I would be changing my approach for a (hopefully) short period of time and that there was a genuine reason for doing so. Now is time to divulge my poorly premeditated plan. The result is… ‘The Distortion Diaries’.

Last year (2023), I wrote a first draft of a fiction novel. As already mentioned, I wanted to do something different. Something imaginative and original, not factual and not opinionated. I intended to undertake a first edit earlier in 2024 and to expand the content considerably during the summer and be going through a second, harsh edit around now. Unfortunately, other unavoidable activities and my diligent approach towards research and writing CRAVE Guitars articles has prevented me from sticking to the plan. With everything else going on, something had to give. Capacity is finite and there simply wasn’t enough of it to dedicate to a novel as well. Such a venture requires better than that.

So… the aim is to make a bit of space and time to do some of the focused work on the novel. Writing fiction is quite different from articles and presents a new discipline. It isn’t something that can be picked up and put down on a whim. It takes lengthy periods of comprehensive concentration. If the novel is ever going to reach fruition, it implies a bubble of space and time in which to do it.

“Description begins in the writer’s imagination but should finish in the reader’s” – Stephen King (1947‑)

When I started writing ‘The Distortion Diaries’, I intended it to be a fictional part‑biography of a wannabe musician. However, very early on, I realised two key things. The first key factor was that the subject matter on its own could not avoid cliché – it would be utterly predictable and therefore probably exceedingly dull. The second key factor was that such a story would be very short unless there was a significant amount of irrelevant, boring filler (to be avoided!). So the shape and style morphed into something completely and utterly different. Once I’d had the epiphany, everything fell into place. Like the CRAVE Guitars name, the title, ‘The Distortion Diaries’ has multiple meanings.

‘The Distortion Diaries’ could now be described as a rom-sex-com-music-bio-mystery-drama-thriller-fantasy about man’s eternally favourite tripartite – sex, drugs and rock & roll (not necessarily in that order). Oh, and the meaning of life (42, according to author Douglas Adams), as well as a coming of middle‑age saga. That is a very broad ‘genre’ mash‑up. It could potentially prove to be a disastrous mess, even with careful handling.

‘The Distortion Diaries’ will carry a strong ‘Parental Advisory’ warning, for two reasons. One is that parents should probably not read it. Another is that it is extremely explicit. The latter is something that authors try to suggest rather than be overt. Why? I find political correct avoidance of fundamental human motivations and behaviours exasperating and represent a centuries‑long unwritten rule just begging to be broken, whether people like it or not. Nobody forces someone to read something, it is an entirely discretionary activity. If you don’t like it, go and read something you do like. Your choice.

“Words can be like X‑rays if you use them properly – they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced” – Aldous Huxley (1894‑1963)

‘The Distortion Diaries’ is very different from your average high street and supermarket pop novel. Neither is it ‘pulp fiction’ (NB. Popular grimy and lurid genre novels printed on cheap paper, called ‘pulp’, dating from the early 20^th Century). This ‘epic’ work is written intended for universal consumption and represents an uncompromising condensation of mainstream mundanity, intense sexuality and serendipitous happenstance. The Distortion Diaries is a colourful tale about the monochrome lives of plain ordinary people with a controversially unorthodox denouement. Let’s not get carried away, ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ or ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’, this is not. Sorry ‘bout that.

“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story” – Frank Herbert (1920‑1986)

The story eschews traditional three‑act structure and attempts to avoid bland ‘creative writing’ clichés. Neither does it fall into the beatnik‑style stream of consciousness one‑act structure. It does, however, attempt to tell a straightforward story while also trying (hopefully) to subvert expectations. The only formulaic concession is its adherence to a well‑trodden linear, episodic diary‑type structure (the hint is in the title folks!).

Who is my writing inspired by? No‑one in particular. Just good writing in whatever form. Who is my writing like? I would never be so vain as to venture comparison. Who is The Distortion Diaries written for? Everyone (adult) and no‑one. I guess I wrote it for myself. Why should anyone read it? Difficult one. Perhaps someone seeking a temporary, idle distraction from the hard realities of birth, life and death. What do I like to read? A very diverse range of fictional works with few particular commonalities. Moving on…

“Words have a magical power. They can either bring the greatest happiness or the deepest despair” – Sigmund Freud (1856‑1939)

The novel’s synopsis is a crucial summary that tests from the outset whether there is anything worthwhile to the concept. The following outline is intentionally vague and ambiguous. If too much is given away in a ‘teaser trailer’, it won’t hold any surprises later on.

“The Distortion Diaries.

Terry plays in a band. He doesn’t have a Girlfriend. He hasn’t had a Girlfriend for some time. Terry has a dreary job in IT. He lives alone with his feline overlord. One day, Terry decides to document his wretched existence in a journal. Rather than the journal reflecting and recording Terry’s dreary life, the journal begins to change it. A Lot. Is Terry’s life pre‑determined by fate or is his destiny in his own hands? Only his journal knows.

Based on a false story”

Intrigued? I hope so. Even I was pleasantly surprised how it turned out, even in rough first draft form. No profound insights into existential enquiries on this occasion. Let’s be clear, this is not serious literature; it is purely for entertainment purposes. Light and fluffy it certainly ain’t though.

“What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure” – Samuel Johnson (1709‑1784)

Mock‑up cover artwork has already been designed, although I feel it’s a bit premature to publish at this juncture, as it may change drastically. Sorry folks. Hopefully, I’ll drop that if/when there is a future update.

I guess it could have been called, ‘The Karma Chronicles’ but I prefer the chosen title. Just to set the record straight, it is NOT in any way autobiographical. The fact that I play guitar (badly) and I am owned by a cat is neither here nor there. As a ‘writer’, I do occasionally steal the ‘good stuff’ from my own repertoire, so there may well be the odd choice phrase from CRAVE Guitars’ articles appearing in the script.

At some point, I will have to produce a more detailed ‘pitch’ that summarises the content but that will come once the task of expanding the narrative, fleshing out the characters and editing the full novel for coherence has been completed. I think the ‘pitch’ is important, as it provides an important reality check during the process. If the ‘pitch’ doesn’t work, the whole thing won’t work. Simple as that. I hope to finish writing and editing the novel in 2025. No pressure then.

“The first draft is just you telling yourself the story” – Terry Pratchett (1948‑2015)

Ideally, I would like to go against the norm (nothing new there!) and self‑publish this little vanity project of mine. I have absolutely no idea how to go about self‑publishing or even if it possible, let alone feasible. Then there are the not‑inconsequential issues of distribution and sales. That, though comes much later. Currently, there is nothing to deliver and peddle. So, first things first.

The trick, if there is one, is to find a way to build an identity that cuts through and stands out from the thousands of other works churned out every day, week, month and year. CRAVE Guitars hasn’t succeeded yet (sadly), so it is clear that there is absolutely no chance of a breakthrough by simply existing these days. If anyone has any bright ideas or can help bring this assignment to fruition, please let me know.

Readers may have noticed over the last decade that I do not seek fame and fortune. I keep my private persona very much out of the limelight and I try to remain intentionally anonymous. For this reason, ‘The Distortion Diaries’ (if it ever enters the public domain) will appear under a nom de plume (the pseudonym has already been decided, to be revealed at a later date). I shall endeavour to remain an enigma hiding behind the keyboard’s shadow.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed” – Ernest Hemingway (1899‑1961)

I did contemplate publishing ‘The Distortion Diaries’ in serialised form on the website. I decided against it for three main reasons. The first is that a purely fictional tale doesn’t really ‘fit’ with the CRAVE Guitars ‘brand’ – basically it has nothing to do with vintage guitars. Even if the novel’s protagonist is a guitarist, the stretch is too far to make sense. The second is that it is, as mentioned above, extremely explicit, which isn’t what I want CRAVE Guitars to be known for. The third is that the duration of a serialisation would side‑line all other subject matter for a couple of years, which I am not really prepared to do. However, if it is ever published, I am sure that I won’t be able to resist promoting it here.

If, as forecast by my overly well‑telegraphed lack of confidence and low self‑esteem, I don’t get anywhere with writing and publishing it as a novel, I may decide to abridge it and publish sanitised excerpts on the web site. It would not be an ideal outcome but possibly better than it being lost in the infinite void of forgotten and cancelled dreams, like the noblest endeavours of so many other wannabe authors.

“Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish” – Hermann Hesse (1877‑1962)

20 Questions

What follows is a mock ‘interview’ with the author of ‘The Distortion Diaries’

Will ‘The Distortion Diaries’ ever be published? Probably not but I hope so.
Will it be an international best seller? Definitely not.
Awards worthy? Not a hope in hell – and I’ve been there.
Required academic reading? Hah‑ha! You’re kidding, right?
Will it be worth a punt? Our protagonist insists on that being the case.
Is it sordid and seedy? Yup, for sure, for sure. Full of sleaze and exploitation.
Unhinged? Not even close. Bad things do happen but so do good things.
Is it edgy? It depends on the reader’s perspective. I try to manipulate ideas, as well as to challenge assumptions and undermine preconceptions.
Is it controversial? Hopefully it will generate credible debate. And criticism. Lots of criticism.
Will it offend people? It is not intentional but, inevitably, someone will always find something to complain about.
It sounds divisive? Like Marmite. Lots and lots of Marmite.
What’s all this about ‘distortion’? It has multiple meanings. You’ll have to read it to find out.
Is it a feel good or feel bad story? It doesn’t matter, as long as you feel something.
Isn’t it just the same old tortured muso type, struggling in a tired pop music industry cliché, overcoming the odds? I haven’t read every genre saga but I don’t believe that it is overly derivative. Nothing is truly original these days.
Will readers learn anything about the human condition? If they are open‑minded, possibly. The male experience is woefully under‑represented in contemporary fictional literature. This may help to address the imbalance.
What message is it trying to convey? Whatever the reader wants to deduce.
Will there be other stories or sequels? Who knows? I don’t. I have some ideas for a cunning spin‑off though.
If you had to use just one word to sum up the story, what would it be? Compelling.
How will people be able to read it? To be determined. It’s too early to say.
Who would you like to direct a movie of the story? Irrelevant. It’s never going to happen.

I personally do not seek social recognition or even the prospect of it. However, I would like to think that the product of my creativity might one day be admired. That would be a bonus rather than a rationale. Simply a desire to stimulate thoughts through my work and the knowledge that such thinking exists, albeit ephemerally. My satisfaction and reward comes in the execution of the process to the best of my ability (good or bad). I may write the story that no-one will ever read. However writing it is my achievement and my only necessary reward. Any success would constitute welcome deferred gratification. Very Zen.

Final thoughts on the power of words

I started off by saying that words have the power to generate positive change. Well… CRAVE Guitars’ features and blog articles haven’t really achieved that, have they? So, will The Distortion Diaries change the world? Sadly, it won’t. However, in the meantime, it might generate some harmless satisfaction and gentle fulfilment as a diversion from our otherwise mundane existences.

Closing the loop started at the top of this article… Should I attempt to change the world? Yes, absolutely. We all should do our bit to promote a better civilisation, society, communities, families and ourselves. We should not accept anything other than peace. We are, after all, partly responsible, even accountable, for how things are today, tomorrow and all the days thereafter. Future generations will scrutinise what we did to our planet and species.

“So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell: ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!’” – Howard Beale (character in the film, ‘Network’ (1976), played by Peter Finch).

Together, if the collective will is there, a united movement for a better world can achieve greatness. Easily said, hard to accomplish. It is way too easy to abrogate our moral and ethical duties, and look to others for blame, redemption and salvation. The lame “it wasn’t me, I didn’t do it” argument is simply not good enough.

“I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything” – Bart Simpson

Great words, carefully chosen can help to bring about great things. There are not enough vocal advocates for good. There are fewer vocal advocates who have the means for good. There are even fewer vocal advocates with the will and the means for good.

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea” – Buddha (Siddhārtha Gautama – c.480 400BCE)

Poorly chosen words can do a great deal of harm, as can carefully chosen words of bad people. Most of the rhetoric we hear from those in positions of power today is largely negative and critical. Propaganda obscures the truth such that we no longer know what truth is. War has never brought peace, only cataclysmic carnage. Only diplomacy through sincere words can stop war and deliver lasting reconciliation.

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill” – Buddha (Siddhārtha Gautama – c.480 400BCE)

You may say that such a simplistic stance is all a bit of ‘pie in the sky’ (NB. a phrase coined by itinerant immigrant labourer Joe Hill in 1911 to describe unrealistic goals), and an outmoded hippie pipe dream (NB. a 19^th Century phrase referring to the dreams experienced by opium pipe smokers). You may say that such hope is just delusional romanticism and impossible wishful thinking? Guilty as charged. One has to have hope in a better humanity, otherwise we are all doomed. Time to change, then.

“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act” – Buddha (Siddhārtha Gautama – c.480 400BCE)

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Album of the Month‘

As I’m changing things around a bit, there is no relevant reason for this month’s selection. So… what was the first ever album you bought for yourself, with your own money? Well, the simple answer to that question for me was…

Pink Floyd – Meddle (1971). ‘Meddle’ was the 6^th studio album by the English progressive rock band Pink Floyd. It was released in November 1971 on the Harvest record label in the UK. The first side of the album comprises 5 tracks including the opener, ‘One of These Days’, while the second side is a single, epic 20 minute track, ‘Echoes’. The cover art is a strange photo of a submerged ear, designed by Storm Thorgerson at Hipgnosis, the trendy design studio of the time. Hipgnosis was famous for creating other Pink Floyd album covers, as well as artwork for other famous rock bands of the time, such as Led Zeppelin, Genesis and Yes. To me, ‘Meddle’ marks a watershed between early Floyd and later Floyd, as well as a personal transition from pop music to serious ‘real’ music. A coming‑of‑age LP in you like.

Why was this album my first? DJ John Peel played the album in its entirety on release on his late night show on Radio One in the UK. I hadn’t heard anything like it before and it ‘blew my mind’ (man!). I guess most people have that ‘one’ album that changed their life. ‘Meddle’ was that one for me. I just had to own a copy. It still stands the test of time today.

“Music is the universal language of mankind” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807‑1882)

Tailpiece

Well, there you have it. That turned out longer than I’d anticipated and took more time than I had allowed for. I haven’t made much time or space for writing fiction so far. Sigh. Note to self… be more succinct, pithy, brief, concise, epigrammatic, etc. Second note to self… use less tautology.

So, a new perspective and a new side venture for CRAVE Guitars. Not a core CRAVE Guitars activity but a definite spin‑off. ‘They’ say there is nothing like a bit of variety, so a change in style and content for a few articles can’t be a bad thing in my opinion. Right? Remember, you heard about, ‘The Distortion Diaries’ here first. Write on.

You may have noticed that I regularly splatter the odd quote throughout CRAVE Guitars articles. These aren’t just random asides for no reason; they are relevant to the exposition and, hopefully, add some essential colour to an otherwise monochrome pallet of words. This month, the selection of quotes is particularly pertinent and, I hope, a little thought‑provoking. If only my meagre, mediocre mind could articulate such inspiring ideas in so few words.

To quote actor Patrick McGoohan’s character, No. 6 in ‘The Prisoner’ (1967‑1968) TV series, “Be seeing you”.

Truth, peace, love, and guitar music be with you always. Until next time…

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “I would rather be an anonymous genius than a well‑known idiot”

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31 Mar 2020

March 2020 – The Story of Modern Music in 1,500+ Facts – Part XII

by CRAVEGuitars | posted in: History, Introduction, Observations | 0

Introduction

Before we get going, I can’t help but comment on the current crisis. We live in truly remarkable times. It seems unimaginable how rapidly and fundamentally the COVID‑19 pandemic has negatively impacted on our global society. Just one month ago, the coronavirus outbreak didn’t even register as a ‘thing’ in the last article. How quickly things change. Is the current madness possibly some Promethean portent? One can contemplate conspiracy theories until the cows come home; ultimately, it matters not whether it is intentional biological terrorism, divine intervention or arbitrary happenstance, the consequences of today’s events will undoubtedly resonate through our species’ future history (if there is any!).

With the very real threat of the ‘coronapocalypse’ doing its best to destabilise our fragile civilisation, thank you for bothering to pop in here and take a look at the latest in this series of articles. The cruel irony of documenting mankind’s musical history up to 2020 is not lost on me. If society, as far we know it, ends c.2020, this evidential record may, after all, tell the full story of man’s last days of making music on this Earth. One can only hope that there may be some surviving souls left to learn and convey the salutary tale of our artistic legacy to upcoming generations.

Anyhoo, as an idle distraction from looking into the abyss (paraphrasing German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche), we really should stick to the knitting (referencing American business author Tom Peters) – apologies for merrily mixing my metaphors. You may have thought that after 11 lengthy articles, several hundred documented global events and around 1,700 discrete music facts that we’d be done by now and we could simply move on to another topic altogether. Not quite. To me, the narrative remains a touch inchoate and there are a few things that I felt needed to be added in order to give more life to the sterile specifics.

Before we move onto the next morsel on the menu, it’s time for that regular monthly recap. If you would like to (re)visit the first eleven parts (and 370 years) of the story, you can do so here (each link opens a new browser tab):

The Story of Modern Music Part XII – Epilogue #1

So far this series of articles has chronicled more than three‑and‑a‑half centuries of musical evolution through a multitude of factual snippets. However, the trouble with facts is that they are just that, facts. There is little subjectivity associated with them. If nothing else, music is important to us because of the way express ourselves and how it makes us feel. Music may evoke strong memories or trigger deep emotional responses and will surely be different for every individual. What I want to convey in this article is how profoundly and vitally important music is to us mere Homo sapiens (which, paradoxically, is Latin for ‘wise man’, coined by Swedish botanist Carl Linnaeus in 1758).

If you recall my previous 9‑part series on the ‘History of the Guitar’, that particular chronology covered several millennia, so it is clear that people have been making and listening to music for many centuries and, consequently, people have also been thinking, talking and debating music’s contribution to civilisation for a similar period. In many ways, the ‘History of the Guitar’ and the ‘Story of Modern Music’ make for good companion pieces and can be correlated and cross‑referenced.

Musicians are understandably a biased sample of the population. They are embedded in their craft to the point that, for many artists, life is an adjunct to music, rather than vice versa. What I want to explore with this article is the attachment that so many non‑musicians from hugely diverse backgrounds have to music in all its manifestations. While it is certainly possible for me to pontificate on such matters (as I’m sure you are well aware that I’m prone to do), it is better that the insights herein come from recognised commentators on the human condition and who have at one time or another over several hundreds of years made statements about music. Their vocabulary is far more eloquent and succinct than mine you’ll be pleased to hear. The source of these insightful anecdotes is a rag‑tag grouping of people with some historical stature, so as to bring some further credibility to the feelings we all may have about the subject matter.

The aim is hopefully to provide a completely different perspective on music in its infinite diversity, as well as be entertaining along the way. Is it just me or is there is some intrinsic irony in using only words to describe music without any melody or harmony involved?

The other advantage of this (first) epilogue is that it is significantly shorter than any others in the series so far. I haven’t tried to go for quantity here, rather I have endeavoured to document some quality observations. You may well recognise a few of these words of wisdom. Similarly, there will undoubtedly be many that I have omitted or missed, so feel free to fill in any gaps with your own favourites.

80‑ish essential quotes about music by non-musicians

The following quotes are in alphabetical order of the person, rather than any attempt to document the sayings in date order, as with the previous articles. I hope these fascinating and varied idioms carry you off to a different place, albeit temporarily.

Beethoven tells you what it’s like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it’s like to be human. Bach tells you what it’s like to be the universe – Douglas Adams (1952‑2001)

Where words fail, music speaks – Hans Christian Andersen (1805‑1875)

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up – Hans Christian Andersen (1805‑1875)

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness – Maya Angelou (1928‑2014)

Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances – Maya Angelou (1928‑2014)

The most exciting rhythms seem unexpected and complex, the most beautiful melodies simple and inevitable – W.H. Auden (1907‑1973)

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life – Berthold Auerbach (1812‑1882)

Without music, life would be a blank to me – Jane Austen (1775‑1817)

Music is the voice that tells us that the human race is greater than it knows – Napoleon Bonaparte (1769‑1821)

A lot of music is mathematics. It’s balance – Mel Brooks (1926‑)

There is no truer truth obtainable by man than comes of music – Robert Browning (1812‑1889)

Who hears music feels his solitude peopled at once – Robert Browning (1812‑1889)

To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it’s about, but the music the words make – Truman Capote (1924‑1984)

Music is well said to be the speech of angels – Thomas Carlyle (1795‑1881)

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist ― G.K. Chesterton (1874‑1936)

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song – anonymous Chinese proverb

Music is the soundtrack of your life – Dick Clark (1929‑2012)

Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without – Confucius (551‑479 BCE)

If one should desire to know whether a kingdom is well governed, if its morals are good or bad, the quality of its music will furnish the answer – Confucius (551‑479 BCE)

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is – Noël Coward (1899‑1973)

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamer of dreams – Roald Dahl (1916‑1990)

If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once every week – Charles Darwin (1809‑1882)

Music touches us emotionally, where words alone can’t – Johnny Depp (1963‑)

Most people die with their music still locked up inside them – Benjamin Disraeli (1804‑1881)

If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music… I cannot tell if I would have done any creative work of importance in music, but I do know that I get most joy in life out of my violin – Albert Einstein (1879‑1955)

It is always fatal to have music or poetry interrupted – George Eliot (1819‑1880)

Life seems to go on without effort when I am filled with music – George Eliot (1819‑1880)

You are the music while the music lasts – T.S. Eliot (1888‑1965)

Music causes us to think eloquently – Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803‑1882)

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife ― Kahlil Gibran (1883‑1931)

Where words leave off, music begins – Heinrich Heine (1797‑1856)

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent – Victor Hugo (1802‑1885)

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music – Aldous Huxley (1894‑1963)

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words – Robert G. Ingersoll (1833‑1899)

I need music. It’s like my heartbeat, so to speak. It keeps me going no matter what’s going on – bad games, press, whatever! – LeBron James (1984‑)

The only truth is music – Jack Kerouac (1922‑1969)

You couldn’t not like someone who liked the guitar – Stephen King (1947‑)

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe – Laozi (6^th Century BCE)

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf – Walter Lippmann (1889‑1974)

Music is the universal language of mankind – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807‑1882)

The great tragedy of the average man is that he goes to his grave with his music still in him – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807‑1882)

Music is the art of the prophets and the gift of God – Martin Luther (1483‑1546)

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary – Martin Luther (1483‑1546)

Next to the word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world – Martin Luther (1483‑1546)

Music and silence combine strongly because music is done with silence, and silence is full of music – Marcel Marceau (1923‑2007)

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself – Abraham Maslow (1908‑1970)

I try to apply colours like words that shape poems, like notes that shape music – Joan Miró (1893‑1983)

I painted the picture, and in the colours the rhythm of the music quivers. I painted the colours I saw – Edvard Munch (1863‑1944)

Music brings a warm glow to my vision, thawing mind and muscle from their endless wintering – Haruki Murakami (1949‑)

And those who were seen dancing, were thought to be insane, by those who could not hear the music – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844‑1900)

In music the passions enjoy themselves – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844‑1900)

Without music, life would be a mistake – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844‑1900)

If you want to make beautiful music, you must play the black and the white notes together – Richard Nixon (1913‑1994)

Music is a whole oasis in my head. The creation process is so personal and fulfilling – River Phoenix (1970‑1993)

Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul – Plato (c.428‑348BCE)

Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything – Plato (c.428‑348BCE)

Music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue – Plato (c.428‑348BCE)

Musical innovation is full of danger to the State, for when modes of music change, the fundamental laws of the State always change with them – Plato (c.428‑348BCE)

I would teach children music, physics, and philosophy; but most importantly music, for the patterns in music and all the arts are the keys to learning – Plato (c.428‑348BCE)

Love is friendship set to music – Jackson Pollock (1912‑1956)

There is geometry in the humming of the strings, there is music in the spacing of the spheres – Pythagoras (c.570‑495BCE)

Music is a very big participant in everything I do, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed – Zoe Saldana (1978‑)

I would say that music in our schools should be a must. When all other things pass away, music and art are still the things that are remembered. Music is one of the things, like the ability to laugh, that has kept mankind going for thousands of years. Music keeps us sane – Charles M. Schulz (1922‑2000)

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats – Albert Schweitzer (1875‑1965)

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die – William Shakespeare (1564‑1616)

The earth has music for those who listen – William Shakespeare (1564‑1616)

The man that hath no music in himself, Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils; The motions of his spirit are dull as night, And his affections dark as Erebus. Let no such man be trusted. Mark the music – William Shakespeare (1564‑1616)

Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned – George Bernard Shaw (1856‑1950)

Music, when soft voices die, vibrates in the memory – Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792‑1822)

Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought – Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792‑1822)

How is it that music can, without words, evoke our laughter, our fears, our highest aspirations? – Jane Swan (1925‑2010)

Doctors can heal the body, but it is music that lifts the spirit – Mother Teresa (1910‑1997)

When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest of times, and to the latest – Henry David Thoreau (1817‑1862)

Music is the shorthand of emotion – Leo Tolstoy (1828‑1910)

No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious & charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful – Kurt Vonnegut (1922‑2007)

Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician – Kurt Vonnegut (1922‑2007)

Music is the art which is most high to tears and memory – Oscar Wilde (1854‑1900)

Music makes one feel so romantic – at least it always gets on one’s nerves – which is the same thing nowadays – Oscar Wilde (1854‑1900)

Music enriches people’s lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that – Victoria Wood (1953‑2016)

Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child’s life via the education system – Victoria Wood (1953‑2016)

I listened, motionless and still; And, as I mounted up the hill, The music in my heart I bore, Long after it was heard no more – William Wordsworth (1770‑1850)

Tailpiece

That was, I believe, quite an interesting yet valuable diversion. Hopefully, you can now understand the rationale for seeking perceptions that are far more articulate than the absurd utterings of a heretical hierophant like me. One more quote that I like, which I cannot attribute to anyone in particular but which seems relevant and appropriate to current tragic events is, “Sometimes music is the only thing that takes your mind off everything else”.

What next, I hear someone say? As American amateur anthropologist Robert Ripley might say, “believe it or not”, there is a bit more ground to cover yet so my labours require a little more perseverance. Having come this far, though, I hope you’ll stick with it until the very end, which is now in plain sight.

With the artifice of our flimsy and ephemeral culture unravelling before our very eyes, please take care, stay safe, be healthy, look after yourselves and extract solace from some of the great musical milestones covered in these particular periodical parlances (sorry, I can’t help the allure of pretentious alliteration). Perhaps, if there is a sliver of something positive to take from being so close to the wretched mortal precipice, it is to ‘take nothing for granted’ and ‘make the most of every moment’. Clichés perhaps but also truisms for our tragic times. Surely, to do otherwise is eschewing sanity.

It will probably be no surprise that I relish presiding in splendid self‑imposed isolation and seclusion. This conscious choice is less to do with any prevailing contagion but more to do with being a curmudgeonly reclusive misanthrope. As I am sure you are well aware, I can’t resist the addictive magnetism of cool vintage guitars, effects and amps so, in between these inane cogitations and avoiding the prevalent plague, you probably know where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing. I hope I’m still here for ensuing articles. Until next time…

CRAVE Guitars’ ‘Quote of the Month’: “The science of the universe is the rule book by which our music is created. The mystery of the brain is the filter by which our music is felt as emotion”

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